Roxanne Tong Doesn’t Need to Get Married: “I’m Not a Traditional Woman”
In a steady relationship with Kenneth Ma (馬國明) for one year, Roxanne Tong (湯洛雯) is often asked when they plan to get married. The 34-year-old actress debunks rumors that the couple is planning a secret wedding this August. Although many of her close friends are already happily married, Roxanne states that she does not necessarily need to get married or have children in a relationship.
“Marrying Well”
In an earlier episode of talk show Master’s Talk <師父有請>, Roxanne appeared with close friends Tracy Chu (朱千雪), Jennifer Shum (岑杏賢), and Angel Chiang (蔣家旻). The topic of the episode was “marrying well,” and the friends chatted about their significant partners.
In the eyes of many people, Tracy and Jennifer have married well. Tracy’s husband works as a doctor and Jennifer’s husband works in the financial industry. Jennifer admitted that she is “very shallow” and was initially not attracted to her husband at all, “His physical appearance was just not my type of tea.” After getting to know him better, Jennifer admitted, “He had a lot of great qualities than I had imagined.”
When Tracy was asked if she found her husband handsome, she paused for three seconds before answering which caused everyone to burst out laughing. She exclaimed that everything is fine as long as she finds him handsome. “I’ve known my husband since I was young, so I feel very safe. I also don’t have to waste a lot of time in getting to know him, and I feel very comfortable talking to him. We have been in a long distance relationship for many years, and have a lot of trust for each another,” Tracy revealed.
During her eight years in the entertainment industry, Tracy disclosed that she was never romantically pursued. Roxanne teased that she knew the reason why–if someone asked for Tracy’s telephone number, she would just tell them to send her an email. Tracy did not feel the need to exchange telephone numbers with a male co-star, because if he needed anything, he could just speak with the production assistant. As she does not like meeting many different people, Tracy prefers to just stay with a group of friends who makes her feel comfortable.
Tracy is very rational and would never mix up real life and emotions in dramas. She would even avoid unnecessary sexy and kissing scenes after dating her boyfriend. “There was a scene where I was supposed to fall from the rooftop. The male lead had to hold onto me, and in the process would rip my shirt and expose my shoulder in a sexy manner. It’s not that I don’t want to be sexy, but I’m not skinny so there’s no point! I’m afraid that netizens would screen cap and say that my arms are fat.” She ended up sewing her tank top to the outer shirt, so that only a little bit of shoulder would be exposed.
Registered as a barrister specializing in civil and criminal litigation, Tracy is currently working at a law firm, but she still wants to work as an entertainer and achieve a balance between her personal life and career. She added that she is very afraid of giving birth because she is afraid of gaining weight.
Roxanne Likes to Date Men Like Her Father
Seeing her close friends achieve personal milestones such as getting married and having children did not change Roxanne’s mind. “Each person’s path is different; the most important thing is that it’s suitable for yourself and makes you happy. If I feel it’s the right time, then I’ll do it. I’m not the type of person to plan everything, as there’s a lot of pressure.”
Roxanne’s parents are opposites and a perfect match. The actress likes to date men who are like her father, because he is very obedient and loves his family. On how she gets along with boyfriend Kenneth Ma, Roxanne said, “I like to talk, and Kenneth Ma is a man of few words. His usual phrases are, ‘Whatever you like’, ‘That’s pretty good’, ‘I’m indifferent’, and ‘I’m so annoyed.’”
Roxanne: “I’m Not a Traditional Woman”
Ever since making their relationship public last May, the pair has been bombarded with questions about their marriage plans. Although she does not feel a lot of pressure, she is tired of all the questions.
An easygoing person, Roxanne believes in the natural dynamics of a relationship and is flexible about marriage. Admitting that she and Kenneth have discussed the issue, she said, “We have a mutual understanding of a normal couple, but we didn’t discuss it exactly because we really don’t have the intention to get married yet. I want to focus on work first, so the rumors about our wedding in August are impossible.”
Asked if she would have a flash marriage without warning, Roxanne replied, “It’s possible, but maybe I might not get married either. I’m not a traditional woman, and I don’t need to necessarily get married. When I was younger, I thought about having children, but now I don’t want to plan everything as they may not happen that way anyway. So it’s better to just go with the flow.”
As to whether Kenneth feels a rush to get married, Roxanne said, “No, he’s very chill, even more than me.” Roxanne added that her parents are also very understanding, and has not given her any pressure to get married or that she must have children.
This article is written by Kiki for JayneStars.com.
I feel many women these days are very disillusioned by marriage…. and those who are independent and able to support themselves really do not see the point of marriage…there are many who have kids without being married… I am a happily married person..I cannot imagine not marrying my hubby. I am clearly a tradionalist.
@hohliu
You don’t need to be traditional in order to desire marriage. But what I don’t get is, if you truly love anyone and want to spend the rest of their lives then why not just marry them? I feel if you don’t want to marry anyone then it means you have second thoughts. Plus, if you are not officially married then there are many things you are not qualified or allowed to do like sigh health consent forms, inherit things,etc… Basically, you are technically not family even if you lived together for 40 years. I find it sad that many don’t value marriage at all but the LBGT community has to fight so hard just for that basic right while heterosexual couples just take it for granted.
I am glad you are happily married and hope to be one day myself. I actually went to a fortune teller and he said I will marry late in life but will be happily married. My classmates who claimed to know how to palm read said my love life will be stable and happy but will occur late in my life. I wonder how true that is? Time will tell all.
@hohliu
I wonder what happened to my comment?
@hetieshou I wonder too…LOL>
@hetieshou I read your comment on my page but it is not visible here… I wonder which of the words you type that trigger the block? I hope you will find a good partner one day too..
@hohliu
I did not know that you still saw it in your page. Thanks for your wishes and I believe in fate. If anything is meant to be then it is if not then you cannot force it.
I got to say I feel a bit uncomfortable about her saying that she likes guys like her dad who are obedient. I truly wonder if her mom picks on her dad and controls him… if so, I hope she does not do it to Kenneth.
@hetieshou I take “obedient” as someone who does things for and with his family, even though he may prefer to spend time with his friends, etc. Listening to your wife does not mean she abuses him, just like how a wife listens to her husband isn’t necessarily bad as long as there is give and take. She said someone who loves his family which is admirable because there are spouses that cheat, spend, or doesn’t place the family first.
@potatochip yeah it’s literally a direct translation in the original article from 乖, which could basically mean well behaved or good. I think she means Kenneth is not an impulsive person and prioritizes family… If impressions mean anything I think Roxanne would be the last to be controlling and mean.
@bubbles23
Thanks and I was about to check the Chinese text to see which word they actually used. I don’t think obedient is the best word to use big things are always lost in translation as the original is always best.
@potatochip
True and I was about to check the text in Chinese. Obedient is most likely not the right word to use here.
Getting married is usually a nail in the coffin for many actresses anyway lol, better to get married later if she wants to pursue career.
@xystus
Not necessarily as things should not be that much different after marriage. I find it sad that many think that marriage is the end of your career or own life. That should not be the case. I wonder if that is why many people are opposing marriage and think so negatively of it.
@hetieshou It’s because marriage involve more than just two person, especially when there’s pregnancy involved. Aimee Chan, Eliza Sam, Linda Chung, these are few very good examples of why marriage that lead to pregnancy usually spell the end of their careers. It’s unthinkable for mothers to spend most of their days filming for drama, it’s just not a good choice at all. I’d rather they spend their days nurturing their children than working.
Other than that marriage to rich spouse like Gigi Lai is also common. Would you rather spend most of your days working and earning meager wages or would you rather call it quit and be a rich wife instead?
Marriage is just not the husband and wife as well, sometimes they involve family obligations too, like taking care of mother/father in laws. I also don’t believe in healthy marriage relationship if both are working in acting industry. Separate and long working hour usually lead to strained relationship because you don’t even see your husband or wife more than you see your co-worker. It’s just not a nice position to be in.
@xystus
True but that can be only a period of time and you can still work part time and if you want or need to. It just depends on how much you want to. Some just depend on their spouse and choose not to work at all.
About Gigi Lai and others like her, I honestly would rather work myself as it is not good to depend on anyone financially too much. Anything can happen like divorce, your spouse passing away, etc.. you never know as the unpredictable happens a lot. Those who have not experienced that may not understand it. Also, if they only married for money then they will not be emotionally happy which is not a good thing.
I don’t believe that just because they both work in the entertainment industry that they cannot be happy. It just depends.. There are many happy couples who are both in the circle. One of the good things is their schedule is flexible so if they manage it well, then they can work things out. They can take on one big project a year and some little ones, take turns, etc… that is what Ruby and Wallace are doing. Long distance can make the distance grow but like I have said, you can work it out by only partially working instead of working all the time. Sometimes when you are separated for awhile is when you grow fonder of each other too. Dicky Cheung and his wife are doing that and they are still as happy as ever. It just depends on the couple. Sometimes seeing each other too much is when conflict occurs.
@hetieshou I don’t even know who the hell are Wallace and Ruby lmao, kinda prove my point there, no? How do you get your acting career into the limelight if you work part time? Make no sense. You can’t pursue both at the same time. You either sacrifice your career (from back to back leading role like Eliza Sam previously to per contract drama) or you sacrifice your family time. There’s just no in between and expect both to be successful. Like Dicky, his acting career slowed down after getting married, that’s only natural. You just can’t get the best out of both.
@xystus
Think what you want then as you definitely can as many have shown. You just slow down your career but not necessarily give it up completely. It is hard but doeable.
@hetieshou You have yet to give me a convincing example of rising and/or lead actress that still prove to be as successful after marriage.
@xystus
Even if I did, you don’t know them at all. I did not say they will be just as popular after marriage! I just said you can get married, have a family and still work too. What does success have to do with it?You don’t even know Ruby and Wallace so that shows something. Even if not for marriage, who can stay popular and successful forever? No one!
Almost half of marriages end in divorce, and those that are still married aren’t necessarily happy. I am not surprised she doesn’t find marriage to be her end goal. Life should be more than marriage. Those that happily married, good for them. Those who don’t want to be married or have divorced, good for them too. It is not a moral failing to want different relationship styles.
Goodness, Kenneth does not sound engaged. I can’t imagine living my entire life with someone who only responds to conversations that way. I hope this is an exaggeration.
@potatochip hahaha yeah strangely everyone’s impression of Kenneth is that he’s boring and wooden but after the tiger talk interviews imo he’s a people person and knows how to appeal to others. Look at his dating record (forget JWong), it’s actually pretty impressive.
@potatochip Lol my SiL’s husband is very similar to Kenneth. she often complains it’s like talking to a wall, no reaction lol. they can’t even fight because he doesn’t fight. but they do have their own way of showing agitation/annoyance. maybe that’s better than those super verbal couples that fight out loud all the time.
She’s chill about it and she claims Kenneth Ma is chill with it, so the rest of world can just chill out as well. She has men figures in her life that shaped her idea of an “ideal” husband. Everything she says seems natural to me and not wrong nor right.
Wow, Jennifer Shum is very brave to call out her husband’s looks as unattractive. But it’s still different for women than it is for men to say their partner isn’t good-looking. So much rides on a woman’s physical looks in society. A man doesn’t need it so much.
And, as for Tracy, lol. Well, at least she’s honest.
@coralie Lol…haha I actually love women being honest that their other halves are just normal looking and not handsome/pretty. I remember Big & Small S ( the taiwanese duo ) comparing which of their husbands is more handsome and those utube comments were so damn funny. like both both of them are AVERAGE JOES some can even say homely like WTH are you comparing even if they are trying to make fun of it? haha I agree so I think it’s quite cool to admit my hubby/wife is not that good looking but that doesn’t change anything or matters. It’s never always about looks anyway. lol
@wm2017 i think so too. because like you said, it’s honest and shows openness. but if the husband says it…idk, i dont think i will laugh about that. in private it’s ok to say stuff like that, but not in public!
@wm2017
Yet everyone was trashing Alex Fong for saying his wife is not pretty. I find it equally offensive for a woman to call their man ugly. Looks are important for a man too.
@hetieshou All 3 women were genuine and comical in their responses. It’s a messed up question coming from the interviewer to begin with, so I am with @wm2017 on this one. Of all the double standards in favor of men in this society, I am pretty sure men can handle one loss. Also, a woman’s physical looks are only prized so highly because that’s how men choose them. These 3 women are living proof that they didn’t choose their partners based on looks. The day we hear majority of man saying “I chose my wife because she is responsible, ambitious, and tough” is the day I’ll say men don’t choose women based on looks. Please not this is not to negate women don’t choose men based on looks but simply not as much.
@jesspepperwang
Well you get some you lose some…. My late parents always say that men like “se” which is beauty while women like wealth which is “cai”. I admit that looks are more important for a woman but you still should not cal, your spouse ugly regardless of your gender. I actually have men in my family that chose a women for more than looks. There are 2 in my family which are my 4th brother and one of my cousins. Both their wives are not physically attractive at all. They actually said they choose their wives because they are kind hearted and have a good character. Not all guys are shallow and go for looks only. But anyways, on the same token people don’t pick on women as much when they don’t have a lot of wealth too. You get some you lose some. I don’t like favoring men or women as I believe in equality.
I am very happy for Roxanne and Kenneth in finding each other. They both seem to know what they are doing and appreciate each other’s character. I like it that they are not getting pressure to getting married or have kids. I think as long as they are comfortable with each other, they will automatically head down that road.