Elaine Ng Doesn’t Mind Daughter Exploring Her Sexual Identity
The tumultuous relationship between Elaine Ng (吳綺莉) and her daughter, Etta Ng (吳卓林), seems to have taken a turn for the better. While Etta’s suicidal tendencies are being addressed by a team of doctors and social workers, Elaine is also seeking care from a psychologist. Both mother and daughter are making efforts to mend their damaged relationship.
Recently, Elaine appeared at a promotional event with an entirely new image. Elaine said, “Not only am I changing my appearance, but I also need to improve my internal emotions. Right now, I have accepted that mood disorders do exist. I need to accept it and face it. I hope to be a good role model and also look healthier, so I can work hard. I haven’t had any work these past few months because I returned to Shanghai to take care of some property matters. Furthermore, I’ve been under a lot of pressure these past few months too. Thank you to my friends for their support. I’ve been exhausted.”
Growing up under the spotlight and branded as international superstar, Jackie Chan’s (成龍) illegitimate daughter, Etta internalized a lot of negative feelings. Spotted with more than 20 cuts on her wrist, Etta is currently on medication and being cared for by a team of medical professionals for her suicidal tendencies. Elaine said, “As a mom, seeing her child get hurt is very heartbreaking. I can’t blame her. Instead, I have to improve myself. I’m thankful that we realized this situation early on, so we still have time to mend it.”
Elaine continued, “[Etta] grew up in a single-parent household, and our situation is very peculiar. Just because I have accepted the situation doesn’t mean she can accept it. As a mother, I neglected her feelings a lot back then. It accumulated over time. It caused her to feel a lot of pressure until she finally exploded. Thanks to the help of her friends, she is learning to become stronger and calmer.”
Etta has also been extremely close to a popular female Internet star, leading to rumors that they are dating. When asked whether their conflicts arose from Etta’s friendship with the famous internet star, Elaine denied this. “Can’t blame other people. I neglected her feelings. I failed her. I apologized to her in person. They are just friends. She is 17 and is just trying to get to know people. I don’t know how it will turn out. Even if she is dating this person, it won’t be the last one.”
On whether she can accept if Etta is lesbian, Elaine said, “I’m very open-minded. It doesn’t matter. I’ll be more scared if she told me she’s pregnant and that I’ll be a grandma! Sexual orientation doesn’t matter. The most important thing is that the person can take care of my daughter, have a kind heart, and loves her.”
Source: On.cc
This article is written by Huynh for JayneStars.com.
If the blonde is the one who is Etta’s friend, she looks even older than Etta’s mom. Maybe it is a bad camera angle.
I am glad to hear Elaine acknowlege and admit that she needs professional help, they both do. I pray that the two of them get the help they need to heal and start a fresh mother and daughter relationship. With professional help, they can be there for each other as Etta is basically fatherless. These two need each other so much. It is never too late to start over, and as @heitieshou would say” blood is thicker than water, and a mother/ child love for each other is priceless”. It is important to heal and forgive at the end of the day.
@bubbletea Low fan doesn’t age as well as Asian IMO but that blonde look really old. She’s also smoking so probably much older.
Glad they are working things out and they they recognize they have issue. Hopefully, it’ll be the turn for the better.
Lesbian or whatever, it points to the same thing – that Jackie Chan is a scumbag, the worst of its kind.
The LGBTQ community will often attribute sexual preferences to being biological but it’s also interesting to note envifonmental factors are strong.
In the case of socialite Gigi Chao – she’s a very capable businesswoman who’s openly gay. With a background with a philandering dad who openly boasts abt bedding 10 000 or whatever women (despite 2 marriages) … or watching the women’s role such the household … you wonder what is what.
Ditto Etta.
Also I think the Western vs Asian take can also be helpful and unhelpful. There can be too much soft enabling and thus creating a woe-is-me life-long situation where an individual is enabled and cannot help themselves bec they have access to lifelong psychologists and meds – which really don’t do anything. Whereas in Asia … s’times faced with adverse life circumstances and matter of fact reality – they step out and say “Screw This … I am going to do better, or just do different from the scumbag that is my dad” and they rise to become very strong personalities on their own. And able to support their moms-siblings too.
I hope Etta becomes the latter. Her mom didn’t have an easy time raising her either.
@nomad822 Please don’t spread misinformation. I know you don’t mean any harm but it’s very irresponsible what you’re saying now. Psychologist and medication are vital and necessary if you’re dealing with mental issues. Things like clinical depression cannot be cured without medication, the last thing I want are more people avoiding help and take the suicide road because they think ‘psychologists and meds don’t do anything’ or ‘can rise above it by thinking positively’ I can personally attest that the Asian ‘mentality’ of not dealing with psychological issues is everything except healthy. I also have statistics and scientific research to back it up. Sorry I’ve witnessed too many tragedies in this regard to take this passing comment lightly.
Please read this:
http://pb.rcpsych.org/content/28/12/451
http://www.scmp.com/comment/insight-opinion/article/1307071/suicide-prevention-hampered-mental-health-stigma
https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/419358/chinas-stigma-around-mental-health/
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9488896
People who are reading this: please go seek professional help if you’re dealing with mental problems. You’re not alone or weak for doing so and it will help you, I promise.
I know we Asians tend to not deal with mental issues at all or ask for help because let’s face it you’ll be stigmatized. But please do for your own sakes and happiness.
To clarify:
Sorry no, NOT asking people not to seek help. Apologies if it came across that way. Nor in endorsement that MH nor LGBTQ should remain social stigma secrets (it is unfortunately, even in some Western social circles. just look at some terms people used to describe MH and LGBTQ. imo using terms in passing like “pity” and “pitiful” is not empathy – rather, they are derogatory and condescending)
I am in social work, by choice – ie to help, to make differences, however small. But through work and having lived equal time in both Asian/Western cultures – can also see how meds, psychiatrists and psychologists can also ‘enable’ some individuals all their lives. This isn’t very helpful either.
Support groups help. Counselling definitely helps, is a neutral non- judgemental outlet to talk, puts things into perspective (s’times) … but it will NOT show anyone the ideal perfect solution if people are banking on that.
All I am saying is – down the road, past the meds etc – one still has to be master of that key to the next step and chapter of your own life, even with help available. Find that strength within. Put the past behind, it cannot neither be erased or changed (or justice cannot be sought). Just getting help is already getting to a better place, compared to before.
One baby step leads to another … and a bigger better brighter path. Rather than a dark tunnel of a life-long ‘victim’ mindset. Take the opportunity to take charge and move on rather than stagnate or spiral.
While on meds and support systems to help someone to a better place – individuals also need to WANT to help themselves too, instead of staying in a ‘WOE is ME’ place of perpetual lifelong neediness and stubborn refusal to make any simple and doable next step/s to helping themselves. Or substance abuse to escape and creating yet another issue – addictions.
Many of my clients have become self-pitying or keep attributing everything to the past, and spiral further downwards. Perspectives: someone with a bleak cancer prognosis and no mobility – would kill to be just to be able to take charge because these folk still have independence/2 legs, and have control).
Ultimately, it’s your life to lead – while the past/hurt/harm/mistakes etc cannot be undone – the future is your own to control and carve new paths. Don’t just cling onto support systems to merely EXIST daily. Even volunteering – it makes one feel useful at least.
There is even an insider term apparently a transition house (domestic violence) person coined. for eg: become self “institutionalized” (ie the welfare cycle) … or kids who see moms on lifelong welfare with no inclination to work or seek jobs even when they are made available. Or even when they are mentally-physically able. Because it has become far easier to ‘stay MH’ as justification for staying on welfare too. Rather than work it through or feel useful-needed working. And raising kids who may become welfare recipients themselves because they know no better role-models.
I’m NOT disagreeing that meds do help people with depression. The beef I have with is too many western docs prescribe them left to right and solely believe that is the cure. It’s only a bandaid IMO. It helps to open up neurological chemicals in our body (idk the proper terms). However, I believe psychological illness needs more than just meds and pills. Psyc docs help and go hand in hand.
An analogy I would draw is as followed.
Patient= Overweight person : person with depression.
First step = Diet pills or surgery : Prozac and other anti-dep meds.
Short term benefit = cut down pounds : feel less crappy bc they don’t give a crap anymore.
Long term fix = dietary change and exercise : outlook of the world and self change for the greener.
/that’s all my 2 cents. Peace.