How Alex Fong and Hoyan Mok Keep the Peace in Their Marriage
Although Hoyan Mok (莫可欣) is now better known as Alex Fong’s (方中信) wife, the 51-year-old was crowned Miss Hong Kong 1993. Her win at the time was marked with controversy, as many complained that she was not beautiful enough to win the crown. When Hoyan dated and eventually married Alex, many felt that she was not good enough for him.
Despite her pageant win, Hoyan’s career at TVB was lackluster as she held mainly supporting roles in her five-year stint there. After leaving TVB in the 1990s, she began working as an assistant for a construction company. Recalling this career shift, Hoyan expressed, “I couldn’t adapt to the 9-to-5 work life. I quit after three months. After punching in my time card, I would sneak into the bathroom to nap for 20 minutes.”
Fading away from the entertainment industry after she started dating Alex in 1996, Hoyan was the ideal girlfriend in her patience. Despite facing public disapproval, the couple eventually married in 2008 and welcomed the arrival of their daughter.
Since becoming a mother, Hoyan has primarily stayed away from the public eye. However, she recently accepted an interview and graciously shared how she and Alex maintain their 12-year marriage. “It is not all sunshine and butterflies. We are quite different when it comes to work. Our paths and pace are different. To maintain our marriage, we really need to accommodate one another. He is the one who often starts arguments. I don’t like arguing, and would rather give him annoyed looks.”
Alex, who is dubbed as “Hong Kong’s Richard Gere,” saw beyond Hoyan’s looks, “She is not beautiful, but she has a great personality. We are very compatible and get along well. It is fate.”
Her Buddhist beliefs also inspire Hoyan to cherish her marriage–as fate brought them together in this lifetime, she wants to make the best out of their limited time together. She said, “We have the fate of husband and wife. Perhaps there was something in our past lives that we still owe one another, so we were brought together in this life to settle the score. I said to Alex, why don’t we treat each other better in this life and clear the score board, so that we hopefully will not become husband and wife again in the next life? That way, we won’t owe each other anything and can just be friends.”
Source: Hket
This article is written by Huynh for JayneStars.com.
Lovely couple 🙂
Haha I never really thought alex fong was good-looking…he has a very stingy look to me. His wife from photos look very gracious and cute. But standards were really high back then for Miss HKs, so she got the shorter end of the stick. Regardless, based on this interview, it sounds like people are making Alex as if he’s God’s gift to women. And from his wife’s responses, sounds like she doesn’t like being with him either hahaha
This does not sound like a happy marriage.
@potatochip
At the end of the day, only they know that. There are many unhappy marriages in the world but people try to last due to children, face, and other reasons.
@hetieshou In that Buddhist part, she basically said that she must have done something wrong to be punished with him this life. And, he starts arguments (aka yells at her) and she wishes he treats her better because she doesn’t want to be with him in their next life.
Him saying she isn’t beautiful is also wrong because society judges a woman’s worth by her beauty, especially since she was Ms HK. Calling a man ugly is completely different because men don’t care about their own beauty. It must be an extremely sore spot for her because he is agreeing with the media’s criticism of her, which was leveraged at a vulnerable time and age.
If they are happy, they have an unhealthy way of expressing that. Many couples stay together even though they are unhappy, but is that what I would want for myself? Their life, their choices, it doesn’t really concern me, just commenting because the interview sounds so gloomy.
@potatochip
I guess so and now that you mention it, that was what my late mom said about my late dad too. But honestly, she should divorce if she is unhappy which was what I wanted my parents to do but my mom only stayed for her children.
Well if it is wrong to say a woman is bad looking, it is also very wrong to say a guy is bad looking too. It is NOT true that a man does not care about his looks. I have 7 brothers in real life and most of my brothers care a lot about their looks. Most of them get very offended if anyone criticized their looks. Most women do not understand men like I would as I grew up with all men.
I agree that he should not have said that but at least he did say she has a good personality. Why is it ok for women to criticize their men but not the other way around?
Well honestly, I take these articles with a grain of salt. Many marriages seem all lovey covey but end up in divorce. At the end of the day, it is their life so truly knows except for them?
@hetieshou @luye I was in a rush and I short handed what I meant. Men do not care about their looks the way women are ingrained to by society. As soon as a baby girl is able to understand and speak, the people around her compliment her on her looks and place value on it. “Your dress is pretty. Your hair is so nice.
You have a lovely nose. You are skinny. Don’t get fat because no man will love you.” This is not the same for men, who are valued for their success.
Sure, it hurts a man to be called ugly, but it does not cut to the core the same way as if you called a woman ugly. Now, if you insult his success and called him a loser, that might hurt equally.
Of course, I do not support this way of upbringing children and subjecting them to gender expectations. But they do exist, especially during Alex’s generation. That is why calling his wife “not beautiful” is especially hurtful.
I am hoping for a day when we don’t judge women by their looks or give moral accolades to men just for being successful. Until then, I will try to do my part in teaching my children.
@potatochip Actually, most men care a lot about their looks even though they dont talk about it openly and as often as women. Men like to be complimented and feel attractive, not called ugly.
@luye
Exactly but sadly some just mistakenly think that men do not care for their looks. Not true at all.
yea I remember this even my mom back then was like how did she became Miss HK while others like Kenix Kwok were a lot better.
@vodka Because the deciding round was a quiz battle. And she completely demolished all the other contestants. She was way smarter lol.
“She is not beautiful, but she has a great personality. ” Did he really say that? Quite rude. Also, it sounds like they’re just tolerating each other
@tocar Believe me there are guys who would say that. I remember back in H.S. This class clown aka ahole of a dude who 75% of the class hated him but what do you know a fellow HK g/f actually married him. I guess this is where the saying ‘beauty is the eyes of the beholder? lol ahhah…. As there was more than one occasion that this ahole would something like #Erin is not pretty but I guess I will make do#. He is not even good looking more like below average Joe and he still had the nerve to be critical. haha Unreal…..Not sure if they are still married but I am sure yes some are just TOLERATING since they are just used to it. I guess some women do NOT mind at all as long as they have a partner. This woman above I don’t think she is very attractive but I do believe she tops him by being much more educated.
@wm2017
I personally do not find it really rude. Is it ok for a woman to say that about their partner too? My friend said that about her husband. Her husband is not offended as he knows she loves him for who he is not his looks.
Tolerance is actually one of the most important traits that makes any relationship work. Carina Lau actually said the same thing about her marriage with Tony. She tolerance was one of the aspects that kept their marriage lasting. Any marriage takes more than just love.
It takes much more than physical attraction too or else it would not be blissful, lasting or happy.
@tocar
I honestly do not think it is really rude to say that. It is much more than looks and having a good personality beats physical appearance any day. My friend said that about her husband. She says her husband is not handsome but has a very kind heart and wonderful personality. Does that make my friend rude?
@tocar I think he was in his way trying to compliment her being that he loves her for her other qualities not her looks. Although I agree with everyone else, it probably still not nice to hear.
Maybe if he reworded it and said she is still beautiful to him even if not to everyone else it might go down better.
Is it just me or does she look prettier in her profile pic than most miss HK winners from the last decade?
Also I hope they are kidding/exaggerating…. O.o
@bubbles23 just u lol
I honestly think he can do so much better… maybe she trapped him with a baby
I love him but I honestly believe he has serious commitment issues. Not sure if anyone knows but they cohabited for a long time and he only proposed after she gave birth.
@conan2209
He does and it sounds he only married for the child. Marriages that only marry for the kid are not usually the most blissful but it still depends.
He may have had commitment issues Initially. But for a man who began dating a woman in 1996, then married her in 2008 and remains married in 2021. If being with someone for 25 years does not show commitment, I am not sure what will. If my memory serves me correctly, Alex also rarely had any scandals linked with other actresses too in the 80s or 90s. Very attractive man he is.
Anyway as a person who has been in a 20 years plus relationship would know, it’s not all roses especially after children and other life stresses. Initially, there is the honey moon period which could last for months and years. But this unfortunately does not last forever.
After is when the true test of love comes in. And what is it that keeps couples together for the long haul? Acceptance, understanding, tolerance, forgiveness and Love.
What goes on behind closed doors no one knows. People stay together for different reasons, what is said may be blunt. But his/her words are one thing, we look at their actions and behaviours and how long they have maintained the relationship.
@dramafan
You made some very good points! All of the things you said truly reminds me of something that this one family friend told me. I heard that she was married for 40 years and you know what she said right after I said that. She looked me straight in the eye and said “it’s hard”. Having a long and lasting and blissful marriage takes a lot of work on both sides.
But sadly many think so negatively of Alex just because he said his wife is not beautiful. That can be interpreted in many ways. Since they have been together for so long, little things like that most likely do not matter much or at all. I still my late uncle and aunt were married for several decades before they passed and they always made fun of each other. Outsiders may think they are being rude to each other but they were just being them. However, they remained married until their deaths.
@hetieshou i totally agree with everything you said. I won’t go to much into it, but it does take work to maintain a long term relationship. I liken it to having the same meal every day for 20/30/40/50 years. Initially what was so yummy and exciting in time will be repetitive and monotonous because you know it so well. But this is where you have to dig deep and stop yourself from chasing after that thrill/excitement. Being able to refrain from the lure of something new and younger, is the true test of commitment, not a piece of paper. This is where many have failed, hence the high divorce rates. I can imagine Alex has been propositioned a few times in his life, but appears that he has been able to remain by his wife’s side. Kudos to him and his wife.