Raymond Lam Reveals His Ex Was Too Critical
In contrast to their previous private nature, Raymond Lam (林峯) and his wife Carina Zhang (张馨月) openly shared details of their marriage on reality show Viva La Romance 5 <妻子的浪漫旅行 5>. Earlier, Raymond even disclosed how had proposed to Carina. The actor cherished Carina’s supportive nature, as opposed to his ex-girlfriend who was too controlling.
When asked about his past relationships, Raymond said an ex-girlfriend had tried to force her values and way of thinking on him. In his efforts to please her, he would do things that he did not actually enjoy. She would often tell him that he was not good enough, and would ask him to learn different things. When he started to feel very inferior, Raymond realized this was not a healthy relationship and they eventually broke up.
As his most recent ex-girlfriends were Karena Ng (吳千語) and Chinese model Pan Shuangshuang (潘霜霜), netizens suspect that his revelation referred to one of them!
In contrast to his volatile ex-girlfriend, Carina speaks gently and knows how to accommodate Raymond. As long as he likes something, she will let him do it and support him, making him feel loved.
“My wife is grateful for my previous experiences, because that has molded me into the person that I am today. It has also affected our values and views on love, allowing us to be even more grateful for the happiness we have now,” Raymond said.
While Raymond felt Carina was a good match for him, she faced public criticism due to her lingerie model past. She said, “I feel guilty because my husband was originally [very popular], and I seem to have affected [his image] negatively. I don’t want to affect him, and I hope that many people will like him because he is really talented. He is great in many areas of life, including work and family.”
Other female guests on Viva La Romance 5 felt that the man should stand up for the woman in a relationship, and Qin Hailu (秦海璐) questioned if her husband could not protect her, then why should she marry him. Carina revealed that Raymond had offered his help, but she had told him not to intervene because she does not want him to be affected. Qin Hailu advised Carina to not overthink the situation, as she and Raymond are in a very loving marriage and should bravely continue their journey.
When asked to record a short message for Raymond to express her feelings, Carina became emotional and broke into tears while saying, “Don’t have too much pressure–I will work hard at becoming stronger. I love you and believe that as long as there is love, then anything can be resolved.” Raymond was very touched as he watched the recording afterward.
Source: Sky Post
This article is written by Kiki for JayneStars.com.
Months After Breakup, Raymond Lam and Karena Ng Finally Open Up
I think there are 3 different views that should be discussed while Raymond only discussed 2.
Here are my 3 and the first 2 are Raymond’s:
1) Carina speaks gently and knows how to accommodate Raymond. As long as he likes something, she will let him do it and support him, making him feel loved.
2) Raymond said an ex-girlfriend had tried to force her values and way of thinking on him. In his efforts to please her, he would do things that he did not actually enjoy.
3) A partner should speak in a level-headed way at most times but has every right to speak up and have emotions if the opposing party is doing something that’s self-sabotaging or disrespectful. For me, #3 is the highest level of care and love and not #1.
In no way am I saying Raymond is wrong. What I am saying is he’s confusing incompatible with wrong. Anything incompatible is going to feel forced. His said his ex “forced” her views on him. I don’t understand how anyone can force their views on you because that’s a really strong word and Raymond is an adult. Raymond is from mainland and spent most of his life in Asia although he went to the US for college so I think the best fit for him is a mainland female. He never admitted Pang Shuangshuang was girlfriend and playing victim was his exit. Pang Shuangshuang is from mainland and could have been the ideally wife for him if only he liked her and not just wanted to have a physical relationship with her.
@jesspepperwang
I agree with you that #3 should be more valued. Raymond is so use to having his way and basically being spoilt, clearly no one ever told him no. Anytime an ex-girlfriend has opposing values and opinions he deems them “incompatible.” He just wants a girl that complies with whatever he wants and accommodates him in every situation, which is what he found in Carina.
@hbc1
Not sure if that is the case…His dad did not like Pan Shuang Shuang at all so that affected their relationship too. I hope he learns to let his wife have her own thoughts too. Otherwise, I don’t see this marriage being blissful or happy. They both need to accommodate each other.
@jesspepperwang The theme that comes to my mind after watching him in the program..whinger…
He must suffer from level of low self confidence thus his exs remarks affects him so much.
Anyway, regardless how his exs commented about him. He is now married. Really not cool to bring up the past. No need to push his exs down just to Prop his wife.
Honestly, it is rather off putting.
I just lost some respect for Raymond. It’s one thing to compliment and praise your wife, it’s another to bash your exes, and it’s not the first time. It also seems like he wants a pleaser and a yes girl, basically a trophy wife.
@tocar
Well to be fair, some of his exes did not talk highly of him either… He is married now so I wonder why he has to talk about his exes for?
@hetieshou Two wrongs don’t make a right. Why bring the exs girlfriend up? Honestly, he could have used this program to positively highlight this couples relationship. No need for such negative comments. I sense a Victim card game here.
@hohliu
Oh yea, that is true and maybe his ex’s did many things to hurt him in the past so we never know. However, yes he should just forget it. There is no point in bringing it up now. The past is the past…
@tocar I agree…to push others just to prop his wife is really not justifiable. And Not a manly thing to do…such a whinger..
Heh reminds me of my husband. He’s all about no celebrating any holidays. But then gets all upset if I even mention spending Vday with someone else. It’s not a problem as long as HE wants it, but as soon as I want it, then it becomes a problem.
Some men like having a ‘yes’ woman. The mother in laws love that too. They don’t argue and never bring an opinion and let you do whatever you prefer. The problem with this is, the man is not pushed and will lack the ambition and motivation in career. They will also not learn or know about their short comings….
@jimmyszeto
Very true but I think they will have problems down the line if they don’t learn to compromise and respect each other’s opinions and all. I have a cousin like that and he always thinks he is right even when he is not. When anyone goes against him, there are problems because he refuses to back down and admit wrong. His wife is not the obedient kind too so they often argue and have a very unhappy marriage. I hope Raymond learns to yield to his wife too or else, I honestly don’t see this marriage being blissful or happy even if they try to last for whatever reasons.
I only know about the other ex Karina but had to goggle this Pan Shuangshuang. He certainly has/had different tastes when it comes to women. The ex Karina was like a standard HK stick figure while this PSS is the total opposite. That body figure is something else. haha lol….One thing is for sure he seems to be more compatible and attracted to mainland ladies.
@wm2017 maybe because these mainland ladies are more docile and ready to serve lol
@tocar
No way… it depends on the person as many mainland women are not docile and ready to serve at all.
My hubby told me I am too strong and independent minded for his liking too…Lol. But he is still married to me all these years and he said he is happy.. I guess to each his own.
But to be honest, I really dont rate any guys who pull out their exs… it is gone and dusted. No need to bring them up to explain anything. Putting them down to prop your current wife up is really not cool at all.
@hohliu
I agree and regardless of gender, it is not a good thing to bring up your ex’s just to prop your current husband or wife up.
I didn’t see the video, but based on this article, what he said wasn’t so out of line. They were generalities that can apply to any relationship. A partner can and should introduce the other to new ideas, but shouldn’t put them down. If you feel inferior in a relationship or your values are too different, you are incompatible and should each find a better fit.
Funny about the speculations. He was much older and more successful than those 2, it’s hard to imagine him feeling inferior to them. Raymond must have had many girlfriends, could be anyone or conglomerate that he is referring to.
“Carina speaks gently and knows how to accommodate Raymond. As long as he likes something, she will let him do it and support him, making him feel loved.”
—— Okay…..he just wants someone passive and submissive. That’s nothing rare. It’s quite typical of Asian men to look for women with those kind of traits. I mean, let’s not forget how some Asian men loved the ideal Japanese wife qualities.
@rika
Funny how you mentioned that as my cousin married a Japanese girl and she is not passive and submissive. But she is a good mother and wife.