Jackie Chan’s Illegitimate 11 Year-Old Daughter Returns to Hong Kong
Eleven years ago, Elaine Ng Yi Lei had an affair with Jackie Chan and gave birth to their daughter,Cheuk Lam. After the scandal broke out, the married Jackie dismissed the affair by saying, “I committed a wrong-doing that men all over the world are guilty of!”
Afterwards, Elaine moved to Shanghai with her daughter, who grew up in a single parent family due to her father’s absence. Allegedly, Jackie gave a monthly stipend of $350,000 (Yuan) to Elaine. The amount would pay for living expenses and substitute for his fatherly responsibilities. In the last decade, Jackie never spoke about his illegitimate daughter and they led separate lives as if they were strangers.
Allegedly, Elaine hoped to send her daughter to the United States [to attend boarding school]. As a result, Elaine accepted several advertisement jobs to earn extra income recently. Due to the National Holiday on October 1st in China , Elaine took advantage of the holiday season to return to Hong Kong with her daughter. On a recent Causeway Bay shopping trip, reporters spotted eleven year-old Cheuk Lam, who resembled Elaine closely.
Due to Jackie Chan’s inappropriate remarks regarding the Hong Kong tourist deaths in the Philippines several in August, he aroused the wrath of many people. In recent months, Jackie has been living in his Beijing mansion. Although Jackie’s daughter, Cheuk Lam, is currently in Hong Kong , she lacked the opportunity to meet her father once again.
Source: Tom.com
Jayne: Many men do cheat in relationships, whether they are married or not. Some extra-marital affairs are just more public than others. I found Jackie’s statement, “I committed a wrong-doing that men all over the world are guilty of,” to have a dismissive nature. He appears to justify his adultery by saying that it’s a common thing about men, dismissing its importance. From the sound of things, Jackie does not appear to be an involved father for Cheuk Lam. He even denied he was the father when Elaine’s pregnancy first surfaced and there may even have been DNA tests conducted.
With the upcoming November elections in New York State , it reminded me of former Governor, Eliot Spitzer’s prostitution scandal. Spitzer’s prostitution habit became the butt of many jokes, but I found his actions to be highly disturbing. Along with regular extra-marital affairs, apparently it’s common for men (from good backgrounds and education) to pay for sex. I know of a few friends’ friends who have paid for sex. They are well-educated men who hold professional jobs.
While traveling to Xian, China several years ago, the 4 star hotel we stayed at had a karaoke bar that offered escort services. I saw some of these girls in the elevator and they were probably 18 to early 20s. Prostitution seems to be a common and accepted practice in China . In fact, many men who vacation in China seem to love paying for these “high quality” prostitutes. “Sex vacation tours” are common in Asia and in one particularly disturbing news expose, tours that involve child prostitutes are in high demand.
Is it the convenience of paid sex that makes men gravitate towards prostitutes? They don’t have to work hard to impress a woman at the bar to have a one-night stand. Are the men so lazy? Or there is no possibility of rejection if sex is paid for? Is there a sense of power that the men have when they pay for sex and the woman will not say no? Some men’s preference for child prostitution is in a class of its own, which I find to be especially disturbing.
Men pay money to have sex with a prostitute. Keeping a mistress involves paying for her living expenses. Perhaps men have more feelings for their mistresses. But ethically, they are not very far apart from each other. If sexually-transmitted-diseases were not a concern, I believe that more men will sleep with prostitutes.
I really hate Jackie Chan’s comments on many important, sensitive issues. It really makes him lose credibiity and the respect of people as an international icon who is supposed to be a good role model for people. Just the way he responded to the bus incidend in Philippines, and the way he denied that he was the father and then dismissed the extremity of what he did by saying that men all over are guilty of it, as if it’s so normal. Cheating and paid sex are becoming common, but for it to come from an international celebrity that is supposed to be influential to others, he should be ashamed of the way he dismissed what he did. The money that he gives them monthly can no way replace the lack of fatherly love that his daughter never had these 11 years. I was just wondering how he and Elaine met in the first place? She was never really active in movies or series, was she?
first u are just too damn dumb to realize that jacky chen has a point on his tweet but u simplistic people always looks down on people who come out with things the way it is.
Maybe jackie did mess up for his affair but he is human and what happen to him happen to many normal and celebrity people. He is trying to make up for it now.
I think they met when he was making a movie. I believe she was involved in the making of the movie, perhaps had a role in it.
She’s 11 now? How time flies. Thank god she doesn’t look like him. And I think she will do better without such a father. Look Elaine was no angel but Jackie was no saint either. He has been having god knows how many affairs, except this time she got pregnant. Anyway I hope he is still paying for her expenses. He can afford it. And if the mother had to work to send her to school, which is a bit dramatic if she is taking money from Jackie, the better way is to force him to pay more through courts. All those advertisements jobs and all, don’t you think those are just for drama? If Jackie is paying her?
lol too funny u think 350,000 yuan is not enough let me ask have u ever seen that much money. 350,000 about 50,000 dollars is more then 98% of american jobs a month and u think thats not enough. Think about it how many womens get that much money in child support? probably about 3 others
50000USD may be a lot for other women but we are talking about Jackie Chan here who is worth multi millions, at the least. I never said it is not enough but if he can afford it why not?
He’s probably not paying her enough. How many men do even when they’ve been married to the woman?
I didn’t find Jackie’s comment about the bus tragedy to be offensive. I don’t like it when people let their emotions take over in situations like that. People should calm down, read/listen to the comment again, and think outside the box before they jump to conclusions. Jackie didn’t applaud the way the Philippines police handled the situation, he didn’t encourage people to smile and take pictures at the scene; all he said was that situations like those are sad because the “end results” are always tragic, hard to prevent, and will always anger people. Well, guess what? What he said was true. Why? Because when we’re speaking in hindsight perspective, it’s ALWAYS EASIER TO ASSUME “WHAT IF…”, “WHY DIDN’T THEY…”, “SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS…” I felt many people just jumped on the wagon and attacked Jackie because they’re angry, hurt, and too emotional to rationalize what he said. Would those people say the same thing if Philippines citizens were killed in China or Hong Kong in a similar situation? What makes them 100% sure that the police force in China or Hong Kong would have done something different to prevent any Philippines citizens from harm? Remember people, it’s always easier to point your finger and/or blame someone when you’re on the other side of the grass; but what if the shoe was on the foot?
As much as I hate having the idiotic Bush as president for 8 years, I would never blame him & his ignorance for 9/11. We should be united, supportive, and forgiving in tragic situations rather than look for a scapegoat, take our anger out on someone else, and jump to conclusions. Because when you let your emotions take precedence over reasons and facts, you’re channeling your energy in the wrong direction. You’ll be surrounded by mistrust, anger, and hatred…not things you need in a time when you need to be strong, optimistic, and hopeful in order to move on and heal. Therefore, don’t let your emotions take over when you’re mad because chances are you’re not thinking things through so you’re more likely to misinterpret/misunderstand people and things.
Actually, if you look closely, the girl does look a little like Jaycee Chan (jackie’s son with Lin Fong Jiao). I think I’ve lost my respect for Jackie Chan after his many inappropriate responses in different situations. The other irritation about him is how he plays up to the West’s version of Chinese by speaking in bad English. If Chow Yuen Fatt & other actors can take time to learn & speak well, why can’t Jackie Chan…
I don’t think Bush was idiotic nor was he ignorant of 9/11. There were many factors and many people who could be blamed but ultimately those who flew the planes were to be blamed and no one else. Obama doesn’t fare better. Bush just had the bad luck of having presided over that horrible tragedy early in his presidency which shaped his actions to come.
He was a C student. He went into a war when he knew there were no weapons of mass destruction. What kind of president WOULD you call him? Oh wait, maybe not idiotic, maybe not ignorant, maybe just evil.
The philipines police were truly incompetent. Again knowing who to blame. Kidnapper too but the police certainly didn’t help matters. But if this was France, they would have stormed in and shoot anyway. Americans would wait and negotiate for hours till the point the kidnapper kills everyone. China would have stormed in as well. HK I am not sure but I am sure the kidnapper is alive and arrested would have been sentenced lightly. Malaysia? Probably will pay him off or just say to all his demands and then arrest him.
Funn, what are your basis for what each country would do if the same tragedy happened to them?
Anyway, jacky chan is an arrogant fool. Everyone knows he’s a married man … Elaine jumped at the situation and now she’s got money for her daughter and herself. I pity the daughter, Jaycee and Lin Feng Qiao.
Jackie Chen is STUPID, he can not read or write English and Chinese. So, he is true player when dating many girlfriends that aren’t intelligent.
yea and he has more money then u will every have how much more stupid that made u
Are you saying he’s illiterate in BOTH language? OMG!
Guess Jackie is a stupid illiterate who laughs all the way to the bank. Incidentally,also one of the richest Chinese man on earth. So who needs to read and write in Chinese or English? lol!
First of all, I really don’t like that comment that Jackie made, but then again… Did he really say it?? Or did the news reporter stick words into his mouth?? I used to believe everything that I read the in papers, but not anymore… Unless, I actually heard them actually say it on a live interview or something.I also agree with Trang about Jackie’s bus comment. I think people just misunderstood what he said.
About this incident, who really knows the whole story behind it? I am not defending Jackie, but since we don’t know the whole story behind it, who really knows?? But I do agree that he should not neglect his responsibilities as a father since his daughter is innocent. All of the money in the world cannot buy back the time and love that he should have given his daughter all these years….
pandamao, just past observation since some did have similar happenings (although some are seige and not kidnapping per se) and what they actually did.
Like US is the really tragic Waco seige
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waco_Siege
France I believe was a plane seige, they just stormed in and started shooting. They do no negotiate with terrorists
Malaysia is a hunch.
HK in its past had been very lenient to kidnappers that it took China to finish off one very prolific kidnapper even if legally sorta murky area how China got to pushed the jurisdiction to their own country. Can’t remember the kidnapper’s name.
Anyway purely past observation.
I think the French probably disregards the whole negotiating aspect to let all terrorist know, they mean business.
I was just wondering since I wasn’t too familiar with how these situations are normally handled in the books. It seems like the one in charge at the moment makes all the call.
You see Jayne, We (men) are kinda already paying for sex the first time you go out on a date with a girl. You take them out, pay for their shit, treat them to a good time and this process could take days before you hit the gold mine. After you hit that gold mine, you gotta think about feelings and what not (that is if it wasn’t a one nighter. Whereas with a prostitute you go right to it with no strings attached and you get variety here.
What Jackie is saying is true, we are all dogs. It’s hardwired into our male instincts and our culture. I like Jackie as an actor and entertainer, but not so much as a person that just pays off his responsibilities.
EkinFan, men spend a lot of money on women. A single guy will be able to save so much more. In some relationships, the man always pays for dates, dinner, vacations etc. But in my circle of friends, we also treat our guys and pay for dinner and dates too. I think in a fair relationship, there is give-and-take on both ends, including who pays the bills.
So with a prostitute, there is less consideration about feelings. There is big convenience and variety. It depends on what the man is looking for. Prostitution is at the extreme end of a “no nonsense sexual” relationships where money makes it simple.
In the past, a female friend told me that if you want to keep your boyfriend, you have to give in to sex early in the relationship. Or else the man will get frustrated and may move on. However, your comment about only “taking days to hit the gold mine” is a little fast-paced for my own ideals though. Although I guess having sex within the first week of dating is not uncommon either. Maybe I should run an anonymous poll just to find out. 🙂
first week? i’m with you Jayne – old school.
I’m sad that EkinFan felt that buying things for the girl he dated and paying for their meals together is paying for sex and all the things he paid for her are shit. I’m so sorry that you have such bad feelings when you pay for your girlfriend.
It’s even sadder that he thinks all men think like that because he does.
Jayne, it’s the culture change. I remember watching a standup comedy show by Micheal Hui and he reminiscence about the past dating culture where it was more innocent. The guy will court the girl for some time before he get to hold her hand and it’s all slow but sweet.
Also, I believe many faithful men will disagree with Jackie Chan’s statement of him making a mistake that all men will make. Some men who really cherish his wife will not make this mistake. I have a guy friend who strongly against legalising prostitution because he took into consideration of the feeling of wives. He actually asked me ‘How would you feel if your husband next time go to prostitute?’ Another guy was disgusted by a play we saw that made fun of large breast. He said why need to use women’s breast as joke and said that it is very disrespectful to women. Another man who has been married for a long time said that if the husband and wife’s love is strong and have great trust for one another, they will not stray however big the temptation because they don’t want to lost this trust.
So, girls. Read Ekinfan’s comment. If you are serious about a guy, don’t give in so early. He might not have develope enough feelings for you for him to ‘think about feelings and what not’ if you let him hit the gold mine so early. :p
But, anyway, if the guy will leave you if you don’t give in early in the relationship, is he worth keeping?
I personally don’t think that all guys are pigs/dogs since there are good and bad guys just like there are good and bad girls. I also don’t believe that it is right to always make the guy pay for everything, especially if the girl also works and makes her own money. It is only fair if she also treats and pays sometimes because I think it is so messed up to always have the guy pay. There should always be a balance. I think it is just the traditional view of thinking if you believe that it is the guy that always has to pay. I really hate it when a girl takes advantage of a guy and vice versa. It just makes me sick….
About the sex thing, I guess I am traditional since I would want to wait until I get married. I think if a guy doesn’t respect that then he may not be the one for you. I personally would be bummed if I lost it to a guy that may not be my future husband. But then, that may be too ideal since times are different now.
I totally agree that should not let a guy have it so early or else he may in some cases lose respect for you. He may think you are way too “easy”. One of my former classmates told me that you should never be too easy on any guy or else they will not know how to treasure you…
I agree that in today’s world, for the guy to always foot the bill for everything is not a rule nor is it polite anymore but i feel the guy should at least pay for the first date as a sign of good faith.. And i don’t agree that just because the guy is paying for everything then the girl has to put out unless of course both parties agree to this sort of a relationship.
Call me old fashioned but I still believe that a girl should wait until after marriage and to only do it with her husband. I mean if the guy truly loves and cares for the girl then he would respect her wishes and be willing to wait. If he is just in it to ‘hit the gold mine’, then this is not the sort of guy not worth it and the girl can do better.
Ekinfan,
“You see Jayne, We (men) are kinda already paying for sex the first time you go out on a date with a girl. You take them out, pay for their shit, treat them to a good time and this process could take days before you hit the gold mine. After you hit that gold mine, you gotta think about feelings and what not (that is if it wasn’t a one nighter. Whereas with a prostitute you go right to it with no strings attached and you get variety here.”
That’s a very negative view of your own sex, assuming you’re a guy. To equate all efforts used on a decent girl is to in the end bed her is maybe true in context for some men but yet very pessimistic view. If such is the case and if the effort is so difficult, well hiring a prostitute seems easier.
Some men do like the chase. Some girls do like being chased. I agree some girls are materialistic. I agree some men do all efforts to bed the girl. But some, that tiny sum, and in my wholly positive view of men, some men are true gentlemen and girls true ladies. Dinners, movies, dating, flowers, kissing, holding hands, etc are part of being romantic, are part of what some call relationship. I don’t think all men are pigs or all women are “suckers” (you know, suck the money away) BUT I do believe chilvary is dead.
You know the best way to bed the girl you want perhaps on the first night? A tip from a girl; treat her decent. Treat her not like a princess, that would be spoiling her but treat her like a lady. Open doors for her, be chilvarous, be a gentleman. This is even more effective than money spent. I mean I am old fashioned, I like a guy who opens doors for me even if I can open that darn door, I like it if a guy opens for me and I am sure a guy would appreciate a shy smile in return. This is called flirtation.
As for how long a girl should wait, etc, well this is the modern world. Hardly could find anyone who hasn’t had a first time. I despise most those who wears those purity rings only to dress like a complete slut, if you know what I mean or a guy who jumps from girl to girl. Don’t hide behind the purity ring.
It is a choice. Wait if you wish, and if you don’t, damn well be sure you’re a willing participant taking ALL precautions because believe me, not all parents would take care of that parasite in you if you make a mistake. I have someone told me he saw 2 12 year olds holding hands saying I love yous. How cute eh? Puppy love? Knowing kids today, I would believe within months there goes another one.
I do hate it when people say “You have no self respect” if that older person finds out the younger girl or guy slept with someone before marriage. Our bodies is made for that specific purpose and it is made feeling good simply to achieve one goal; pregnancy. That the way we are made biologically. So can’t blame the kids. But you know at least wait until you’re old enough to find work and pay off the education of that kid.
P/S CY the guy can forward the same argument saying “If you love me you will show me” sort of nonsense. So now if “If you love me you will wait” vs “if you love me you will show me”. Believe me the girls will always back down or if the girl is made from stronger stuff, the guy will in the end move on to another. If he doesn’t get it from you, he will get it elsewhere.
P/S CY the guy can forward the same argument saying “If you love me you will show me” sort of nonsense. So now if “If you love me you will wait” vs “if you love me you will show me”. Believe me the girls will always back down or if the girl is made from stronger stuff, the guy will in the end move on to another. If he doesn’t get it from you, he will get it elsewhere.
Funn, if this is the case, I’ll rather he move on because we already are incompatible in our values. How to be together in the long run?
Girls shouldn’t give in to this kind of pressure because not all guys will be responsible if accident happens. If the guy brush his hands off, the girl will have to bear all the consequences. You can’t even sue him for maintenance since you 2 are not married.
Funn, like what Kidd said, if that’s the case then I’d rather he move on because we just have too different values to be able to have a lasting relationship. Besides, I agree that girls don’t and shouldn’t give into this kind of pressure. Guys who use this type of argument just strike me as jerks who are in it to sleep with the girl and then move on and like Kidd pointed out, there’s nothing the girl can do about it if accidents happen and the guy doesn’t want to be responsible. I know that the girl can’t really blame the guy for not taking responsibilty if both parties were willing in the first place but I just don’t see the point of putting oneself through this grief just for a night of fun.
I guess in this aspect I’m quite a prude and old fashioned but I still believe that a girl’s first time is a special thing that should only be shared with her life-long partner aka her husband. If the guy can’t understand that then I guess he just won’t be the one for me.
Kidd, you can sue him on behalf of the child. However the amount is minimal.
I am pretty open minded. I would think it is a personal choice so I am not here to judge on who’s right or wrong. Everybody has their values so I am happy to read there are people in this world who won’t jump into something and not having a set of values.
However just for discussion sake, better check out the goods first. Don’t want to marry a guy into sado masochistic stuff you know. Or someone sexually selfish. Whatever that may be, make sure do a full background check on the guy or girl.
With so much headache sometimes I am rather glad I am alone but like I used to say come Valentine’s day I feel rather too alone!
Yup, to each his/her own. As long as the person is happy with it then it’s their life to lead.
Haha, I’ve had that discussion with my friends before. I guess it would be a good idea, just not sure how to bring it up though. LOL.
Sometimes I also think that the headaches and heartaches that come with relationships are more trouble than they are worth haha, but I guess only time will tell.
You’re right Funn about a very tiny part of men that are still noble, but then how would you able to sort them out? There are guys acting nice all the time just to hit it and quit it. A sort of wolf in sheep’s clothing. In fact, that’s probably the oldest trick in the book. Sure, maybe the guys I hang out with are all dawgs, but to be honest, most of the guys I’ve ever met at least act that way.
So, if you ladies are hanging out with so called “good men”, good for you otherwise they are just (as the Chinese saying goes) luring sheep into the tigers mouth.
Lim, Now that you laid out the gameplan for a one night stand, I would like to take you out on to date. Lets eat somewhere preferably with a lot of doors. =)
I appreciate everyone’s honesty about sexual attitudes in a relationship. When I was in my young teens, I wished to wait to get married and save myself for my future husband. I am glad to hear that these values still exist and that sex is not treated so casually.
As I became older and talked to more friends, this may not always be a realistic scenario though. Overall, guys are engineered biologically differently. A man is usually attracted to a woman physically first and probably thinking of bedding her already on the first date. He may not make the move to do so, but he can certainly think it. Lust and love are often hard to separate in a guy’s mind. For a guy and even some women, I do believe that lust comes first, admiration, mutual respect, and finally love. Even then, love takes awhile to develop.
Dating someone for 1 to 3 months, how well do you know that person that you can say it is real love? What we have in an early part of a relationship is usually a very good friendship, a closeness, and lust. Are these factors enough to make the woman comfortable enough to sleep with the man? Many guys already lust after their girlfriends after the first few dates, so they would have asked already.
From Kidd: “Funn, if this is the case, I’ll rather he move on because we already are incompatible in our values. How to be together in the long run?”
Relationships are about compromise. How long to wait before the relationship turns sexual is also an issue to be compromised. Most guys are okay to wait until the woman feels ready (and this could take months), but not necessarily wait until marriage due to their biological needs.
I believe that one’s sexual attitudes, as with other beliefs and values in life, may evolve as we get older and be shaped by our own experiences, the friends we meet, etc. I also think that the more dating experience a person has (men and women included), the shorter the “waiting time” is before the relationship turns sexual.
I think relationships are difficult to sustain in the mid-term without love and sex, such as 3 to 5 year relationships. Because the man will always want it. I agree with Funn’s view that from a practical standpoint, finding out about each other’s sexual preferences first is a good idea, after you’ve gotten to know each other in other aspects well first.
So in navigating the dating scene, know yourself and what you are looking for. Like EkinFan said, there are wolves hiding in sheep’s clothing: men who are after one thing only. That’s fine as long both people are interestd in having a good time together. Not all dating relationships have to be deep or about marriage. The woman can enjoy the sexual relationship as much as the man (think “Sex and the City”) as long as there are no illusions and deliberate lies of the future or marriage when there are no intentions to do so.
I do believe that we tend to surround ourselves who share the same values and are a reflection of ourselves in some way. Hopefully for the men we date, they share the same values as well. Experience will teach us to be a better judge of other people’s characters. One thing though, do not expect to change a man in a relationship. If he had a “player” past before, don’t expect him to be any different while dating you. Otherwise, it is ignoring the warning flags.
From Kidd: “Girls shouldn’t give in to this kind of pressure because not all guys will be responsible if accident happens. If the guy brush his hands off, the girl will have to bear all the consequences. You can’t even sue him for maintenance since you 2 are not married.”
That’s why birth control should not be left in the guy’s hands alone. A woman should take birth control into her own hands. Not every man will marry you just because you are pregnant. An unwanted child can disrupt our life plans. Our parents may not always be around to help us.
Nice input Jayne.
This Jackie Chan article has turned into a Dear Jayne relationship column.
Thanks for your message Jayne and you addressed some really good points. My parents have always been traditional and don’t believe in premartial sex. I also want to wait until I get married but I know that that may not be realistic. One of my close friends told me that one time since she is experienced. However, she is lucky that she dated only one guy in her whole life and is now married to the same guy too.That is really rare these days.
Besides pregnancy, there should also be STD concerns as well. There are many people who don’t think about this stuff and just go with it to keep a guy. But sadly, the next thing you know, you can suddenly break up with him but have already lost it… I would feel so sad if that happened to me. However, it is the modern times now and things have changed. I guess girls should not be required to still be “virgins” before marriage. But sadly there are people like my mom who thinks that a guy would dump you if he found out that you have lost it. She lives in the old and traditional world though that is just way too ideal for today’s standards.
@EkinFan says: October 25, 2010 at 2:38 pm
You see Jayne, We (men) are kinda already paying for sex the first time you go out on a date with a girl. You take them out, pay for their shit, treat them to a good time and this process could take days before you hit the gold mine.
not all girls are high maintenance. If you choose to go after a high maintenance chick then that’s your choice. You have to prepare to put up the costs!
Have you all read that Karen Owen thesis? That girl certainly gets around and my god, how cruel of her to taunt some of the men. However I do think she was rather honest and strangely enjoyed reading her “experiences” or as she calls it “research”. But how cold and calculating, was she ever in a relationship during her college days at all I wonder?
She is one example you don’t want to be. And to write that report… or thesis as she calls it; internet is perpetual. The entire uncensored document is hard to find but not THAT hard. So it shows, be careful what and who you send your stuff to. 3 people and one of them could forward it to another.
Some men are great actors but lousy parents. Some are lousy parents but greats actors. He is neither. I have no respect for anyone who totally ignores the existence (giving money is TOO EASY, he has more than millions)of your own child? Well, he is an action actor and his movies gave me some laughs and that’s about it. The man, unlike Bruce Lee, has no charisma.
I must agree, in this day and age, men just don’t have the patience to wait and those who do, ofcourse, aren’t plenty. However, i won’t entirely shift the blame on men alone just yet. n this era, when technology and materialism flourish, we want to take a careful look at the thinking of the times and ask ourselves whether or not this is a good age to live in. Science has made great advances in technology and that certainly counts as good. But we should also realize the truth of the saying, “anything taken to the ultimate point transforms into its opposite.” In the case of technological advances, good things also beckon misfortune. Let’s look at television, for example. TV plays a huge role in shaping and fostering how our youth view things.(Internet now becomes the ultimate replacing TV but i wont’ get into that) Have you seen how TV drama and especially reality tv are coming out these days? Girls wearing skimpy clothes and have casual sex with guys. You name it! Kids sit in front of the tv screen all day intaking these kinds of “role model.” i’m not surprised how they will turn out.
From a practical point of view men seeking prostitutes or one-night stands largely revolves around two interrelated concerns of convenience and control.
For most guys, they’ll want it and do it and they move on to do other things. Which is why its so much more convenient to pay or just ‘hook up’ because everyone is on the same page.
There are some guys who understand the base nature of obtaining entirely physical pleasure from sex thus learn to ‘control’ or slowly regulate that arguably instinctive need. People must remember instincts are not necessarily self-serving just because they are instincts.
I think its just modern media has allowed people to be more upfront about their desires and for those people to ‘hook up’. Its giving a positive light, a cool light, to something traditionally seen as taboo to confess regardless how one felt or what one did. It may be the case that people are more open to fulfilling their sexual needs, not necessarily an increase of it. Prostitution is the oldest occupation.
Culturally speaking, ‘sex after marriage’ value is very Christian- and the breakdown of religiosity in the West is the major factor why women now are much more open to one-night-stands also. For the East however, ‘sex after marriage’ was largely a value rooted in male chauvinism. Men only married virgins because psycho-physically, men did not want ‘their property to be tainted’.
If people can understand the breakdown of both those old values in the West and East, the sanctity of ‘sex after marriage’ is not apparent. The idealism sought to replace those two values, that sex is cherished in its own right to be shared with ones’ eternal lover, is fated to die because our world today teaches us no ‘ideal’ is definite. Further if you can grasp the fact your ‘body’ is no more valuable to every other person, subject to wear and tear, separated to the mind- you can no longer argue there is much to ‘cherish’. Is not medical surgery just as invasive as sex?
Wow, what an objective point of view. Based purely on reason alone, you are absolutely right, SDS. But for many people, including myself, as much as I see no apparent meaning in giving up physical intimacy later on, emotionally, it does leave an impact.
I cannot say that I’m not affected emotionally on the issue as sex brings people closer together – cements the intimate relationship, if you will. You don’t just do that with anyone (though you can.)
Most girls strive to build an emotional relationship with their s.o. first before they do the act. It makes the act so much more meaningful, and also tests the sincerity of the men they date.
If you want to look at this objectively – women are the egg holders, and it is men’s desire to seek them out in order to produce the next generation. From a biological standpoint, however, it takes a lot of physical and environmental resources to nurture children. So women HAVE to be choosy with whom they entrust their eggs to.
Thus, it makes sense why women would be withholding intimacy more than men. Main point: don’t have sex with the guy unless you don’t care if you might end up getting impregnated by him.
I know you might counter that condoms, birth control, etc. are all modern conveniences which helps to curb pregnancies. But these are biological instincts ingrained in women.
We don’t give until we are sure men are here to stay. And it should be that way.
I know someone that would frequent “massage” parlors often. Recently I heard he had contracted AIDS. Do I feel sorry for him… HELL NO! You get what you deserve.
ok. first people should not be poking in somebodies personal life and second bumbarding people about embarrasing questions is not right its rude and hurt full and he’s human everyone makes mistakes, it happens
Many husbands give nothing to their wives. Jackie Chan can be considered very generous towards Elaine Ng. I heard that he is paying her lot – more than what our Malaysian professional women are earning. The woman we should sympathize with is Joan Lin Feng Chiao! I hope that she is living happily now but how can she really be happy when her husband …
Funny how you all seem to disregard that if Jackie’s inital comment was made in his native language of Cantonese it’s the person who translated into English that may be to blame. If it was translated word for word without an ounce of emotion in it, then it’s no wonder something crap comes out of it! You all just amuse me!
So, what should be the correct translation for his comment? Maybe you can do more justice to Jackie’s words?
Hi Jayne
Bumped into this website of yours. Love this post of yours. I totally agree with you that a lot of men out there are into child prostitution now. They thought they won’t get transmitted by any disease and only need to pay much lower price than the other prostitutes! They just simply love satisfying their lust without even thinking of the consequences
AnTheGreat,
Are men into child prostitutes simply for price and concern for Sexually-transmitted diseases? Or there is a greater sexual perversion at work? I think it’s their attraction to a child’s innocence and glee in the power and domination of a young body and spirit.