Grace Chan’s Son is Going Through the “Terrible Twos”
Kevin Cheng (鄭嘉穎) and Grace Chan (陳凱琳) have their hands full parenting their two sons, 2-year-old Rafael and 11-month-old Yannick. With Rafael entering his terrible twos and his rebellious personality emerging, Grace would sometimes feel exasperated and Kevin would have to take on the role of the strict dad.
“Rafael refused to wear a mask when we were going out one day. So we didn’t go out, and then he immediately put it on. He knows how to read the room,” Grace revealed.
She continued to share that Kevin actually plays the bad cop at home. “When we were getting out of the car in the parking lot, Rafael wanted to run around. His dad immediately yelled at him, making him the bad guy. When he is yelling, I would just stand quietly next to him, but sometimes I would join in. We just want to be consistent.”
With Rafael already in nursery school, it is time for Grace to start thinking about locating a suitable school when he starts kindergarten. Reflecting on her own experiences while growing up in Canada, Grace feels that the Chinese language in not her strength. She hopes Rafael can enter a local school so that his Chinese skills are stronger, and eventually learn to take the school bus so he can be more independent.
With two boys at home, does Grace wish to chase after a daughter? She believes that two sons are perfect for now, especially with Rafael heading into his rebellious stage, and does not want to think about having another child right now.
Celebrating Father’s Day on Sunday, the family took a staycation. To make it more fun for their sons, Grace set up a tent inside their room so the boys can have an indoor camping experience. Rafael also learned a new song at nursery school and sang it to Kevin.
When asked if Grace prepared any gifts, she said, “I prepared a gift for my own dad. I wanted to buy a wallet for him last time we went shopping, but he said it was too expensive. When I went home, my mom told me that he really liked the wallet so I caught the hint and got it for him anyway. He doesn’t want his kids to spend money on them, but he also enjoys [the gift].”
This article is written by Hailey for JayneStars.com.
@Fellow Parents, be real with me. How bad are the Terrible Twos?
@coralie Mine was, he’s more terrible now that’s he 8 haha. It varies between the kids…
Great for Kevin and Grace though…not raising them to be “privileged”.
@exodus
I did not know you already had kids… I only have nephews and boy are they a handful…
@exodus ;____; it sounds like it’s all downhill from here.
@coralie usually starts at 1.5 lol and drags on and on and on… (Depends on the kid but till about 4 or 5)
@kuks yikes my kid’s almost 2… Can already feel the meltdowns coming for me
@coralie Threenagers (3 year olds) were worse for me. But overall, it’s not that terrible. I miss that cute age.
@potatochip ugh, not looking forward to it.
@coralie They are so lovable at this age though. Watching them discover the world is so fun.
I do enjoy the humor of these tantrums sometimes. In some of the mom’s group, a fun thread would be, “Why is my toddler crying?”
Here are some examples:
“I peeled his banana for him because he asked me to”
“Because there wasn’t any room for her to sit on the toilet seat where I was sitting”
“Because I wouldn’t let him put cream cheese on his peni$. (I explained cream cheese is for our bagels, not our peni$)”
@potatochip where do you go to join mommy groups/playdates? It’s true sometimes I’m obsessed with my kid, but other times, I just want a break. I have a pic of her having a meltdown in public because she wanted to sit on her grandma’s lap than on me -.-
@coralie I find it hard to hang out with other moms with my kids and my work. Occasionally, I go with my old friends. I am a natural introvert, so it’s hard for me to make new friends.
But online, there are Facebook mom’s groups with shared interests. Those are fun but can be big time wasters.
It’s a tricky balance but somehow works. I do have my husband or parents watch the kids so I can hang with my friends by myself.
@coralie It really depends on your child’s personality as to how the terrible twos are. This is a time when they are really curious to explore the world, and they usually have fits because of lack of stimulation or too much of it.
Each child needs a different amount of stimulation and exercise, but I found short play dates with other moms to be really helpful for early toddlerhood. It made my daughter and myself happier so we could enjoy this special stage together.
Watching his/her energy levels throughout the day helps to avoid meltdowns during tired afternoons (such as a missed nap) or too late bedtime.
If the child is more verbally expressive and developed linguistically, then explaining things can help.
Consistency sets up predictable patterns that helps your child learn acceptable behaviors. If there are multiple caregivers, then try to be on the same page.
Punishment and yelling may get temporary results, but usually make the child’s emotions even more intense so they become harder to deal with as the child gets older.
I think the terrible twos are magnified because parents are often too tired to deal with the situation properly (especially in a public place), or too rigid in their expectations of what is acceptable/ unacceptable 2-year-old behavior. At the end of the day, definitely leave time for yourself to recharge so you can deal with anything that may come up with more patience and love.
I agree with all of the above of what Jayne mentioned. My son didn’t really have bad toddler years for me, as a matter of fact, I really enjoyed those years. They are so cute at that age, fun, and you can see their growth in learning. My son was always more mature than his age. So, it was more about managing expectations and explaining things to him so he understood. I find him harder to deal with and cooperate with now (at age 9)… I’ll take toddler years over 9 yrs old any day… and I missed him at that age. 🙂
@jayne thanks for the advice, Jayne. Did you join any online mommy groups to plan out playdates? I recently moved to a new area and don’t know anyone close to me with kids, so my kid’s been going to daycare for social enrichment. still, I would like to organize playdates at home if possible, but don’t seem to know any available mom/babies.
@coralie You can reach out to some kids in your daughter’s class to organize a weekend playdate. When my daughter was younger, I picked some kids who have complementary personalities with her so they would get along better on play dates. If you only have one kid, play dates are really invaluable because the kids can play at a level that they find to be more satisfying than with an adult.
Your local library may have children’s events where you can meet other moms and you can follow up with your own playdate. You can also check Facebook and find a local mommy group to join.
@coralie pretty much what everyone said, but overtime you will learn what set them off. Sometimes it’s as unreasonable as you are trying help her cutting up the meat so she can feed herself (yup, you guess it, it’s my daughter lol), so it’s not like you stopping her from feeding herself, but she doesn’t understand so she would tantrum. So if your kid like mine, first thing she does would be no no no! Following by throwing everything off the table to show her anger (because she can’t express herself well), so move all the food, and everything out of her reach. Then let her have her scream n cry. Once she calmed down, ask if she wants the food back, because she would most likely go for round 2 of no no and throw everything off and hitting you lol. Could go round 3, depends on how much energy she has lawl!
As much as you can watch for her tired sign and try to not have the meltdown during those times where everyone is tired, it’ll happen more than you want to. Especially during the transition period of cutting her nap, it’s unavoidable, key thing is being consistent, and know it’ll end, it won’t last more than a few months. There will be relapse, and up and down, but it’ll be less.
And like potato said, teenagers are worst! During these times, they are cute and as they grow older, it’s harder in some aspect and you would look back and think how easy this is lol.
@littlefish hahaha funny you mentioned that, she’s been throwing stuff on the ground a lot these days and no is her favorite word. I usually warn her with “do you want time out?” And she stops. But maybe I should try verbalizing her frustration, so she can learn how to express herself verbally instead of throwing stuff. Sometimes her meltdowns are cute, majority of the time, though, it’s just exhausting. But I still enjoy her expressing her frustrations (sometimes.)
I’m not looking forward to her teenage years and all the rebellious streaks they go through.
@coralie haha yea, should do both. Verbalise her frustration and remind her of the boundaries. Those reminders help settling her mood as well, so it’s not a bad thing. And yes, the tantrums are cute xD I still laugh every time she tantrums because my daughter would throw herself across the ground, face down, but then she just lay there quietly xD not screaming, not crying, just throw herself down there lol.
@coralie Most can be very tiresome but not all are so. I remember when I had to first discipline my son, he was 2…
@hohliu I had to do that to my kid at 1.5. Time outs.
@coralie Lol, I remember waking up one morning to find a full tub of sudocream spread on half his head, face and body…it was perfectly halved. I still have the photo on my desk….That was over 14yrs ago… LOL
@hohliu that’s super cute
@coralie mine turned two last month and it seemed like a switch turned on. Everyday at least one meltdown about something. She’s really testing her boundaries and the word ‘no’
@pinky oh god, my kid’s turning 2 in one month *gulp*… I really hope a switch doesn’t go off on her!!
TBH, terrible 2s are nothing compared to them reaching theiir teens… That is a whole new level of stess…
i found out teenagers are worse than terrible twos. It is a whole new level of stress, I will miss the toodler stage where they are more obedient 🙂
@sutet108 Me too!!! Terrible twos were a walk in the park for me…At least they made me laugh. Teens gave me headache..
@hohliu haha yea. I always laugh when my daughter throw a tantrum, super adorable
@littlefish I remember having to be firm with my very active son who was fearless thus he gets into lots of trouble… I laugh inside my head but on my face, I had to teach him boundaries thus I had a firm face…. I enjoy those days…Now that boy is 16yrs. Him in his teens is stressful as he is very strong minded…
@hohliu haha yea, I know I’ll have a hard time with my daughter since she has such strong will. But in the other hands, she’s so hand on on everything unlike my first son lol. Didn’t think I spoiled him that much but I guess the perks/the usual first child thing (after talking to a few parents lol)
@littlefish My son is the only child…he forgets we are not his friends sometimes… And he needs to be reminded to respect us as his parents…
What a beautiful family. And super cute kids. They are genetically blessed with good looking parents!
@gnomageddon
Genes are mysterious.. You can have average looking parents but good looking kids and vice versa.