Ady An Angrily Blasts BFF Barbie Xu: “What Do You Think I Am?”
The lighting engagement and marriage between Barbie Xu and Wang Xiao Fei once again grabbed tabloid headlines . This time, the focus fell on Ady An Yi Xuan, who had originally introduced Barbie and Xiao Fei at her October birthday party. Although rumored to be Barbie’s Maid of Honor in the upcoming wedding, a disheveled Ady angrily addressed Barbie in a television interview. Ady questioned whether Barbie thought of her as a matchmaker, love rival, or bridesmaid?
From her outburst, this may be proof of Ady admitting earlier rumors of having a crush on Wang Xiao Fei. The outburst may also signify the breakdown of a formerly strong friendship between Ady and Barbie.
Barbie and Xiao Fei’s marriage triggered numerous scandalous rumors. It was rumored that Barbie may have been the third party in Xiao Fei’s relationship with ex-girlfriend, Kitty Zhang Yuqi. These rumors were denied by Xiao Fei. Allegedly, Xiao Fei’s mother, Zhang Lan, may have paid Kitty $6 million (Yuan) in order to leave Xiao Fei. After these rumors subsided, Ady An emerged into the already crowded picture. Although she was the matchmaker in Barbie and Xiao Fei’s romance, she may have also harbored feelings for Xiao Fei. Earlier, Ady also angrily noted that Kitty Zhang reacted surprisingly calm in light of Barbie’s recent marriage to Xiao Fei.
A visibly tired Ady said in her interview that she did not receive any invitation to be the Maid of Honor in Barbie’s wedding. “From matchmaker to abandoned Maid of Honor, I really don’t know what I am?” The following statement led many netizens to believe that Ady was expressing her anger towards Barbie,”I do not know in the end whether she regards me as the matchmaker, Maid of Honor, love rival, or what position. Maybe I need to ask her!”
Source: Tom.com
Jayne: Sounds very scandalous! Ady An did sound upset in her statement. Perhaps she did have feelings for Wang Xiao Fei, but Barbie dated and married Xiao Fei so quickly, there was not much Ady could do.
It’s true the weddings often bring out arguments among best friends and weddings are known to end some friendships. People get so emotional during weddings, which is considered one of the biggest days in their lives. Best friends of the bride (or groom in some case) can feel neglected or hurt while the couple are busily preparing for the big day. Old hurt feelings also come up in a big way as tensions become high.
People say that best friends often have the same taste in men. My best friend and I used to like the same guy in school, but since neither one of us dated him, our friendship was not affected. Even if it’s fair competition and the guy is free to choose, someone will get hurt. Carina Lau and Margie Tsang’s friendship was affected when Carina dated Tony Leung? Ady An upset at Barbie Xu over Wang Xiao Fei? Any other famous celebrity BFF’s fighting over the same man?
Is true love worth the expense of a deep friendship? Is it ethical to date a man whom you know your BFF may be deeply in love with? The man may or may not have returned feelings for your BFF. Despite this, by you dating the same man, you know this will hurt your BFF deeply. Do you justify dating/ marrying the man because a true friend will come around sometime and realize that love is unpredictable and beyond your control? A difficult decision depending on your value of love, friendship, loyalty and ethics.
Is true love worth the expense of a deep friendship?
Yes if it is a true love which will last to your death
Is it ethical to date a man whom you know your BFF may be deeply in love with?
Depends. If BFF is deeply in love but not in a relationship with the man who clearly is not in love with her, then yes, it is ethical. It only becomes unethical when they’re a pair, you stepped in or you know the man dumped your BFF for reasons other than an amicable separation. If such is the case I believe it is only ethical when BFF gives blessing.
The man may or may not have returned feelings for your BFF. Despite this, by you dating the same man, you know this will hurt your BFF deeply. Do you justify dating/ marrying the man because a true friend will come around sometime and realize that love is unpredictable and beyond your control?
If the man clearly rejects this BFF, no relationship was ever to begin with, guy did the honourable thing and explained to BFF how he actually feels for you, then my question lies not with you but with the BFF; the guy doesn’t love you, he is deeply in love with your best friend, do you now call yourself a good friend if you know so and still knowingly stand between them, eventhough there is absolutely nothing and there never will anything be between you and your dream man?
My answer is this; BFFs work both ways.
In this present news, whatever is the attraction, unless there was a relationship to begin with, the man is free to pursue whoever he wants and she is free to accept his affection even if it will hurt this BFF because simple; BFF, the guy was never into you, so grow up and move on!
My cousin who been hanging around with his group of friends for like few years just suddenly decided to stop befriending them. He cut off communication and removed them from facebook.
He later told me that this girl he was in love with, though unrequited, maintained friendship over the years. However, there was this other fella who part of their circle of friends who also in love with the girl; but she had turned him down before. So basically it a two guys gunning for the same girl and this trio always went out to do stuff together. Even though my cousin couldn’t get the girl, he felt that there was still hope since she wasn’t taken yet. Everything was happy and dandy until he found out that there something amiss between his guy friend and his female friend when my he returned from an oversea trip. He suspected they were dating and clues from their facebook hinted so. My cousin felt betrayed and even cursed the girl over facebook. Then he completely removed her and his guy friend and other friends who were part of the circle. My cousin was hurt. He went emo for a month! So to answer the question, yes, love can ruin a friendship when friends competing for the same girl/guy. It’s always portrayed on screen too so i guess it’s not far-fetched.
Ethics and Love are such difficult concepts to talk together. Seriously, unless there is something strikingly wrong I doubt merely hurting your ‘friend’ is unethical even if you know your friend also likes the other person and you go for that person too.
I mean if you lie, trick, cheat, eavesdrop etc then there may be something ethical about it, but I don’t think to ‘love’ somebody enters the realm of ‘ethics’ even if it so happens to injure someone else because that person fervently loves them too but has been rejected or won’t do a thing about it.
I suppose at the end of the day people should learn to realise ‘love’ isn’t a be or and end all; too many people far too easily believe the person they like at a very moment is their partner-eternal. Truth is only rarely will you meet someone who is absolutely compatible with you beyond any other person in this world past-present-future, so its not like you’re losing your health over it. Get over that moments worth of pain and view things with a more open mind and heart. Its difficult but I guess at the end of the day only logic or wisdom can get you over the hurdles of love and they tend to be the most unattractive explanations for people emotionally hurt.
And same goes for friendship. But I suppose that’s why people like keeping different circles of friends, so you don’t have the same BFFs and potential targets which ruin friendships. In the I end I believe its up to the maturity of the persons affected.
WOW, I was shocked to see this piece of news since I thought that Ady was the one that introduced Barbie to Wang Xiao Fei? I thought that IF you actually “liked” any of your friends of the opposite sex as more than just a friend, then why are you introducing him/her to others?? Aren’t you giving others a chance to be with him/her? I once asked my only guy friend that and he said that he wouldn’t.
In Ady and Barbie’s case,hm… it seems more complicated than I thought. Most if of my friends are all girls, but we have never ever had the problem of liking the same guy before. If Ady did like Wang Xiao Fei, then I do feel bad for her since Barbie and him fell in love way too fast for anyone else to even have a chance. I still wonder if Barbie and Wang Xiao Fei will even last?? Maybe it is better for Ady to find someone else instead of getting involved with him?? It can be a blessing in disguise for her. Also, if Ady did like him then is it really a good idea to have her be Barbie’s maid of honor?? I don’t think it would be a good idea…
Although I have never experienced anything like this before, I wonder if people would pick love or friendship?? Most would pick love but may regret it later if the marriage/relationship does not last. Then they would lose their friendship with their best friend and the guy that they once loved….
Anyways, hopefully things work out for them so that everyone is happy…
Also when it is 2 girls liking a guy, it will depend on the guy and who he likes more. Therefore, the girls can’t really do anything. There are many great guys in this world so I hope that Ady will find her true love one day…
@Darren,
Sorry to hear about your cousin… But yea, you are right that when you are going for the same guy/girl, it can hurt any friendship. We have seen it portrayed in many series and movies. However, I think it is a bit different when it is 2 guys going after the same girl rather than vice versa. If it is 2 guys, the guys would generally try to compete to see who can get the girl. However, when it is 2 girls liking the same guy, then it will depend on who the guy likes more.
@SDS,
It is funny how you mention logic and wisdom when it comes to love. I always try to rationalize love but people always tell me that love cannot be rationalized with logic… I think love is just something that you just “feel” and “experience” but cannot really comprehend or explain to anyone else.
Darren, your cousin is totally and utterly immature and I understand why the girl did not choose him in the end. What utter nonsense! The girl never played with either guy’s feelings, more so your cousin’s and I think she acted honourably. Your cousin needs to grow up and criticising her over what is it? Facebook? Surely that must seal the girl’s beliefs that she chose well not to choose him!
True though that love is illogical but choices and preferences are based on logic. Think before you act; mind over matter; logic over feelings. I don’t know, I have never been in a situation where 2 girls fight over 1 guy, for me no such guy is worth the trouble or suffering but yet if it hurts in the end maybe do as Darren’s cousin did; walk away. But by doing that you become bitter.
So is love worth all the bitterness?
I’d rather be happy so my answer is no.
Maybe Ady was just upset that Barbie did not make her the Maid of Honor. She did say “From matchmaker to abandoned Maid of Honor, I really don’t know what I am?”.
I don’t know. From the article, I do believe that Ady like Xiao Fei and maybe Barbie knew, or she thought Barbie knew. Then, Barbie go and have a lightning engagement with Xiao Fei. Maybe Ady would still be able to accept it at least tried to accept it. But, the last straw broke when Barbie didn’t invite her and Maid of Honor.
What she said about Maid of Honor was strange if she’s just upset about Barbie marrying Xiao Fei. Why add the ‘abandon Maid of Honor’ phrase? Could she have felt that Barbie abandoned their friendship after dating Xiao Fei and that’s why she’s upset?
Yup, I have to agree too. That’s what it seems like.
“But, the last straw broke when Barbie didn’t invite her and Maid of Honor.”
If Ady was a true friend she would have known it was a spur of the moment thing and the couple don’t seem to have any plans yet so not asking her to be MoH is not a big deal.
Also, Ady isn’t even her best friend, wouldn’t you give that position to your best friend? what a childish way to act.
she didn’t date the guy, didn’t say anything about likely the guy and now is all upset because the guy likes someone else?! Even going as far as to show her ‘displeasure’ to the public. Grow up.
“WOW, I was shocked to see this piece of news since I thought that Ady was the one that introduced Barbie to Wang Xiao Fei? I thought that IF you actually “liked” any of your friends of the opposite sex as more than just a friend, then why are you introducing him/her to others?? Aren’t you giving others a chance to be with him/her? I once asked my only guy friend that and he said that he wouldn’t.”
I don’t know. Maybe I’m naive. But, I would introduce the guy I like to my BFF if they happen to meet (maybe together in the same function).
Kidd – I’m with you. I expect the friend to know better.
I would introduce the guy to my BFF’s, too. Honestly, I would want my girlfriends to meet the guy I am interested in and get feedback, but in Ady’s case, I guess it was a mistake since he ended up falling for Barbie instead. So, I think that’s why she felt betrayed. I guess I have to be pretty confident that he likes me as well.
This situation has never happened to me before, but if it did, I think it’s a matter of who the guy likes more, and how much I actually like the guy. I’m not really aggressive, so I won’t be the type that would fight with my BFF over a guy. It would have to be the guy that tells me that he likes me more than my BFF and they cannot be already dating each other. That’s when it’ll be unethical because you’ll be breaking them apart. But if we were all single, I would just let nature take its course and see who he likes more. I would also not lie to my friend and let her know that I like him so there are no surprises later on. I’m pretty honest with my BFF’s if I do spot a guy I am interested in. I think it’s a lot easier when you tell the friend first that you like the guy. If she told me first, then it would be harder for me to say, “Oh, I like him too!” Same with when you are introducing him to your friends, I would make it clear that “I am interested in this guy and would like you guys to meet him to see what you think of him.” If the guy did like one of my BFF’s more before we started dating, then I think I would be upset initially, but won’t let it affect our friendship. At least he’s honest about it and he does have the right to choose. That would be better than him dating me and then cheating on me with my BFF. That would affect the friendship forever.
@Funn, I do agree with you that my cousin should grow up and stop throwing tantrum when thing didn’t go his way. I didn’t not sympathize for him at all. I felt that he was being ridiculous as it the girl choice to choose whoever she wanted to date. However, i had to sit around to hear him lament about his unfortunate. Yada yada!
I highly doubt she likes Xiao Fei. I think she bursts because of the all the constant rumors that never stop and is always saying she likes Xiao Fei when she repeatedly came out and denied it; yet rumors just keep on coming. If I were her I would bursts too because they keep asking the same questions.
In my opinion, it seems like Barbie Xu may have originally asked Ady An to be her maid of honor to dispel any rumors of love rivalry between the two bffs, in which case I feel is selfish and rude of Barbie (if the reports are true of Ady An having had feelings for Xiao Fei) and then later changed her mind, thus Ady An calling herself the “ex-maid of honor”. If I were Ady An, I would be angry too about being Barbie not being sensitive to her feelings and using her for PR purposes, but not because Barbie is marrying her crush.
lets be real. when it comes to women’s friendship, they would most likely choose being with the guy than keep their friend. It’s not tight like the brotherhood of men (although some men do choose women).
I agree with Judy on this one. I’ve always thought of Barbie as a strange, morally questionable one when it comes to how she deals with relationships and friends. Ady seems to be more down-to-earth so I don’t blame her for her outburst.
I disagree with EkinFan though. If you’re going to choose the guy over the friend, that guy had better look like Brad Pitt and that friend better not be a BFF. Platonic relationships almost always outlast romantic ones so you’d go better choosing the guy. Most of my girlfriends are of the same opinion.
i disagree with this opinion, considering Barbie had never dated an attached guy, always maintained good relationships with her friends and has the rule of not dating an friend’s EX. I don’t see how you can find her “Morally questionable”?
Yet you don’t blame Ady who had no say in the relationship in the first place for her outburst? I find her quite petty, even if she liked the guy. If she loved him, do something about it. Don’t go crying when its no longer there.
Sorry, I meant choosing the friend, LOL.
This is a strange one. I think Ardy is if anything more hurt that she was not asked to be maid of honor or even part of the wedding than the fact that the guy did not pick her.
When I was in HS, I was madly crushing this one guy which my bff knew. The guy felt the same except that his friend was crushing on me. So needless to say, we never got together. Only to find out later in college that my bff ended-up dating him during college. I was hurt at the beginning but it made me realize what type of person my bff and the crush was. I just move-on, no grudge needed. My personal take is that regardless whether my friend is with the guy or not, if she likes him, that means off limit to me. I would not want to wear my friend’s old shoes.
Disagree with Ekinfan’s generalising. There are women who choose BFF over love interest and there are men who choose women over brotherhood. It depends in the individual. Neither is more prone to do one way over the other.
I also agree with Judy as well.I don’t know much about Barbie since I was never a big fans of hers, however, I feel that maybe she was using Ady. Also, I still question if Barbie really “loves” Wang Xiao Fei or it is only for money?? It is isn’t only Barbie though, it seems like her family is even more anxious to get her married into this soul called rich family so that they can be set for life. I guess it seems like that is all they care for.
I also disagree with Ekinfan’s statement. I believe that that varies from case to case. There are a lot of female friendships that are really close. Same thing goes for the guys. You can’t just generalize and say that the guy or girl will always pick love over friendship.
Ekinfan, based on what you have posted before, I get the feeling that you have a very low opinion of women in general. I don’t know what happen to make you think like that but I’d just like to point out that not all women are fickle, guy crazy gold diggers and not all guys are honorable band of brothers kind of people.
@ CY
What you said!
@advo
Huh?
LOL. I just agreed with you regarding your statement about men and women.
@advo
haha, i see.. I was just confused by what you meant. I just don’t like it when people stereotype because that’s when avoidable misunderstandings occur.
Uhmmmm, i think Ady is actually upset about the fact that she’s not the maid of the honor, than about the guy not picking her…
Found the video in Mandarin
http://maydaily.com/2010/12/14/ady-bitch-slaps-love-rival-barbie/
If you guys are interested.
“Match made in heaven” is a true statement. Eve was created by our loving Papa God, from Adam’s rib as the Word says. Men have their ‘rib’, that he needs to find by seeking God. She is his help meet which is, the matching helper. Destined before they were born. With many beautiful plans Papa God has in mind for them. This is what the Bible teaches and this is my experience in life. And the Bible is the Word, and the Word is Jesus, and Jesus is the Bread of Life from whom we live by.
*whole comment is based off promises Creator has promised mankind as we choose to take Him at His Word (in Bible)