Linda Chung: “There Are Double Standards for Women Cheating in Love!”
*SPOILERS ALERT*
In Yes Sir, Sorry Sir, Moses Chan <點解阿Sir係阿Sir>, Moses Chan (陳豪) cheated on Linda Chung’s (鍾嘉欣)love, upon which he was branded as the “Century’s Most Deplorable Man.” In L’Escargot <缺宅男女>, Linda Chung portrayed the character of “Kwan Ka Lok,” who cheated on boyfriend, Ron Ng (吳卓羲). Linda had an affair with her superior, Michael Tse (謝天華), due to gratitude. Linda’s cheating character in L’Escargot aroused much controversy. In last night’s episode, Linda once again slept with Michael after having a few drinks.
Netizens scolded Linda Chung’s character for acting pitiful to gain sympathy. Netizens counted “Kwan Ka Lok’s” sins as being “lustful, greedy for money, and being a liar,” while crowning her as the “Century’s Most Deplorable Woman.” Netizens even cursed that the character will not have a good end!
Regarding called the “Century’s Most Deplorable Woman,” Linda felt that her character, “Kwan Ka Lok” was very successful. Each character possessed traits that the audience liked and disliked. Linda noticed that the majority of the audience scolded “Kwan Ka Lok” and did not scold Linda herself. Aside from the audience being fully immersed in watching the drama, her colleagues often discussed the plot development as well. The public’s lively reaction to the drama made Linda happy.
Linda commented, “The world is not fair! It is considered normal for a man to cheat in love. However, it is a big deal for a woman to commit any wrongdoing! I am only portraying the character of ‘Kwan Ka Lok.’ Since she acted wrongly, it is normal for people to scold her. In real life, I am not like her.”
Earlier spoilers for L’Escargot revealed that Linda’s character will not have a good ending. She will not reconcile with Ron Ng, instead going to study abroad by herself. Linda said, “For my character, this is a good ending. She can reflect on all the things that happened while studying overseas. She can find her lost direction and path in life again!”
Source: Apple Daily
Jayne: Yes society is still rife with many double standards between men and women. Michael Tse’s character is married and cheating on his wife, yet people did not have much of a reaction towards his cheating? While they keep scolding Linda for cheating on Ron Ng.
double standard for press report too! Why media ignore the numerous complains about Linda crying? The media loves her and will only write positive things
There’s a Chinese phrase that highlight this double standard:
Two-timing men are Casanova (风流) while two timing women as Cheap (下流).
So unfair that men are ‘glamorized’ while women are branded sluts.
I guess it’s because women have been branded or assumed to be tamed, obedient, kind and loyal (for century) to their husbands after they’re married even during the chinese ancient era just like men who can have many wives (in the ancient era) so men are just exceptional even when they’re caught cheating….
Also some ppl may say that because the world is lack of men therefore they’re allowed to have plenty of gfs…
Never understood the big fuss about Linda Chung and never will.
I absolutely agree……if you take a close look at her face, she’s got the ugliest nose possible. Just an average overall appearance. She really can’t act that well either. But I heard she’s an obedient puppy…..you know, the type that sits down with the paws up and can kiss and lick ass to their bosses…..that’s her niche.
At least her nose is natural and lick ass? if she was a suck up then she would be given the “higher” promoted roles Kate Tsui gets but a majority of her works are TVB fill in series
Even Linda doesn’t has a perfect nose like TY, Yang Mi, Viann or even PSS. She’s still prettier than average looking girl. She didn’t crowned MS chinese Int’l for being smarty alone.
As for being an obedient artist in TVB, I thought that’s the way of working since she’s employed by tvb? As for linda kissing asses to climb up to her status..I think her Ms chinese Int’l also helps to push her to fadan’s level since most winners from beauty contest are usually given more priority and chances to eleavate faster than others who came frm acting class.
@Veejay
Judging from the comments on this site, I highly doubt most thinks TY’s new nose is a perfect nose. Even though Linda’s nose is not the prettiest, it’s natural, unlike someone who did something on her nose to make it look even worse.
Besides, Linda is the only one of the 5 fadans with a fresh and natural look, even without a perfect nose. Kate, Myolie and Tavia all double loaded the mascara wand. Fala just looks tired.
@nicole,
I also don’t think TY has a perfect, it was just a sarcasm on her nose since TY did some minor or prolly major enhancement on her nose to look pretty (that’s what she thinks). If you read my statement carefully, I included those who had major transformation there such as PSS and Viann and prolly yang mi (not sure, but I doubt shes 100% natural) too just to reflect that even these artists who had major transformation, linda’s nose is still genuine and pretty imo.
I agree with you that Linda has the natural look but not fresh though cuz she’s been in many series already and she doesn’t any fresh to me. and yah Kate, TY and Myolie does wears ton of mascara haha.. I wonder why TY has to wear them since she has big eyes already and yeah Fala does looks weary, maybe dating Sit is tiring? haha
*I also don’t think TY has a perfect nose*
@Veejay
haha, I didn’t get the sarcasm, because since PSS and Viann did have work done, their work done is actually successful, compared to TY. If comparing TY, need to compare to MJ 😛
I do agree that we see Linda too often on screen to consider it a fresh or new experience. But when I call Linda’s look fresh, I meant it in comparison to Fala’s wilted look. Fala is beautiful, but she looks so tired, she looks like a wilted rose left out in the sun. But she does looks better after her vacation in the US.
Well Tavia did not directly get plastic surgery so of course she doesn’t have the perfect nose. If the rumours are true, then she only got some injections which will fade off. Even plastic surgery will fade in a number of years so you have to get it repaired and updated too…
I don’t think Fala looks that great and her looks and everything else about her are way overrated…
Yeah, TY nose injection only. Still can’t understand what she was thinking was she pressured by 620???
I used to think she among the most beautiful in TVB. Now too much makeup etc etc
Well, if her injections fade off, then she should look better, cos everyone prefer her “before” than her “After”.
Still can’t understand what she was thinking was she pressured by 620???
LMAO @ 620’s power =)). Next time 620 can fly =)).
I think she and mandy wong did a good job in L’escargot. Both managed to pull out their character very well even public scolded them for being despicable hehe.
I think the crying was really ok cuz ppl cry like that too rite?
Married man cheating on love is popular in TVB series so ppl do not care.
Yeah, cause it’s already a fact that Men cheat and it’s so common, so no one finds it abnormal anymore. But a lot of women are starting to cheat too, so why are people going all crazy about Women cheating?
It is such a traditional way of thinking that it is more acceptable for men to cheat than women. Basically, they believe that it is ok for men to have or be with as many women as they want, but it is not ok for a women to have more than one guy(especially at the same time). I think the majority in HK are still very old fashioned and traditional.
” Linda noticed that the majority of the audience scolded “Kwan Ka Lok” and did not scold Linda herself. ”
Uh… Is she blind or is it just the people on this site cause I saw lots of scolding here. Well not really scolding, but complaining and saying bad things about her crying and acting.
During last night’s eps, Linda did look like a “Siu Ste” (as Jim’s wife said) when she was drunk and kissing Jim. I don’t know if it’s her character or her acting, but there’s something I don’t think was done very well. =(
I really like the drama though. I’m in love with it actually.
The part I loved the most from yesterday’s eps was when Michael Miu went to say sorry to his wife with flowers and when his wife said that they should split, Michael’s phone rang. Michael answered it quickly and said: “If it’s not someone dying or houses breaking down (the chinese say meaning if it’s not that big of a deal), then talk about it later!”
Then after that, his wife got really angry and walked into the building and Michael said: “Argh! Darn, but on that side, someone is dying and houses are breaking down!”.
I found that so funny and his character just never changes. I feel really sorry for his wife in the drama.
Thank you FOR THAT SPOILERS!!! I mean like WTH!!!
Anyway good ending for her. But I do agree with the reactions. If there was this girl I will slap her. The wife was right to insult her when she said “At least a GRO knows why she is in the business; for money. You don’t even know and you just destroyed a marriage!” Slap!
Funn,
You sound angry in accidentally reading the spoilers. I forgot to put in “Spoilers Alert” heheh…
Not angry at you but angry at those articles! How the hell they know the ending? TVB got spies!!
Funn,
There are so dozens of production staff involved in the making of the series, from cameramen, assistant scriptwriters, to editing staff. Someone must enjoy earning some side money by leaking TVB spoilers to the weekly tabloids.
they are both at fault, but i think that the reason why i personally dislike linda’s character more is because she refuses to admit that she was wrong. she always blames it on michael, even though its obvious that she has some sorts of feelings for him too
“Michael Tse’s character is married and cheating on his wife, yet people did not have much of a reaction towards his cheating?”
I can answer that. That is because he knows why he is cheating. He is in love/lust/crazy about Linda so he decided to have her as his mistress. Except wrong era man! If in the past can have 2 wives. He simply told his wife I want both. At least I admire his honesty.
As for Linda, she stumbled into being a mistress and she wasn’t even keen on Michael. That’s why everyone scolded her.
I think Jim was spoiled by his wife. She let him have affairs before so he thought “why can’t I keep a mistress?”
But his wife doesn’t look like she’s gonna take this lightly. Everybody better watch out!
As for why people don’t scold MT, I think it’s cuz he has that player look. Would anybody be shocked that he fools around behind his wife’s back?
It’s because MT knows what he’s in for and goes for it! He’s all into having Linda. Unlike Linda who become a homewrecker without any reason and still denying about it? LOL?
Joyce let Michael had affairs even when she knew about them, she did nothing to stop him. You don’t really feel sympathetic to her plight, because she kinda allowed it, which is probably why people are not scolding Michael.
Not that she could stop him. He bluntly told her he wants a mistress. She can either shut up and accept or leave. She chose to stay.
Funn, that was after he already had a long string of affairs. If Joyce didn’t bite the bullet when she first got wind of Michael’s previous affairs, I believe he would have curbed his desires for Ka Lok from the start, if his wife was highly against it. But she let him go wild.
The thing about men is there is always divorce, especially when no children involved.
I think Linda’s character is plain stupid/written badly.
Micheal T helps her out a few times and she “repays” him back by sleeping with him. So if you forgot your wallet a few time and the old store owner says “dont worry about it” are going to sleep with him to pay him back? Its just stupid she could have “repaid” him by paying him monthly or something
And also did Micheal T say “i’ll help you if you sleep with me?” i mean come on! are you that stupid to put yourself on the plate?
I got the impression Ron + Linda were tight and long term – like high school sweethearts + went through hardship together (being poor) thats why it bugs me she slept with MT so easily
Also was it her first time? When she was crying in the shower at first i thought she was rap3d =S
So in summary Linda’s character confuses the hell outa me with the thing she says and does i mean if your going to write a cheating story at least make it have more sense
love joyce tang in that drama, she look so pretty. Like her acting, very versatile.
Agreed. Joyce has small scenes but she grabs every scene she’s in.
arggh! it’s so frustrating watching this drama!! i’m only on episode 17, right when things are getting intense and i hate knowing that linda’s just going to dig herself into a deeper and deeper hole with michael and it just disgusts me with both of their characters…more of michael’s just cause i’ve never liked him hah. but i really wish Ka Lok would just wake up and realize how perfect Dai Ding is!! sad to read the spoilers and know they won’t get their happy ending…
Dai ding is definitely not perfect. He’s just lucky JJ isn’t as fragile as she looks.
I totally agree with you. He isn’t perfect, if he was he wouldn’t have used JJ like that. I can’t believe JJ would still have him knowing how he used her like that.
Sorry, but in my opinion she’s making this character annoying. It’s not so much her character but because of her insufficiency to carry out those scenes where she has to cry.
100% agree with you!
sometimes her voice sounds really whiny too, kind of like a child who drags out words. i noticed it at her very first line in the beginning of the series
Totally agree with all of you.
It’s as if she’s just crying because her job is to cry instead of crying while giving her character some depth. Fail Linda fail.
I can accept and understand cheating and adultery as part of the story line. The character is not written well, but Linda has to take responsibility for her own acting choices. Even if every scene asks her to cry, she does not need to play the character like a victimized frightened rabbit with the IQ of a 15 year old all the time.
Agreed!
I disagree. She is supposed to be innocent, who hasn’t stepped in the wrong foot and her brother was screaming at her and she was scared for disappointing him. Whilst I can’t stand her constant crying, and her character’s choices, I feel she did well even if she overacted in one trembling scene.
I think “ka Lok” is lost in this series, she has unexpectedly fall for Michael Tse despite knowing it’s wrong to become a mistress of a married man.
The most annoying so far is Michael Miu haha, probably because he’s not a gentle guy in this series and I hated him for constantly slapping Linda w/o asking her properly..
We think she has fallen for him. The writer doesn’t want to go there. It doesn’t want to show Michael as villain too. Because reality is he hounded her, and she fell for him because let’s face it, he did a lot for her. But the writer doesn’t want to make her into a villain so shows her unexpectedly ended up with him not really loving him but out of being lost and grateful.
If I were the brother I would have slapped her too for being so stupid.
I agree with Funn Lim, I wasn’t mad at her brother for slapping her. She needs a good wakeup call..
ok but slapping isn’t a way to solve problem atleast for some ppl like Ka Lok.
But MM does his fair share of stupid things too. I loved the restaurant scene when sonija yelled at him and threw water in his face.
There are lots of people like MM in real life. I, myself have dated someone like that for a ver long time…in the end I had to leave him.
@lol
I wonder what will happen if you didn’t leave him?
(maybe ended up having broken nose or bruises?) like how Him assaulted his ex-gf
@Funn
Disagree. She can do stronger acting than this. I don’t feel her pain when she cried and that means she failed to convey her character’s feeling and depth. She’s just crying for the sake of crying. Try compare Linda to Ron when they acted in the same scene and you can see who’s doing a good job and who’s not LOL
You mean *gulp* Ron is a better actor in this series? Seriously? The one expression dude who still has that duck walking syndrome as in head in head out when he talks urgently? I mean I am annoyed by her crying but really?
i think ron did a better job at acting this drama.
I didn’t have any prediction that Linda can act worse than Ron before watching this series but it is happenining in the actual series. Linda is annoying in the crying but wat make me annoyed the most is the way her facial expression is whenever she has somethimg to yell. I first thing her acting is similar to HOG but I thinkI like Sheugh Joi Sum more than Ka Lok as SJS has more character.
But I think she did well in her role as Ka Lok, i could understand your disliking towards her facial expression like she keeps mum or constant crying after she was slapped by Michael for eg.. but that’s what she was told to act, Ka Lok is supposed to look like dat (confused, lose, and sometimes despicable, hehe)
I dun think the role Ka Lok is supposed to have these facial expression. That’s why I think she did a bad job and sometimes, she tried too hard to look innocent. In 2006-2007 her face is that innocent, but not now. She gets mature then I guess she shouldn’t keep these “big puppy eyes” to this. Not suitable anymore.
i actually thought she was fine, i was just pissed of at michael’s character for always bothering her…. everything in this drama is so typical, rons always at the wrong place at the wrong time….
haha, yeah everytime Ron wants to reconcile, the rich Jim is there. Ta daaaa, so lame.
You know, she can say no and move away and just slap Michael and leave. She didn’t, and she used him to exact revenge on Ron and vice versa. Two most immature love fools.
Sheesh, is slapping the solution to every problem?
Jim did help her a lot. Slapping seems ungrateful. How about a break-up text msg?
Text message is worse. Cowardly way. Wanna break up, do it face to face. To ensure no return, slap! Yes, slap! Not a solution but a way to exhibit the finality of a certain thing. Slap! Slap! and walk away. Stylish!
well these days some people don’t even bother to send a msg just unfriend on FB, LOL
It do save you alot of time and the risk of being slapped if the other party is violent e.g. Him Law
In the latest episode 26, I think I saw a bruise on Him’s arm when he was arguing w/ Booking at the new apartment. I wonder if that was when he and theresa fu were physically fighting in real life.
I think people are scolding Linda because it wasn’t make clear that she slept with Jim for gratitude. I was a bit confused too. Then her actions were contradicting, which she was confused that she actually like Jim too. Linda’s character is really complicated but round. I agreed that the public make a big deal that a woman is cheating. There are two characters that are cheating husbands already. Recently TVB has dramas that mentioned at least one man is a cheating husband. Not to mention, in the drama, Jim asked his wife to be understanding of his cheating. I should also be hearding housewives scolding Michael’s character as well.
If I were Joyce Tang and Michael Tse tells me to be more understanding…I think I will divorce him alreadyl…
Well she should understand that he gets bored eating the same food over and over again. It’s only natural for him to try a new food, LOL
But she’d rather destroy him than let Linda have him.
I think because its because JOyce was used to be a famous artist (as claimed by Linda in the beginning episode) and Joyce has lead a comfortable with a loving and handsome husband by her side so with Linda’s appearance in her relationship with Michael, Joyce will do anything just to get rid of Linda so she can continue leading her “siu lai lai” life but that’s too childish of her she thinks like dat cuz most rich guys have mistresses outside cuz they ve too much of money to be spent on..
Veejay, Joyce’s character knows.. Michael’s character cheated all the time. She’s just hoping for her husband to come home and not be fully committed to another relationship. It’s not childish at all for her to think that.
No no, she will destroy HER not him. Anyway she knows of his flings and she is ok since none were serious. When he stopped coming home to sleep or for dinner, as in full time mistress which involves matters of the heart, she is all out angry woman. I can understand her logic.
that’s why I said if i were Joyce, i’d leave Michael since he can’t leave the other woman…
It’s not that simple. She put a lot into their marriage, she was with him before he made his money, and now she has to share him with someone else? I’d go crazy too if I was her. On the hand, Linda definitely has feelings/attractions for Michael, who wouldn’t…he’s rich, powerful and always there to rescue her, it’s not right but I can see it happen. And she loves Ron because of their history together and it’s the right thing to do, is what people expected of her. She wants them both, is it wrong? Yes, but it happens.
yeah but life cannot always be perfect with happily ever after rite? well it also have to depend on ppl, maybe Joyce isn’t someone who can put grudges behind and leave the man she loves, thus leading her to seek whatever she can do to destroy linda..
Oh well, ppl just have to let it go sometimes…
Reality; if mistress got pregnant first, husband will leave wife for mistress, most definitely. I think it is realistic to show the wife not giving up the marriage so easily. Because most wives won’t, either out of love or out of grudge.
maybe I’m different, if i find my husband to be unfaithful to me and he’s freaking rich now..I wouldn’t mind divorcing him and get half of his monies as compensation.
Not sure about the law in HK, however its unheard off that the wife gets half the assets in the case of a divorce. Maybe the law protect the rich or prenup agreement.
I suppose its more safe either way to marry rich since you will most likely get some money out of it. Marry a poor guy can lead to a financial disaster, LOL
It is depends on each case. Common sense is half.
In HK not immediate half. And prenup may not be iron clad.
OH sometimes not abt money but social status. Sometimes maybe a woman can’t give up the social status and revert to a rich nobody.
Funn,
In the trailer for the ‘big ending’, maan wah tells Jim she wants him to lose everything and he stops short of slapping her.
Crazy woman. Next sequel – tie in with Forensic Heroes as Man Wah is murdered and guess who did it.
As someone who is not watching, this drama sounds like a franchise of Heart of Greed and Moonlight Resonance based on the comments and spoilers from compiled news on Jaynestars alone..heh
The big difference is this family is poor.
In HoG and MR, it’s “mo’ money, mo’ problems”.
In L’escargot, it’s no money, even more problems.
Haha..I thought it that way because of the over-dramatic situations and “slaps”..haha
Actually, you’re right. The series is kinda like ‘slap city’.
No no not franchise. Thank god no clapping of hands or such nonsense. It is sorta realistic.
i didn’t watch this. is it worth watching?
Yes
Not bad. Pike it more than Getto.
I actually dislike both Linda and Michael’s characters. I feel so bad for Joyce!
never like linda chung, she’s always protrayed herself as the weak woman that needs protection from man. i’ve not watched this drama but what’s the big deal if a woman cheats? it’s quite common that women these days cheat too.
Funny is only her face seems weak that requires men to protect her but not her body though.. Linda has a body that is taller and bigger than a man sometimes.. Like when she was standing besides Michael, it make mIchael looks so thin haha.
Besides face, her build is like Wu Zun too 😛
I think Wu Chun looks more fragile/softer than Linda in some angles.
Once again HONG KONG people moaning!!!
I like this drama because it’s more realistic. I wouldn’t say MM family is poor, they are a typical blue collar family trying to buy a house in an over priced market. It’s a great example of what’s going on in the world today. The super rich are still super rich and has endless opportunities to be even more rich and the working class will forever be chasing dreams, even more so in this current economy.
yeah I wonder what went wrong?????!! seriously, I hope I have endless money to spend but I just have to work hard to wait for my month end salary (sad)
Solution: find a job which will give salary in the middle of the month. Ok kidfing
For some reason I really like Michael tse’s character in this series. I like the scenes of him and Linda…
Me too….Every man rich, powerful/politician men cheat…In this series he loves her since he 1st met her. If he doesn’t have feeling for her he would not have helped her from time to time.
I like their scenes too, apart from Linda’s very unsure feelings for him. She likes him less than Ron but still she is trying to hide her feelings.
me too. I think Linda looks better with older guys.
Going abroad? Txb. Linda’s acting is reason why her chac is annoying. Really reminds me of HOG. Oh yeah I think she can do better. Can’t blv tat I think Ron can act better than her here. But thank to JJ, Linda looks less bad. Uhm but JJ is more pretty in my opinion. If I Dai Jing, I will give Ka Lok a slap.
Agreed so much! Ron’s acting is better than Linda here. Can’t compare Linda to JJ because JJ hasn’t acted much.
In a way of thinking, it is pathetic to Linda
@Fox
by pathetic, you mean what?
Ron improved but not too good in LE and Linda is still under him
It’s glaring when Ron and Linda act together that Ron is better LOL
Something about Linda’s acting is lacking and not just the character made me want to slap her. If we blame the character only why I don’t feel Mandy’s acting is annoying? Mandy’s character is extra troublemaker than Linda’s ROFL!
I feel pity to Oscar
LOL Oscar and Mandy 😛
@Fox, why you’re pitying Oscar? Because he has an annoying wife? Haha
i pity the baby!
cuz Mandy didn’t seems to show any side of motherly affection towards the Bb…she’s like ignoring the baby’s existence..poor bb.
His face looks pitiful.
Adultery whether committed by a a male or female is inappropriate if the person committing adultery already has a partner. If there is an “open” relationship, it might be “OK” but truthfully, human beings possess the instinctive emotion of being jealous. Both the male and female character should be chastised equally for having a relationship behind their partners’ back. Like in all relationships, the perpetrators always plan and hope that they will get away with it and no one will know or find out. Reality is what goes around comes around. It is just a matter of time when their inappropriate rendevous will surface for all to know. Then all hell will break loose ruining reputations, occupational, familial or romantic relationships, etc. Well, the old idiom if you choose to play Russian roulette, be prepared to pay the ultimate price.
Aptos,
“Like in all relationships, the perpetrators always plan and hope that they will get away with it and no one will know or find out.”
Everyone has temptation and may be attracted to other people while in a committed relationship. However, despite temptation doesn’t mean you act upon it. Sometimes if the couple has some outstanding issues in the relationship may make the temptation stronger.
The people who cheat in a relationship may subconsciously fall into behavioral patterns that push them closer to cheating. While they are not happy in the relationship, they may give in to a moment of passion. The person the cheater is sleeping with offers the moment of respite, away from the problems of the steady relationship.
It would be simpler if the cheaters can decide how they want to handle their troubled relationship. It appears that the good aspects of the relationship still outweight the negative, otherwise, they can just quit the relationship and no need to drag a 3rd party in. The cheater doesn’t know how handle the troubled relationship and use sex with a 3rd party to make himself/herself happier. Irresponsible and selfish in my opinion.
If a person is not happy in a relationship, end it before cheating with someone else. If they cannot commit to one person, then date casually and do not get married.
I think that a cheater using sexual gratification to satisfy himself/herself while in a troubled, unhappy relationship is selfish. Instead of trying to work harder in the relationship to resolve conflicts, they resort to seek self-pleasure. However, the cheater still wants it all for himself/herself: the physical pleasure while still latching on to the security of a known partner in the committed relationship.
Subconsciously, the cheater may also be cheating in an attempt to hurt their long-standing partner in the troubled relationship. It may be: “You hurt me, I’ll hurt you back!” Anyhow, cheating in a relationship is no doubt selfish.
A question, same as Joyce’s scenario. Say your husband cheats but those are flings. He always comes home, always there, but he fools around, discreetly. Then one day he actually buys a woman a house, comes home lesser, gets himself a full time mistress, even falls for her but will not divorce you, wants to have both.
As a wife, in either situation how will you react?
In Joyce’s case, in the former she pretends not to know. But when it became the latter, when he actually falls for another girl, all hell broke lose since it is no longer just a fling.
Funn,
In a committed relationship, you are not free to do whatever you choose, whatever you want. There are repercussions. A spouse coming home to say, “I can’t choose between my lover and you. I want both?” Am I supposed to be flattered that he still loves me? Should I stay because there are still feelings left?
Essentially you are asking whether repeated cheating should be tolerated. Even if he always comes home, be fiscally responsible towards the family, he is a repeated emotional cheater and thus continuously violating marriage commitments.
There are couples who have such open relationships, where both partners are okay to seek flings on the side. They play but they still come home. Some may say it’s just physical gratification, while they are still emotionally attached to their spouses and they are still “responsible” towards the family.
Personally, I would be unable to tolerate a marriage where there is repeated cheating and lying (if the affairs are secretive) or in the open. It is intentional hurt and disrespectful. IMO, only the shells of the relationship are left if mutual respect and commitment are missing.
Then there are some women who may tolerate such repeated cheating because emotionally and financially, they still need their husband. People are afraid to be alone, afraid of leaving a spouse (however unfaithful) because they are afraid to walk, afraid of being off by themselves. Perhaps a shell of a marriage is better than no marriage at all? They are afraid they will not find a partner again, or that their next partner will be a cheat anyway. If such “practicality” or pessism rule, then perhaps the person will continue to tolerate cheating in a marriage.
It boils down to what the person expects and needs primarily in a marriage. Does financial security outweigh other factors? Are there kids? Are the spouses together primarily for practical reasons (kids, money, they’ve been together for so long they can’t imagine being married to someone else, etc.)? Or someone you can trust, care about your feelings, and do things taking into your overall welfare into account more important?
@ Funn
I think the most popular answer to your question is just leave, take the money, and start your life over.
I don’t think the answer is that easy because if you truly love the man or spent your life building a home with that person, it takes a strong will to let go.
I can see one reaction might be thinking that this is just an extended fling and wait it out.
If the women chooses to stay with the the man, some might even ask themselves how does this really physically affect my life – if they are discreet, do nothing to embarrass me, and she knows her man will always have someone on the side, why not one that knows their place as mistress? It would be far worse to have a dramatic, flaunty, aggressive mistress.
There is route of revenge, which may be to take down the mistress. If the wife is smart she might take down the husband too in a way that would not affect her directly but most households are tied and twisted together in ways that are bound to affect one another.
I think this is that sort of dilemma faced mostly by footballers’ wives. Of course rich or super rich also have the same problem. I am not in their position of having enjoyed immense wealth and immense social status but I can understand the reluctance to leave, whether for children or for oneself. I suppose if you don’t leave then you have no right to start complaining of his behaviour, after all you condoned him. You let him be. I think it is naive to think a man of such immense wealth to stay faithful, there must be some cheating at some point. But like Joyce, I suppose the treshold for any wife of her status and the fact she invested so much in that marriage is when your husband starts to fall for another girl. Sex is sex, but when sex becomes love, I understand why that is the treshold that should not be crossed. Like play all you want, but know when to come home.
Frankly I don’t think I can take that sort of insult from my husband. This is not the ancient times where polygamy is expected. I suppose I will take the money, make sure all my financial affairs is well taken care of and leave. Life is much too short for such humiliation. But are you ready to forgive and forget if he is willing to come home?
Funn,
“But are you ready to forgive and forget if he is willing to come home?”
That’s a difficult question to answer. It depends on how much repeated cheating he has done. If there is repeated violation of past trust, where forgiveness may have been granted, it may get to the point where you no longer have trust in that person. If you are wary of your partner and do not even have basic trust, then it will be a difficult marriage to uphold. Even if the spouse intends to forget, it is truly difficult to forgive and let go. Trust that was once violated is very difficult to be gained back.
Funn,
In the scenario of the women married to cheating rich men who continue to turn a “blind eye,” obviously financial security and materialistic priorities come first. Perhaps the women had chosen to marry the men because of their financial priorities to begin with, thus their materialistic requirements are much stronger. When used to a certain higher materialistic standard of living, it is very difficult to revert back to plain simple living. Especially if you feel as if there is still a choice in picking the more extravagant life versus the plain life, most people will pick the former.
In this sense, the shackles of marriage are self-chosen. The woman chose to attach great importance to the material comforts offered in the marriage, thus she is willing to tolerate repeated cheating. Money reigns higher than other values in life, such as her willingness to barter material comfort over a mutually respectful marriage, where the partners will not intentionally hurt each other.
If a relationships/marriage causes you to compromise important personal values, it is time to question whether that relationship should be continued. Love doesn’t mean everything…even if there is still love in the relationship, sometimes you know that it is not a healthy one. The spouse may repeatedly cheat, basking on the confidence that you will not leave him because of emotional or financial dependence. A relationship that causes you to lose your own respect is not worth it.
Whether it is money or something else, such as kids, there is usually one or two important drivers making the person stay in a troubled marriage. Divorce is scary. People generally do not want to be alone after being in a long committed relationship/ marriage. Divorce is truly a life changing event. It forces you to grow stronger, to make decisions on your own, to find ways to support yourself and your kids during times when you feel there is no one else to help you. Some people can’t handle this; they do not want to be emotionally and financially alone. They’ll rather deal with the baggage in the troubled relationship rather than be on their own and start again in life.
I feel that its Linda’s acting choice rather than the simply the character because I am watching L’Escargot on the heels of finishing When Heaven Burns, which shows Charmaine as a character who exists in pain, selfishness, and cheated on her husband.
Not a second that I felt Charmaine’s Yan/Hazel was a victim but I can understand and follow her journey into alcoholism and depravity. I also felt her pain and conflict – she never acted apologetic for selfish behavior and her character owned up to her faults.
Linda is saddled with a character who never claims responsibility for herself. It is also mentioned in another forum that her character Ka Lok grew up in lower/middle class urban neighborhood so it is quite unbelievable how sheltered she is, there has got to be moments where her brothers were not around (the age difference precludes any possibility the brothers were protectors for her at school), and she had to earn her way through college.
Linda chooses to showcase Ka Lok as nervous, unprofessional (the time she starts crying during a meeting and walks out in the middle with Jim running after her – Linda could have chosen to bite her lips to hold back the tears or to look blankly/distracted the whole time). She tried to display “consumed with guilt” by constantly crying and jumping at every sound and begging Dai Ding (to marry her, to forgive her).
Not saying this is not hard character to play, I don’t think Linda is doing her best. I really felt her guilt and remorse in A Journey Called Life. I respected her unapologetic coldness and sluttiness when she slept with Moses character for revenge in Gem of Life.
I just wish I see her play a stronger personality.
Agree!
If people wonder why there is a double standard, you need only to go back in history. Of course, it was Euro history I studied, but the same double standard exists there as well.
You see, back in those days, family was critical as the MALE child would often inherit the family fortune / lands / wealth. Therefor it was CRITICAL that the husband KNOW that the child his wife was carrying was HIS.
That is why women HAD to be pure and chaste, because the women carried the future of the household! If she cheated or lay with another man, how can you be sure the child is the husbands? How can you know that all the land/wealth/etc would stay in the family? you didn’t.
For a man to cheat on his wife was nothing… if he got another woman pregnant it didn’t matter.
it’s unfair, I know, but that is one reason for the stigmatism that exists today. Back then, the purity of the woman is required in order to maintain the order of the house.
a lot of women are richer than their husbands nowadays
Oh I agree… I was just presenting one of the theories behind why this double-standard exists.
double standards.. and we dare say we live in the 21st century
People are complaining about Linda’s crying but it doesn’t bother me as much as all the “face slapping” that is going on in this series! To me, slapping someone in the face is disgraceful and demeaning. Is it a normal Asian thing – to “slap some sense into someone”! I was enjoying the series early on but now the storyline is a bit excentric — is Da Ding really making that much money on commission that he can plunk down cash to buy that expensive house with a pool? Plus the revenge thing is so silly — Ron’s character needs to GROW UP. Guess I am the only one rooting for MM’s wife to leave her husband cuz she definitely deserves better. The “big man” thing is getting old.
Jayne,if Linda character is a Tibetan or Eskimo women ,this is accepted in the society when women are allow to have more than one husband ,however she is Chinese and in chinese culture male are active race while female is passive race ,Michael is rich in the serial and he can sleep with other women unless his wife sue him .
Cheating is cheating regardless of male or female. I wouldn’t want to share my partner either physically or emotionally.
the latest news today said Linda becomes laughing stock in the series
More like slapping stock, already received 3 and counting…
Did anyone count how many total slapping already? LOL linda can win Most Slapped Charcter
Slap…
errr… by Michael (Miu) 2 slaps
To Ron 1 slap
To Michael Tse 1 slap (I think-or maybe no yet)
By Joyce 1 slap
By Sonija to Michael Miu 1 slap plus 1 water splashing on face
By Oscar to Mandy 1 slap
By Michael Miu to daughter slap on bottom (several times – the most by any one cast member to another!)
That’s about it. I am sure there will be at least 2 more slaps reserved for ending between Oscar and Mandy.
LOL can play drinking game.
Swig of beer each time someone gets slapped.
Don’t forget MM’s mom slap.
Yes, mom slapped MM 1
Let’s predict.
MM slap Oscar 1
Oscar slap mandy was 1 plus 1 more time at least
I predict Jim will get the slap trifecta: 1 by the wife, 1 by the mistress, and 1 by the yee por.
LOL I lost the slap counts. Too many!
That means most face slap got by Linda and most other parts slap got by MM daughter? ROFL
Where? What? Why?
New Question – what do you all think about Man Wah’s decision to have a baby to tie the family back together?
I personally think it is a terrible idea to use a child as a tool.
I think she is hopeful and the child is something they both want anyway.
I know many real life women who plan to have a baby to keep their husbands tethered to their side. Personally, I feel like it is a selfish decision to bring a child into a household that is on brink of divorce. Also does not stop the husband from continuing affairs. How can they explain to the child where dad goes off to, why mom is upset again?
Smurf,
Agree that children should not be pulled into a couple’s relationship on the brink of divorce. Cheating is a sign of selfishness since it is an intended hurtful action towards the other spouse while satisfying oneself. If the man is already cheating and having affairs in a troubled marriage, it already shows his selfish side to his spouse. There may be a correlation that the man may be a somewhat selfish parent as well.
The child might keep the couple together in the marriage in the short term. But if cheating is an irresponsible and selfish behavior, a woman’s last resort to have children to make the man stay (while appealing to his responsibility as a father) is ironic. IMO, it will not work and just make the children have an unhappy childhood growing up in a household of arguing parents.
However, if the woman’s goal is to have a child because she wants to deflect her love on someone else, or be prepared for the marriage inevitably ending, that’s different.
WHATT?! I wanted Ron and Linda back together :'(
Dai ding is not only dumb, but also clumsy. I felt sorry for his stunt double.
I do not like Linda character, also she is not pretty, I can say I am more pretty than her and I’m not an actress, LOL!
Anyways, the first time she sleep with Michael was when she heard about his airplane accident, OK, mistake number one, let it passed.
But then she sleep with him second time, mistake number two when she was drunk, and then she initiate kissing Michael and sleep with him.
Come on, if it bother her that much first time sleep with him, why do it second time?
Anyways, don’t like her character.
But good thing is she can cry, she cry better than Niki Chow in that series with Raymond Wong. Niki crying seem so force, bad crying skills.