Episodic Thoughts: “Three Kingdoms RPG” (Episode 17)

Three Kingdoms RPG <回到三國>
TVB Series 2012

Cast: Kenneth Ma, Raymond Lam, Tavia Yeung, Sharon Chan, Ruco Chan, Kaki Leung, Joseph Lee, Savio Tsang, Jimmy Au, Law Lok Lam, and Ha Yu.

Disclaimer

This is a watch as I write episodic thoughts and some information may not be accurate since this is memory based. Certain dialogue is reproduced with some creative license adopted. I apologise if there is any mistake. All opinion remains my own.

EPISODE 17

“ENOUGH YOU OLD FOOLS!! Enough with the questions. My decision is final. I will form an alliance with Lau Bei and …if anyone wishes to oppose my decision…you will suffer the same fate as this table!”

Not sure what to say about this episode. If Lau Bei is alive, he would certainly sue TVB for slander. Anyway whilst Episode 16 gives us a hint of the greatness of Zhou Yu, Episode 17 is like a lesson to Ron Ng; always be careful who you marry unless you wish to end up like Zhou Yu in Episode 17. And it is funny that Sun Quan is half the age of Lau Bei but double the man that he is. And yes ZGL has something to contribute, that is again fed by his wife Yuet Ying. Back to square 1 everyone.

And before my recap starts, I would like to apologise for the brevity. I didn’t make notes as I was busy eating my noodles so the dialogue is lesser today.

Recap.

Still no sign of an alliance but Zhou Yu would like to visit Jiangxi to check out the people and conditions there. So he went with Lu Su and funnily, did Lau Bei just tookover as Lord of Jiangxi? Because shouldn’t Lau Kei show up and welcome Zhou Yu? Anyway Zhou Yu could see conditions are bad but everyone is happy and everybody, absolutely everybody sees ZGL and goes bonkers like “ZGL you’re great” and like having his own personal cheerleaders following him with children told of tales of Bok Mong Slope and wanting to be just like ZGL and I was like only 1 Bok Mong Slope! And moreover isn’t this a bit too much? Anyway Zhou Yu is uncomfortable when he is introduced and every children goes “Who is he? Never heard of him before!” and Shun sincerely asks “Have commander any great tales of battle to share with us all?” and Zhou Yu has to admit “Dong Wu has been peaceful for a very long time, I haven’t been in a battle for a long time” and he looks even more uncomfortable.

However during reception with Lau Bei who is especially accommodating, Zhou Yu enjoys the attention and respect he craves when Lau Bei flatters him in part because he really wants the alliance when they heard some commotion and goes out and sees what Shun calls a sok lui handing out rice and it is Xiao Qiao, wife of Zhou Yu. However Xiao Qiao looks uncomfortable handing out the rice, refusing to touch the poor dirty people and making faces until she sees her husband and turns on her charm.

Pause.

Has there ever been a worst casting decision other than Kevin Cheng as Ip Man? Yes, Sharon Chan as the most beautiful woman in the land. She is dressed nicely, looking feminine but she looks more “hau por” than ladylike and I guess it is deliberate. Because you see she is darn spoilt.

Continue.

Dinner at night, Xiao Qiao could play the most beautiful piano with her husband, Zhou Yu could fight very well against Cheung Fei as Shun and men marvel at Xiao Qiao’s beauty whilst everyone compliments them and also make innocent comparisons with ZGL as Shun I believe says “Both are great advisers, a credit to their masters!” and ZGL says “I am none of that. Compared to Commander Zhou, I can’t even play the piano or know martial arts, all I know are books as translated by my wife” and Yuet Ying is there, smiling gently but Zhou Yu doesn’t appreciate the comparison. Food time and Xiao Qiao refuses to eat the food as she is not used to such simplistic food. At night, Shun sees Zhou Yu personally cooking for his wife with his own chef and even brought his own stuff, expensive seafood. Very spoilt woman, overindulged by husband.

Then they heard Xiao Qiao scolding someone and it is Song Yau who got scolded for daring to clean the room which Xiao Qiao does not appreciate and keeps on scolding until Shun says “My lady, she doesn’t mean to offend you” and Xiao Qiao makes it clear who is master as in guest and who is servant and Zhou Yu gently tells the wife to let it be although I doubt she cares what Zhou Yu says. Song Yau goes away with tears. Shun pretends not to look at a clearly embarrassed Zhou Yu who tries to look away from Shun’s gaze.

Next day whilst meeting Xiao Qiao rushes in and says her bracelet is lost. Lau Bei says he can make a new one but she says it was a gift by her late mom. Zhou Yu couldn’t control his wife who embarrasses him and herself with her conduct and when she sees Song Yau she accuses Song Yau of stealing. Lau Bei says “Song Yau has been here a long time, she wouldn’t do that” but without much conviction. Song Yau tearfully says “I swear I didn’t” as Shun says “My lady, have you checked your room carefully? Don’t simply accuse people” as even Zhou Yu advises his wife, meekly to re check her room but the wife demands “Check her room! She surely stole my bracelet. Look at her, she is a servant, who wouldn’t be tempted?!” and this time Song Yau is tearful as Lau Bei looks at Song Yau, wanting to smooth things over and ends up looking like a weak old fool (Lau Bei, rise from your grave and sue TVB!!) says “Song Yau, let her check your room” and Song Yau shocked says “Master, you.. don’t believe me?”

Pause

Yeah! Stupid Lau Bei. He is displaying all the qualities that answers why Cao Cao must conquer over him. Not a shred of decency.

Continue.

Old lady rushes in and says she got the bracelet which she found in the bag of rice that Xiao Qiao packed yesterday and Shun says loudly “Oh!!!!! There! Simply accusing people when you’re the one who made the mistake!” when Xiao Qiao says loudly “Who can be sure that this maid didn’t conspire with that old lady? I still had the bracelet last night! She must have stolen it still!!!”

Stupid woman. And Zhou Yu, another character assassination by TVB remains quiet.

ZGL stands up and says “Allow me to say a few things. My lady, you said you still had the bracelet last night? But when you played the piano, your playing was light and beautiful. You couldn’t have worn the bracelet which would weigh down your playing. You definitely lost it before the night” and Shun says “Yeah, why don’t you try playing now and see the difference?” and Guan Yu says “Brother, you must investigate thoroughly if not an innocent will be wrongly accused” and knowing she lost, Xiao Qiao rushes away with a huge temper and Zhou Yu looking like a total idiot.

What an embarrassing wife. I know he loves her, is incredibly proud he married such a beautiful woman but clearly that woman is.. well let Shun explain it.

Song Yau in tears in the garden and Shun comes up to her and says gently “Don’t be upset over that crazy woman. Yeah she is crazy. But then she is also sick” and Song Yau says “Sick?” and Shun says “Yeah. In my village we call it “princess illness”. Temperamental, materialistic, arrogant, egoistical, spoilt, unmanageable, stupid, foolish.. ” and he names a whole lot of qualities with princess illness and finally he says “If I could marry her I will be willing to die a few years earlier” and Song Yau like myself goes “Huh?” as Shun says “I mean with a wife like that I do rather die faster than to suffer!” and Song Yau smiles and here Zhou Yu walks by and he overhears as Shun continues “I mean how can my idol like ZGL who is so like Zhou Yu and yet ending up marrying very different women? Look at Adviser Zhuge, he married such a sensible good wife but Zhou Yu, who probably married that woman because she is pretty, I mean such a shallow choice you know..” and let’s just say Zhou Yu isn’t too pleased with what he heard. I know Shun is being so careless but he is right.

Zhou Yu decides to leave earlier after having seen what he has seen and he asks his assistant what are those documents on the table and he answers they’re from ZGL, the translated books for Zhou Yu’s reference. Zhou Yu asks are they good and tells him to be truthful and assistant says they’re very good, very beneficial and Zhou Yu arrogantly says “If that is the case, stay here and serve ZGL then if he is do damn great!” and assistant panics as Zhou Yu says “I am better than  that ZGL. Who are they all to compare me with that nobody? I have been the commander for so many years and who is ZGL, some hillbilly from  nowhere, to be compared with me?! Between us there can only be one adviser and it will be me!”

ZGL asks Lu Su about the alliance and Lu Su shakes his head and ZGL says “But all things were good. What happened? Did I offend him unknowingly? Please tell me adviser Lu so that I may remedy this” as Lu Su says “All I can say is this is a case of jealousy amongst scholars, very difficult to remedy”

ZGL is in despair as he says to his wife “I could handle him if he is a military man but as he is a scholar like I, jealousy is something I can’t solve” as wife says “Maybe there is a way..” and takes out a poem.

ZGL meets with Zhou Yu and tells Zhou Yu of a rumour that Cao Cao built a huge golden bird cage to imprison what would be his 2 most prized “birds”, the 2 most beautiful maidens in the land and he recites a poem that Zhou Yu doesn’t know and Zhou Yu realises by some clues that the poem is about his wife and her equally beautiful sister and ZGL implies if Cao Cao wins, he will capture his wife and imprison her in his golden cage. Zhou Yu is angry and vows to beat Cao Cao.

And indeed, when he returned to Chai Sang and advises Sun Quan they must prepare for war against Cao Cao much to Lu Su’s relief and then Sun Quan says yes to the alliance but Zhou Yu says “I don’t recommend the alliance. We are stronger than Cao Cao, we can withstand his attacks. Who is Lau Bei and his miserable old weak soldiers? They’re nobodies. This is an alliance we do not need”

And so no alliance.

Zhou Yu gathers more army whilst Lau Bei panics and orders that the non-alliance must not leak out to Cao Cao but ZGL says “No, let Cao Cao know”

Cao Cao’s camp, Cao Cao finds out and prepares to fight Lau Bei which Hon agrees but Man Yeuk says “No my lord! This is not the time to send an army against Lau Bei, we must instead beware of Sun Quan” and Cao Cao goes “That useless partying king? Why should I be wary of him?” as Man Yeuk says “Because he is preparing himself with more army. Lau Bei is small fry, if we are engaged in battle with Lau Bei, Sun Quan might take advantage of our hectic situation. Let’s be wary of Sun Quan”

and so ZGL is happy to know Cao Cao won’t be bothering them just yet as he will be busy against Sun Quan as I believe Cheung Fei says “Good! Let’s sit and watch them killing each other!” but ZGL disagrees and feels this is the time to be prepared and so urges for more military training.

Meanwhile there is a change in Cao Cao’s camp who overhears Lau Bei preparing more army and this time Man Yeuk has a 360 degrees turn in opinion and told Cao Cao to be wary of Lau Bei also, and Hon laughs at Man Yeuk’s sudden change of heart as Hon says “So, you can’t even be sure who is our enemy, Lau Bei or Sun Quan?!”. “My lord, it is important to be wary of both but keep one of them as friends rather than enemies. Lau Bei, Guan Yu and Cheung Fei are loyal to the Han cause and so will never pledge allegiance to us. Sun Quan is different. He is a smart young man, he will know what’s good for him. With Sun Quan as an ally, we can use our energy to fight Lau Bei and once Lau Bei is destroyed then we can turn our friend Sun Quan into our enemy and destroy them” and Cao Cao laughs at the good idea and Hon looking pissed off.

But why would Sun Quan agree to be an ally with Cao Cao? You will see.

Man Yeuk goes to see Sun Quan and exactly the same question posed by Sun Quan who also adds “Your master does not respect me. I remember when I was first given this position, he disrespect me, now you expect me to be his ally?” as Man Yeuk explains “My lord, it is better for you to be my master’s ally than his enemy because my master will show no mercy to his enemies. If you wish to live longer and be as prosperous as you’re now, it is my advice you pledge your allegiance to my master or else..” and Sun Quan angrily says “Is this the tone you take with me?! This disrespectful tone and  your threats?” as Man Yeuk says “Yes it is a threat. I am sure my lord knows how strong my master’s army are, their sheer numbers will crush your army. They’re determined and they will achieve whatever they wish under my master’s command. Perhaps you should be wiser and agree to this alliance” and Sun Quan knows Man Yeuk has a point. And yes Man Yeuk was very arrogant the way he said what he said but then he knows he is right.

Lu Su rushes to Lau Bei and delivers the bad news of an alliance between Cao Cao and Sun Quan, or rather Sun Quan is prepared to enter into an alliance with Cao Cao and Lau Bei panics as Lu Su says “I am afraid this is the last we shall meet as friends as if we meet again, we may meet as enemies”

I really like Lu Su. He is a guy with great foresight but not much persuasive power.

Meeting.

ZGL is now in a mess. He is worried and yes he is not a problem solver. Because Shun is the problem solver and he says when ZGL mentions a chess game, he remembers what his younger brother says.. and he repeats something no one can understand and finally he says “In simpler terms, when you’re in a bind and with nothing to lose, you gamble everything you have for one chance of survival or as we call it, “sai lang”! as in those gambling shows, when the opponent throws all chips into the centre of the table and cries Sai Lang!!

ZGL understands and says “Imagine you have one road and 2 carts, each at opposite ends and neither will relinquish the right to go first. So what do you do?” and hun understands, use a cloth to bind his eyes and then says “You just be blind, take all chances and go for it, and hoping the other side will let you through” and ZGL says “And that is what I will do.. it is a gamble we must all take or as Wan Shun says, I will “sai lang” them”.

Back at Sun Quan’s place, there is ZGL and Sun Quan says “You don’t need to say more. I am prepared to accept an alliance with Cao Cao” and I am surprised Zhou Yu is ok with that. I mean didn’t he hear about the bird cage? He’d rather give in to his jealousy rather than fight the guy who will capture his wife?!

Anyway ZGL says “Listen to me first my lord. I am here today not to interfere with your decision but to tell you of my master’s decision” and he produces 2 larges scrolls and places them side by side as he says “My master’s decision is in these scrolls. One will declare war against Cao Cao and the other will propose a surrender to Cao Cao” and of course Sun Quan is shocked as ZGL says “My master is prepared to consider an alliance or a war. As you should know, we are nobodies. If Cao Cao wants to remove an enemy, he will remove the more powerful one first and that is you. Our master is just someone insignificant compared to you. Why would Cao Cao be bothered by us as opposed to you?”

Well Cao Cao is bothered until Man Yeuk explains quite eloquently why Sun Quan is more troublesome than Lau Bei.

“He will destroy you after he has destroyed us. An alliance will stop that but since you chose to be allies with the man who is famous for his cruelty, I have no doubt after us, his next target is you. Cao Cao will not rest until he disposes off with his enemies and conquer us all.” and Zhou Yu shouts “How dare you threaten my king?!” and Sun Quan says “So what do you mean? The decision now is in my hands?” as ZGL says “My lord, it is indeed. My master is unable to choose and so he shall let you choose. Should he send the declaration of war or the intention to surrender? The choice is yours” and ZGL walks away.

Cool.

Sun Quan and Zhou Yu alone and Zhou Yu says “We don’t need to listen to them! We can fight Cao Cao on our own!” as Sun Quan suddenly lost his temper and thundered much to Zhou Yu’s shock “I have had it with your decisions! I have always wanted an alliance but I listened to your advice, against my better judgment. We had a choice to be their allies and all things going well, then you advised to go against Cao Cao alone and now we are back to square one and I am now without a choice as ZGL has made it clear. I have made my decision. I will be allies with Lau Bei, but since you created this mess, you will solve it with the ministers!!” and Zhou Yu meekly agrees.

What a man! Sun Quan certainly can make his own decisions.

And so Zhou Yu alone at night thinking what to do when Xiao Qiao rushes in and told him to try on some dress even when Zhou Yu says he is not in the mood and she pushes and pushes until he scolded her and she cries like a baby and runs away. I tell you, great man like Zhou Yu, brought down by that stupid idiot called his wife.

Next day, Zhou Yu faces the wrath of the ministers as Sun Quan looks on and fair enough, they questioned him why one second he says no alliance, now says got alliance and they nit picked on everything he says until Zhou Yu sorta lost their attention when Sun Quan stood up and thundered “ENOUGH YOU OLD FOOLS!! Enough with the questions. My decision is final. I will form an alliance with Lau Bei and…” he takes a sword by his side and continues “…if anyone wishes to oppose my decision…” and he cuts off one corner of the table and everyone gulps, including Zhou Yu, “.. you will suffer the same fate as this table!” as Sun Quan looks at them sternly and with kingly determination.

YES! YES! YES!! WHAT A MAN!! Sun Quan, you are my hero! I love how he scolded Zhou Yu who was being childish and then how he told the ministers point blank he is the king, they listen if not he will chop off their heads. This is like the becoming of a king. Lau Bei should learn from Sun Quan about being a man instead of a wuss. If Song Yau was Sun Quan’s loyal favourite maid, I am sure he would scolded that childish bitch.

What more can I say? Lau Bei is being assassinated, ZGL is somewhat redeemed but barely, Zhou Yu is like.. is that Commander Zhou Yu? What a wuss! And Xiao Qiao, what an airhead. I know this series wants to take a different approach but I wonder, are die hard fans of Romance of Three Kingdoms feeling offended? No? Ok, then. But I wonder why is this series in such a hurry to introduce some important characters, bond in 1 episode, destroy that bond in another and totally annihilate the characters by the 3rd or episode? I mean it is only episode 17, still a long way to go. Why not allow us some time to grow to like Zhou Yu only to be very very disappointed by his wuss-ness?

Performance wise, Ruco Chan works well within the confines of his character. I am just disappointed I see Zhou Yu great in 1 episode and fallen angel in the next episode. Sorta vert fast to kill off the credentials of this character and so so petty.

Pierre Ngo rules. I see his Sun Quan slowly taking control over his kingdom. Why he decides against the alliance is because he is duty bound to listen to Zhou Yu first or to other ministers but he has become his own man in 1 episode. Very dangerous man he shall be! Anyway love the final scene and fantastic performance.

Everybody else is ok, no more comments except can someone tell the strategists over the good guys side to stop talking with heavy breathing? Like Lu Su and ZGL? It’s like they’re confessing love to one another with the heavy breathing whilst over at Cao Cao’s camp, the strategists talk in loud clear voices.

Strange!

Oh and Sharon Chan, performance as on paper is ok but as someone so damn beautiful? No. Spoilt? Maybe. Drop dead gorgeous? TVB, you gotta be kidding me!! Give that role to JJ Jia. She looks gorgeous in ancient costumes. But do make her mute.

This Episodic Thoughts was written by Funn Lim, a Contributing Writer at JayneStars.com, and was originally posted at http://3kingdomsrpg.blogspot.com. 

Read more Episodic Thoughts for “Three Kingdoms RPG”!

• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 1
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 2
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 3
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 4 
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 5
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 6
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 7 
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 8 
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 9 
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 10
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 11
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 12
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 13
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 14
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 15
• Three Kingdoms RPG: Episode 16