Raymond Wong: “I Don’t Spank My Son!”
While Raymond Wong (黃浩然) is no stranger to playing the character of a caring and responsible father many times onscreen, he is just the same loving and doting father to his one-and-a-half year old son Kayden offscreen. He hopes that by setting a good example for his son, Kayden will learn to be a good person doing good deeds.
Raymond participated in the “One One One” charity which collects unused toys for the underprivileged kids recently. “Many children’s toys are left abandoned after the children grow up which is a waste. Items such as strollers can be donated to families in need. Not just strollers, but school uniforms and books can also be recycled. If we instill these ideas in children from an early age and teach them to take care of the environment, it’ll benefit both the kids and our society in the long run.”
A firm believer that actions speak greater than words, Raymond pays special attention to his own actions around his children. “When my wife is at work and I take Kayden to a playgroup, I’ll make an effort to talk and communicate with him because he’s an extremely quick learner at this age. For example, he saw that we used a Q-tip to clean our ears and he learned to do the same thing! If we sleep late, then he will adapt his sleeping schedule to be later in the night as well.” Raymond wants to ensure that he sets a good example for his son, and at the same time, re-evaluate his own habits.
Raymond admits that his son can be very active sometimes and require extra attention, but no matter how much his son misbehaves, Raymond does not think that spanking or hitting is a solution. “If we hit him, he will think that violence can solve problems and we definitely don’t want to teach him that. When he does misbehave, I discipline him by making him stand still.”
Whether it is onscreen of offscreen, fans of Raymond know that he will always put his best efforts in his work with good intentions at heart.
Source: I-Kid Magazine #31 via kuangaitvb.com
This article is written by Natalie for JayneStars.com.
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Kids these generation are extremely smart, super active. needs super high EQ to educate them..Way to go, Ray..Keep it up!!
I agree,they have become so smart at such a young age that it’s quite scary lol. My friends son is 1 and a half yrs old and he already knows all his abc 123, understands and speaks English when his first language is Chinese.
I have a friend whose’ daughter is only 4 years old and can play the piano, know multiple language and read ronald dahl’s books. Crazy.
LOL when I was 4 I was still learning my abc and 123, and playing with leggos… the kids from this generation are like technology junkies o_O lol
Kidd,
Maybe the parents spent extra time practicing the piano and reading books with the kids. The early part of a child’s success can be primarily attributed to the environmental exposure and parental guidance.
I know of a friend’s baby who was watched by in-laws and all they did was leave the baby in her crib 8 hours per day (take outside crib for meals). Very little stimulation from adult. The in-laws did this until baby turned two.
The kid even read the dictionary, Hunchback of Norte Dame, Legend of Sleepy Hollow, Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, according to her mom. Maybe they are simplified versions, but, still amazing.
Jayne,
oh no, poor baby. Kids need lots of stimulation and interaction. Such poor kid. Now aday parent like to bring iPad every where to baby sit the kids.
Kidd,
maybe the mom was bragging a little? She seems like the type who likes to show off their kids. I have also learnt the piano and violin, along with ballet and art, and all started when I was three. and speak multiple languages from young, and my mom was somewhat obsessed with whose kid is the best, even though she refuse to admit it up to today. haha
Kidd,
have you watch this video? All of these kids are only around 5 or 6. They are playing guitar bigger than their body haha.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSedE5sU3uc
Your friend’s kid might be a prodigy or genius. Some kids are really fast at learning, they are like sponge. But some start learning really early and like Jayne’s said the parent might have spend a lot of time invest on the kid.
@ nicole wow, you did all that at the age of three? are you earning more than jackie chan? many ppl laughed at him for being illiterate but he is at the top of his trade
When u start learning from the age of three, you absorb more, but whether you want to continue, after you are forced to do so, is a different story.
Nicole,
Did you enjoy the activities your mom arranged for you to learn (piano and ballet)? How long did you continue with the lessons?
Growing up, my family did not have enough money nor saw the need for such lessons. I wish I was exposed to more activities when young.
Kidd, your friend’s kid sounds like a prodigy in the making or a very diligent child. Refreshing to learn that! Nowadays kids are more into video games even at the age of 4.
@ Funn,
Yeah, she’s a smart kid and not just book smart. Some times, I think her mental age is older than her physical age. But, then, maybe all kids are like this now with the current early education.
I think the parents encourage her creativity. She’s doing little projects of her own inventing stuff. Her mother posted some of the diagrams on her facebook. The drawing is still very childish, but, she definitely has creativity.
I don’t know about bragging. Maybe she’s just a proud mother who likes to share her child’s development with friends, like writing a blog.
Jayne,
While I might have enjoyed the idea of them, I can’t really say I enjoyed them. Fact: Ballet and piano (along with other activities), requires a lot of discipline if you want to be good. Hours of stretching on the barre did hurt like hell, hours of practicing scales and training your left hand to work the keys like clockwork was boring for a kid who just wanted to watch cartoon network after school. I liked art classes though, because you don’t have to practice, although artists from the classicism period might rage about that.
I did piano for 10 years+, and ballet for 6+ years. I can’t say I love them, but I guess I’m grateful for their benefits. Even if you don’t like piano when you grow up, you can read music, and that helps whether you like singing, or playing the saxophone. Ballet strengthens a child’s coordination. If I decide to have a child, I will definitely teach them such skills from young.
Cultural parents and spanking their kids. LOL
he used to be so cute i guess being parents really tires you out? hes certainly cute NO more haha..lol…
No my dear, it’s time being an unforgiving b*tch.
And yes, it will happen to you as well.
Some kids need spank and some of them even get more naughty after spanking. Really depend on kids personality.
One of mine really scared of spanking while another one would even go more wild with spanking. Parenting just so difficult , oh my..not only physical but mentally exhausted.
no, kids don’t need to be spanked or hit at, you may think that some kids need a good spanking but that is so wrong, they may be afraid of you now but bitterness sets in, no love and respect for the parent who spank, may become rebellious when they grow up, please hug and talk to your child, smile and joke with them
Kids will become rebellious even of you don’t spank them. There’s a rebellious period that most teenager go through.
I got spanked pretty bad when I was young because I was REALLY REALLY rebellious. I actually thank my parents for doing so or I would have probably turned even worse since talking and smiling probably wouldn’t have worked that much. You guys remember those “feather duster” that Asian parents used during the good old days? i don’t think anyone uses them nowadays cause kids might ending up call the police…
If you keep spanking them for little mistake and all the time that is being abusive. And if that’s the case , yes the bitterness will set in. We only refer to occasional spanking, especially for extreme mistake that they did. I never spank my kids if they mistakenly spill juice or milk, because it’s minor thing. Normally it is more for behavior issue that if you don’t enforce it will get out of hand when they grow up.
My teacher hit my knuckles when I was caught cheating in a spelling test in primary school. It has the desired effect. I never ever cheat on test after that. I hold no bitterness for my teacher, only that girl who ratted me out when she didn’t cheat for ONCE.
Kidd,
“My teacher hit my knuckles when I was caught cheating in a spelling test in primary school. It has the desired effect.”
Lol, I found your cheating story to be a bit amusing, especially since you come across as a very righteous person and will speak up and root for underdog/ less popular artists.
if not for the teacher, maybe Kidd will not grow up to be such a righteous person 😛
Corporal punishment is not allowed in the US anymore,but none of us got hit back then… I am shocked that a teacher hit you Kidd… One of my teachers threatened to hit this one kid in our class but never did since corporal punishment is not allowed at all…
I got spank for little things, such as accidentally spilled cereals. I grew to become distant from my parents, but not rebellious. My sister however, became more rebellious from spanking. So, yes I agree that the outcome of spanking depends on the child’s personality.
MY parents spanked us back then but not much… We became distant from them due to it… Luckily, we all turned out decent but not sure if it was because of the spanking..
@ Nicole
Maybe. I am thankful to the teacher. 😀
@ HTS
Nothing to be shocked about. Corporal punishment was not frequent in my school since it’s an all girls school. But, naughty students did sometimes get hit on the palm/knuckle with a ruler. That was the old days. Don’t know about now.
I never spank my kids or ever hit them…but then maybe it’s a cultural thing as I’m Chinese but raised in England and in this country hitting is frowned upon. Im also qualified and trained to work with young children so I know that children gain nothing from being hit they will only learn pain.
children needs to learn there are consequence when you do wrong just like the real world. If you steal or hurt ppl you get jail time. My way of punishing for bad behavior was time-out or take their most favorate toy away and if that doesn’t work then the spanking will come but not with force always remind them what they did wrong continuely so in result they get spank and spend time in their room to think about what they did wrong. Usually they get it in the end and don’t do it again.. or at least not for a long time. I believe in using your common sense, parenting is not easy some kids are tough some are very easy to handle. Raymond’s son is only 1 1/2 wait till those terrible two and those constant disobeying daily you’ll see the challenges.
Kids are extremely smart if you don’t lead them, they’ll def’ lead you and fooled you in a matter of a seconds.
terrible two huh? actually kids are frustrated at that age cos they cannot communicate so well.. don’t know how to express themselves verbally yet or cannot perform the task they would like to do, that’s why they are angry most of the time, try calming them down, the child needs your help and support at any age, you cannot be mean to him/her at that particular age just because you feel tired..
age 2 to 4 actually very difficult age to deal with. They are in between understand and don’t. But sometimes tired mom is also human. I remember went through international airport with 4 big suitcase holding a screaming toddler through custom check. Believe me..it freezes your brain.
Ita,
“Me” time is always important for any age. You need to take care of your own needs sometimes too and take a little mental break from kids to stay happy.
Kids are a big stresser in any marriage.
Violence does not solve the problem. I don’t know why our older older older older older generations thinks its a good method to dicipline by hiting them. In Texas, teachers can hit their students. That is fk up.
wth?? Teachers in Texas can hit students?!? That is REALLY screwed up o_O In Australia teachers aren’t even allowed to say things like ‘stupid’ or something to students let alone hit them.
They thought it’s a good method because it’s proven to have worked.
I believe corporal punishment is acceptable as long as the offence committed is serious, or problematic behaviour that need to be curbed at root.
But please remember, never ever abuse the spanking because of your own temper issues because kids do know how to differentiate. I remember being knocked on the forehead by my mum because she was in a bad mood and think I was taking too long with my bath time (I was 6 or 7). I still remember that until today even though I had worse spanking from her.
Different kids require different types of punishment. What might have worked with one child, may not work with the next; and now we are talking about something spanning generations. It requires understanding the child’s personality, which sadly, many busy parents do not invest their time in.
@ sehseh
I agree. Corporal punish cannot be applied while in anger. I must be accompanied by reasonable guidance. Must let the kid knows why he’s being punish.
Some children are more challenging than others but what about children with special needs and have severe behaviour problems…they are even more harder to deal with but you wouldn’t hit them knowing the problems they have. There are more constructive ways to discipline children without needing to spank.
It just depends on the child… Also, you wonder if you believe in nurture or nature?? Sometimes you can set examples and teach your kids, but whether they listen or not is a different story…
You are quite right, HeTieShou, it really depends on the child. Words sometimes just won’t do and you can talk to him till the cows come home and still he is stubblorn or naughty. A little spanking won’t do harm and shows who’s in authority. Remember the saying, “Spare the rod and spoil the child”.
Even a little spanking is not needed to discipline children no matter what age or behavior is displayed. If it doesn’t do any harm then why are pre-school teachers not allowed do a little spanking? This is because thorough research has been done there is no benefit whatsoever in hitting children even if it’s just a tap on the bottom…what would the child actually learn? They may stop the behavior for a bit then something else will come along then you repeat the pattern. Talking at their level and explaining their actions are wrong will help and the key thing is to take away their treats or toys and never give out empty threats. They never work. I have been on parenting courses to understand this.
Yinnie, are u a parent too? I happen to agree with P.Tan & HeTieShou that each child is different. I’d also like to add that disciplining depends on the age of the child as well. For me, I monitor my child’s behaviour – by age of abt 9 mths he was able to know what can/cannot be done. Example, being curious, he’d want to put his finger into electric socket. First time i realise, i’d remove his finger and said ‘NO’ firmly. Second time, i’d hit gently with a louder ‘NO’. Third time, i’d notice that he’d look around to see if i’m watching before trying & I’d know he can understand what he’s going to do is not allowed, so i’ll hit harder. He’ll cry & after he stop i’ll hug/kiss where i hit him & try to explain as simply as i can that he must not do it again. He never does it anymore.
I know we can put safety device around the hse, but being a working parent i cannot guarantee the babysitter/daycare will have them in place. So i’d rather teach my children forvtheir own safety.
Raymond Wong seems a good father!! I hope there are more fathers to be more active and involve in their children’s life in spending quality time with their kids like Raymond Wong.
My pops slapped me in the head a lot, I don’t know if that falls into the category of spanking, and I feel yes, I feel more disciplined and I don’t have the attitude that I’m owed anything but surely there are better ways to discipline kids.
I’ll never hit my children if I ever get some.
So ladies, if this is a selling point, hit me up. We’ll cut a deal here. You bear my children, and I’ll never hit them!
Win-Win for the both of us!
I love my mum, but at the same time, her parenting has put me off from ever having children. You know how they say if you can’t teach a child, you’re better off not having one? I’d never want to churn out a baby just for the sake of having one – I’d be so scared of making them as unhappy as I was. Heh, I had keys lobbed at me once and I had blood running down my head.
I’m glad to hear Raymond’s being such an active father and trying to set a fine example~
Sorry to hear your mum put you through such punishment. She prolly couldn’t handle the stress of being a mother or facing some problems u don’t know abt. Don’t let that affect yr decision not to have kids, but consider if both u & yr partner are ready to shoulder the responsibility. U can be a good parent even though your own parents weren’t good examples.
Thank you~ Perhaps time will change things. We’ll see.
Love Raymond to pieces!!! Hope he will continue to be popular!