Kong Wah Learns to Love Only at 40

Leaving TVB around year 2004, former actor Kong Wah (江華) hit rock bottom in life after developing a slipped disc which left him in pain for three years, during which he couldn’t lie down, stand, or sit.

Grasping The Fragility of Life

Kong Wah left TVB after filming The Conqueror’s Story <楚漢驕雄>. About a year or two later, while filming the mainland Chinese film Romance of Red Dust <風塵三俠之紅拂女> with Shu Qi (舒淇) and Wallace Huo (霍建華) when he suddenly felt excruciating pain in his lower back while doing sit-ups in bed.

He recalled, “I thought it was just a twist, but it turned out the disc between L4 and L5 had herniated and was pressing on the nerve,” That one incident turned into three years, during which he lost a lot of weight, and even became mentally disoriented from the pain and stress.

Kong Wah’s doctor had given him three options of spinal traction, injections, or surgery, but devastated him with his final remark that “Even if you try all of them, there’s still no guarantee it’ll work.” The ordeal completely changed his outlook on life, as he realized how small and powerless humans are.

“We’re not that amazing. You might think you’re capable and strong, but life can take everything away in an instant.” Kong Wah eventually chose injections for his treatment due to his Christian faith. “I heard, ‘Go get the injection,’ and I followed that voice”, he said, eventually recovering.

Attaining self-growth and fulfilment through the years, Kong Wah shares a life lesson, believing that we are all creatures of habit, and that unhappiness can be unlearned. He advised, “When something makes you unhappy, change how you think. Shorten the duration of that emotion. Maybe in the past, you’d stay angry for a month, a year, or even a lifetime—but if you shorten it, everything changes. I’m practicing it, and it works—really well!”

Relearning what it means to love only at 40 years

Having gone through illness and teetering on the edge of depression, he learned to cherish the present and began reflecting on the roles he played in life—an actor, a husband, a father, a son, but realized he “hadn’t done well in any of them”.

Sharing that he had neglected his wife and even avoided going home in the earlier years of marriage, often drinking outside with friends, he credited his wife Connie Mak Kit-man (麥潔文), whose wisdom and strength had been pivotal to sustaining their 30-year marriage. “If she were just an ordinary woman, we would’ve divorced—definitely!” When asked if there was ever a moment he realized how much he loved his wife, Kong Wah was surprisingly candid, admitting that he had many chances to be with other women, but never thought of divorce. “Every young man has his wild side, but I have a bottom line — I would never divorce my wife for someone else. Call me a jerk, whatever, but that’s my line. If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t make that choice.

On Not Running Away When Things Get Hard

During the time he was unable to work, rumors circulated that the family was in financial trouble and that his wife Connie had to teach singing to support the household. Kong Wah laughed and pointed out, “Let’s be honest, how much can one earn teaching singing? If she could support the entire household just from that, then congrats! We had savings. And I’ve always said, life can be simple—it all depends on your expectations.”

Reflecting on how Connie quietly stayed by his side when he battled his illness, he shared, “The most touching thing in a relationship is when someone stays with you through everything. We pledged during our vows: in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth. We were just fulfilling that promise—not running away when things get hard.”

Bringing Joy to Others  

Making headlines for going into insurance, but later quitting after a year as he felt that the trade wasn’t for him, Kong Wah seems to have found a new path recently, becoming active on TikTok instead. Although his first attempt at livestream selling was chaotic, he was introduced to other streaming platforms and found new inspiration. “Turns out there are people who really like me. I’m retired now, not doing much—why not do something meaningful? My wife and I treat it like hosting a little show, while entertaining others. It’s quite fun.”

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