Sammi Cheng Chooses to Forgive Husband’s Cheating
Andy Hui (許志安) and Jacqueline Wong’s (黃心穎) cheating scandal has taken Hong Kong by storm, making headlines beyond the entertainment columns. Andy, Jacqueline, and even Jacqueline’s boyfriend Kenneth Ma (馬國明) have all made apologies and statements, with the exception of the scandal’s biggest victim, Andy’s wife Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文), who had stayed silent throughout the debacle, until now.
On Thursday, three days after the scandal broke out, Sammi finally broke the silence with a statement released on Instagram. Fans have been worried for the Cantopop queen, who has a history of depression. She had an on-again, off-again relationship with Andy for years before they finally married in 2013.
Sammi, a Christian, shared a biblical quote from the book of Corinthians: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” In her statement, Sammi said she has chosen to forgive her husband, and that this incident had been an “important lesson” in their marriage.
Her statement is as follows:
“This [incident] was an important lesson in our marriage. We’ve experienced many emotional ups and downs together during this time, and we have also communicated about this incident very deeply. This is a lesson for us as husband and wife, and it will continue to be a lesson to learn from in the future of our marriage. In marriage, not only can we give each other happiness and warmth, there is also a place for mistakes and forgiveness. No one is flawless. That saying may be old, but it is true.
“The most important thing is that [we have] taken a step deeper into understanding and experiencing the true essence of marriage. True happiness isn’t about being satisfied all the time. There will be tests. There will be a time when we have to experience highs and lows so we can be more emotionally connected, to be able to enter each other’s innermost feelings, to envisage our individual weaknesses together, to not give up on yourself, to not give up on each other, to correct each other, to advise each other. In this ongoing journey on learning about marriage, I strongly believe that experience and lessons will bring us back on the right track, our lives reborn.
“In this difficult time, I hope we will hold our hands together and pray. It will help us greatly. Today, the heavy burden on my shoulder has lessened quite a bit. I just hope that everything will calm down soon, bringing back peace. Finally, I respectfully ask the media to stop chasing after my aging parents. I have nothing more to say. From today onwards, I will only look forward. Time will tell. We will walk forward one step at a time.”
Source: On.cc
This article is written by Addy for JayneStars.com.
Disappointed, but not surprised. Sammi has to forgive him to let this scandal die down, but I honestly don’t see how they can rebuild their trust/marriage because of how public the scandal has gotten.
Religion? Sigh….Scary actually to be able to come up w/all those BS reasoning’s…..lol..Sorry!!
One of my male colleague actually said the same thing to me about religion and about forgiveness. He says he has a friend who also gives all kinds of excuses for some things over religion. Sometimes he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry as for non-religious people like us it’s probably really a load of BS…. lol
@wm2017 that’s true. My thoughts exactly. But I shall refrain from criticising ppl on religion but truthfully it’s really a load of BS. My friend actually thought she will forgive him even before she announces it and she said if it happened to her, she would also choose the same route as Sammi. Emm can’t understand it but then I guess 28 years together is a long time. But frankly speaking unless I have a few kids with me I would consider staying otherwise as a rich & independent woman like Sammi (with no kids some more), I would definitely ditch him. Ah but then all the best to Sammi. ♥️
@nigel @wm2017 I concur with you. Sammi forgave him too easily. Should let that cheating scumbag suffer the hate from the public for a longer time and let him reflect on his mistake. Maybe publicly she forgives him but in private it’s a different story.
@wm2017 Sammi’s response is exactly what I would expect from a woman of faith. I share the same faith as her and was at one point just as devout, which is why I understand exactly where she is coming from…to be honest, if it were me back then and I was in her position, I probably would’ve done the same thing….but over the years, I’ve realized there are many things religion dictates that I don’t actually agree with, which is why I’m now no longer a devout follower. Regardless of how I feel about her forgiving Andy so quickly (for the record, I feel she shouldn’t have forgiven him that easily — she should’ve waited and let him suffer a bit), at the end of the day, the decision is hers and I will respect it. Personally though, it will be awkward seeing them together in the future without thinking of this incident.
@llwy12 Well, according to the Bible, she has the right to end the marriage if Andy committed adultery, but she has chosen to forgive him. Yes, there are many things wrong with religion, because men create rules for people to follow. However, Christ followers only need need to obey God through what is written in the Bible. For the words of God is greater than any word of man. It is the LORD whom we follow, not man. I am a devoted follower of GOD alone, not any man nor any religion.
I suspected she will forgive because she is Sammi. But I was hoping she does not do it so quickly. It will be good for him to go thru the process of waiting for forgiveness for a period of one week or two, at most a month. .
For some people, forgiveness too early is not healthy for them. But this is between them. I just wrote my opinion.
She has a big heart. Her popularity will skyrocket.
Although I support Sammi’s decision but arggggghhhh!!!!!!! RELIGION! I felt a tad misleading now because I am a Christian as well. HOWEVER, does this means for the sake of being a devoted Christian, we have to be the victims and be the ones to forgive always?????? What does this implies? Does this means it is OK for my future bf or hubby or any guys to think that “Oh it’s ok to cheat, I just need to sincerely apologise because my gf/wife is a Christian and she will forgive me” I am utterly lost……………………….. what else now? #loosewoman #vixen #homewrecker like Jacqueline kind of person must have thought “Oh it’s ok, Sammi has a big heart, a devoted Christian, she will forgive us for sure” sharks man……… SIGH
@sun5shine4eve6 imagine if it’s the other way round? Can the guy forgive his wife who cheats? Emm
@nigel yeah, now I wonder Kenneth is a Christian too or not? SIGH It’s really hard for me to digest all these like literally… Yeah, can a guy forgive his wife or gf who cheats? That said, most likely the guy is a Christian and will forgive cheating wife or gf? Sharks man……I felt that we are still human beings after all despite whatever religion right? Sigh……
@sun5shine4eve6 Emm somehow I beg to differ on this. In our society esp Asian, it’s hard for guys to swallow wearing the “green cap” but it’s absolutely acceptable for guys to be a Casanova though. I meant look at this case per se… an independent woman like Sammi is willing to forgive so easily citing biblical verses but our society will not be as forgiving on the female who commit the same offence. In this case for Jacqueline, there’s no turning back at all. She is considered gone.
@nigel I totally agree with you. Let’s just leave it to our Heavenly Father to punish those #homewreaker #vixen
@nigel
Yea Asian society has always been having a double standard for men and women. Men are easily forgiven and any bad deeds they do will be dismissed as “boys will be boys” and in this case “men will be men”. It is so insulting to the real good faithful men. To me Andy Hui is as good as gone.
@sun5shine4eve6 I’m a Christian as well and speaking from experience, it really depends on how devoted you are to the faith and how you apply its doctrine to your life. A Christian friend — someone I greatly admire and respect — once told me that everyone’s relationship with God is different and there is no “one size fits all” method to practicing your faith — just because you disagree with certain parts of the doctrine and therefore don’t practice it doesn’t make you any less of a Christian. I have some Christian friends who are super devout to the point of obsessive (you know, the annoying type who are preaching about the faith everywhere they go and chastising people who participate in any activity that is considered secular — even I can’t stand them, lol) while others are more laid back and rarely ever talk about their faith in public and definitely don’t try to force their beliefs on others but are still devoted regardless.
In the HK entertainment industry alone, there are many artists who are Christians, but not everyone is vocal about it and they practice it in different ways (which is perfectly fine). Some are more devout than others, some are only Christians in name but not in practice, etc. Basically, there are different levels of belief and not every Christian will handle things the same way, so I would say just go with what works for you.
By the way — Andy is supposedly a Christian as well, as he had to convert to the faith otherwise Sammi wouldn’t have married him (yes, it is part of the faith that Christians have to marry Christians)….but look what still happened (my guess is that Andy is not a practicing Christian and probably not even an actual believer…he probably took up the religion just to appease Sammi…)
@llwy12
I don’t think we should just believe that the main reason Sammi forgives Andy is because of religion. The likely main reason is that she still loves Andy and they have been so much together through the last few decades. Losing him will make her life incomplete and she probably can’t imagine living without him. Religion will help her keep calm though and analyse the situation. I don’t believe in any religion and really against it but if it gives people the peace of mind and reasons of life then it isn’t so bad..
@jimmyszeto i actually think faith had the most to do with her decision. if this was the old her, she would’ve not stand for this. she used to be very temperamental and self-centered. i specifically remember her saying this about herself in the past and one of the core reasons why she and Andy broke up before. her religion really changed her and helped her cope with difficulties in her life. as well as restraining her bad side. and even if it’s not her faith, her instagram is filled with religious people who tell her to forgive. like i kid you not, there are zillions of those messages. they say they’ll support her no matter her decision, which yes, can be interpreted as you can go solo and we’ll still encourage you.
but compounding that is her history with Andy and her love for him. but i think her religion has the most to do with it.
@coralie
Never ever been a supporter of any religion. It might offend people but I feel it’s always a brainwash and it can target vulnerable people. Some beliefs are of course harmless but in some cases religion can be interpreted in an extreme way which can be dangerous. Just based on the histories of all the wars that have originated from difference in religion proves the case.
@jimmyszeto Agreed. On the other hand, it has done some good in the world, since it encourages people to help others in need and provide a community and support for vulnerable minds. Religion is a tool, like guns are. They themselves aren’t evil, but it’s too easy for others to use it against others and misdirect its usage. That’s why religions need oversight.
But like I said, it’s not all bad. It helps some people find peace and sleep at night. Or restructure their paths in life. Sammi is one of them, so is Ada Choi. They probably experienced some very effed up things or had a hard time coping in life in order to believe so fervently in god.
Now, that being said, when it comes to cheating, I used to be on the 100% leaving camp. But as I’ve gotten older, I start to question my firm stance on that. Many couples who have experienced infidelity were able to mend and strengthen their relationships after obstacles like this. It is not a 100% death sentence. Yes, the party who did the cheating is always at fault, but that doesn’t mean the other party did nothing to contribute to that problem. Sometimes the cracks begin to show before the cheating even happens, but the other party didn’t notice it. So now I don’t think someone is necessarily weak for taking back their partner after infidelity. It could be they both acknowledge their own part in the lapse of their relationship and wanting to learn how to fix it.
@coralie If the relationship was deteriorating and falling apart, then the person who was considering cheating should have had the courage and the honesty to speak up and suggest separation or a way to fix the issue. As a spouse you have the duty and responsibility to remain faithful in good times and bad; its in the goddamn vow when you marry. You dont just start looking for a temporary distraction or escape to forget the problems or the stress at home. That’s the cowardly and selfish and abhorrent path to take. Yes, both parties may have flaws but you don’t just give up without even trying to talk it through. Cheating essentially means you have no regard for your marriage anymore because wouldn’t you even consider for a fleeting moment your partner’s feelings or how you would feel if they cheated on you? They cheat because they stopped caring already.
Another note is that if he wasn’t caught, it definitely would have continued for who knows how long. He wouldn’t have owned up to it and he would have never apologized and acted all sorry. If the husband confessed his guilt of his own accord, then at least demonstrates regret and sorrow over his transgression. This presscon apology was all forced and staged to alleviate the backlash, he had no choice but to come clean.
@rila sometimes it can’t be worked even if spoken about. for example, some partners refuse to have marital relations when they’re older and lose the energy, but they can be good partners + parents otherwise. the spouse might bring the issue up and discuss it, but at a certain point, talking about it becomes exhausting if no action’s taken. rather than lose an otherwise good partner, they seek another person to fulfil their needs. it is cowardly and disrespectful, but they don’t want to divorce or separate and lose that family.
another example could be couples who have workaholic partners. lots of couples divorce (like doctors) because they have no time for each other. even after discussing for eons, there’s still no change because they both are required to work. however, they could still love each other very much, just that circumstances prevent them from putting each other first. so then what? maybe each person finds another person to fulfill their needs while keeping the family intact.
i’m not saying any of this is right. putting blame on the cheating party is correct, but it’s not the full picture. it is cowardly & disrespectful, but they might have their reasons for doing something like this. we’re not in their shoes, so can’t say what’s going on.
@coralie Maybe I’m too sensitive, but love is very important for me, it’s even more valuable than money or friendship.
I draw my line at adultery; you can lie, you can gamble, you can use drugs, you can be a workaholic etc. and I would still be willing to work at the marriage and give you second chances but as soon as you break the trust and have a physical or emotional affair, that’s the end of the road.
What you’re describing is loving one person, then seeking another person to fulfill physical or emotional needs in a romantic context. That’s also called an open relationship or having flings or one night stands. If someone thinks that’s acceptable behaviour, then good for them, keep doing whatever they’re doing. Everyone has their own preferences, but please stay away from marriage. Goddamn it, dont ruin marriage and true love for people who believe in it. You don’t get to have it both ways. Either choose unconditional and faithful love or choose to experience love with different people at the same time. Marriage is in sickness and in health, but if your husband gets erectile dysfunction, you ditch him and find a new boyfriend? Marriage is about sacrifice and understanding, and putting their needs above your own needs. At least that’s what it’s supposed to be.
@rila when it comes to relationships, there’s no one-size fits all approach. your convictions are strong and i commend that. i don’t condone cheating or extramarital affairs, but things can happen and maybe it’s forgivable. people’s priorities and needs change as they age, too.
maybe love and faithfulness used to be someone’s top goal, but over time other priorities take place, like their kids, health, finances or career. and love, too, can transform from burning love to comfortable companionship.
i used to argue a lot with older folks on other forums, like those “ask prudence” columns. what i’ve noticed is that cheating is universally abhored, but the older they are, the less likely they are to advise divorce as the first option. they always suggest counseling first. and myself as well…at this point in my life, i have no tolerance for extramarital affairs. but i can’t say how i’ll feel about this in a decade or two. as of now, though, i can say that while i don’t like cheating, i can understand the reason why someone would accept their spouse back even after cheating.
@coralie @rila Love in a marriage does tend to get more and more platonic over time. Romantic fireworks disappear and like Coralie says other priorities take precedence. But in Sammis situation with religion being such a massive influence, who knows how she is valuing her marriage.
@coralie I know you’re not condoning this type of conduct either, just that I want to make the point that as soon as someone cheats, a marriage is no longer a marriage in the real sense. There are conventional boundaries for marriage so I think that when those lines are crossed, that family is not intact anymore so I can’t empathize with cheaters, no matter what their motivations are.
@jimmyszeto Religion definitely played a huge role in her decision. I agree with what @coralie said that the old Sammi would not have stood for this at all. It’s true that Sammi is a completely changed person after taking up the faith, though I think she became more devout than most because that was what saved her life back when she had reached the brink of her depression almost destroying her. Back in the old days, Sammi used to have the nickname “black face Sammi” because she always had a sour expression and looked pissed off all the time (I remember watching JSG back then and commenting how Sammi never looked happy even when going on stage to accept her award). The media actually dubbed her “鄭臭四” (roughly translated as “Stinky Cheng”) because of her bad temper but after she took up the faith, they changed it to “鄭四萬” after the Cantonese expression “四萬咁口” (which roughly translated means “grinning widely”) because of her transformation to having a good temper and smiling all the time (Sammi actually uses the moniker often on her social media and such, I think to remind herself of her commitment to being happy and content). Add to that the influence of her friends, many of whom share the same faith and so would have encouraged her to forgive. Of course, like @coralie said, her history with Andy and the obvious love she has for him were also part of it, but the driving force, especially based on the way she responded, was definitely her faith.
@jimmyszeto
I totally agree with you! Religion can really do harm if you believe in it too much and that goes for any religion. However, if you allow religion to guide and make you a better person then I do not object that. However, I think it comes down to the person themselves. If they are bad then they just are and religion cannot and will not make them a better person. You know the saying, you can change mountains and rivers but cannot change your original character/personality.
@hetieshou
There are also some parts of the world where religion is taught from birth. It brainwashes individuals that the direction in life is the correct one…
@jimmyszeto
Yes and I find it sad that people are brainwashed like that. I was somewhat brainwashed by my late parents as a child. But as I grew up, I began to wonder how true any of it is. We should think for ourselves and not rely on any religion.
@llwy12 Thanks so much for your kind response and insightful comments. I really appreciate it 🙂 I totally agree with you. Andy probably took up the religion just to appease Sammi, really shame on him.
Sammi you’re too kind! You deserved better than that.
It’s sad to read her statement, and I kinda think maybe Andy isn’t too bad if she can say things like that for him. However, how much of it is just to calm the storm? And how much of it is true? I just don’t want her to continue this for the sake of everyone then few months down the track divorce him, or not divorcing him just for his sake 🙁 she’s too nice
Just my two cents here. First of all, I’m religious (baptized) to a certain extent and yes, God expects us to be merciful and forgive and forget. However, not holding a grudge does NOT equal to taking back an adulterous, lying husband. God also demands complete loyalty and fidelity in marriage, so the cheating scumbag was the one to break the rules in the first place. By the way, wonder if it was the other way around would the dude divorce or stay with a cheating wife? I believe he’s not religious so there are now double standards with both gender AND religion. What the hell. @nigel An independent woman would base her identity and self worth on her capabilities, talents and achievements, as well as her integrity and values rather than relying on a man to validate her existence. She’s definitely not sending the right message to girls and women especially after years of self proclaiming to be all strong and mature due to her faith. I only hope that this incident does not encourage more extramarital affairs in HK. Also her public image is also largely affected, some feminist fans probably won’t support her anymore.
@rila Yes, she has lost some points with me to be honest, being a fan since childhood. It most definitely is her choice, but I cant find myself to respect her anymore when she doesnt seem to respect herself.
It does seem to send wrong messages out. She is being praised for being such a forgiving and classy person, but does that mean those who are not quick to forgive being cheated on are not classy and forgiving person?
I certainly hope the consensus gleaned from this is not that its ok to cheat, the extreme christian way of thinking seems to have no limits for forgiveness. There are devout christians who have forgiven criminals who have brutally murdered their own families before. Im just too average and cant wrap my head around it. And I refuse to acknowledge that they are the better people because they take this stance.
There also doesnt seem to have been much punishment to Andy in this event. He was forgiven almost immediately, and everyones anger was directed at Jacqueline just because she went into hiding and didnt offer a quick or sincere enough apology.
@megamiaow Exactly!! If she was an ordinary person, I wouldn’t care this much, but now cheating or thinking of cheating husbands are given the idea that as long as you apologize and act all contrite, then everything’s swept under the rug and second chances are handed out right away? And women are told that they are expected to forgive and live with the pain and humiliation and a man who doesn’t even love them? As for being classy, he was the one to break a marriage vow in the first place, so I say he deserves no class treatment from her. I don’t know about murder or criminal charges because I believe that’s way more complex in regards to forgiveness and reconciliation, but for extramarital affairs, you can always offer forgiveness and be friends instead while focusing on rediscovering your identity and finding happiness with someone else. That’s what I would do in her shoes. It’s not the end of the world, and if he cannot respect the sanctity and meaning of marriage, then he has no right to be her husband.
@rila
Andy Hui did get baptized, so I guess it’s a way to publicize his faith. Christians aren’t perfect. We are still human and we still sin; that’s the reason for faith and our trust in Christ. Andy isn’t perfect; he claims that he’s done wrong and he’s a broken person. And like she said, marriage consists of trial and tribulations, and it takes two people in a marriage to overcome that. Emotionally, you can’t just walk away from someone you’ve loved for so long. She’s walked away once, and most likely she’s thought this through before going back with him. I have a husband too, and I personally will be EXTREMELY disappointed and mad if he cheats on me, and I honestly can’t say what I will do until I reach that point. But I really commend her for forgiving him because it takes more courage to forgive someone than give up on that person.
Every couple’s situation is different. She’s not telling people to use her as an example to forgive people’s fault. If your boyfriend or husband is using their situation as an excuse to forgive him for his infidelities, then you should really question your guy or husband and see if they are truly approaching this with the right motives and whether or not they are truly asking for your forgiveness or if they are saying they are at no fault. Their situation is not an out for your relationship; their situation is just simply between themselves.
@tammytam I also hope others will not look up to her as a role model in this situation, but in reality, teenagers and young people and diehard fans will follow their idols religiously and mimic their every action. It would have been better had she waited longer and posted a concise statement saying that they are working things out between themselves and kept things private. I’m not married, but I personally believe that I would divorce if cheating ever occurred. It’s like a friend asking to borrow money but never returning it for me; the trust is broken and I will hesitate to lend money again. However, marriage is alot more serious and it’s basically me giving not money but my unconditional love and loyalty in exchange for yours. The stakes are way higher because for me, love is more important than money. If you break the promise, then it means I can no longer trust you with my heart. I can offer friendship, support and even money but definitely not love anymore. That’s where I draw the line, life is too short to spend with someone who does not truly and faithfully love you. I rather stay single.
@tammytam I agree with you. To me, there are 2 different decisions at play here — one was to forgive and the other was to stay with Andy…in this case, Sammi chose to do both. While I do think the forgiveness piece was definitely due to her being a devout Christian, I honestly feel that the decision to stay with him and not give up on the marriage was influenced by other factors such as their past history and the amount of time they’ve been together. They first started dating back in 1991 and even during the period when they broke up and went their separate ways in terms of relationships, they were still very close friends, so the emotional investment was still there…having been in each other’s lives for 28 years, that’s not an easy relationship to break off just like that…
@rila You make a great point — there is definitely a difference between forgiving but going separate ways and forgiving but staying together. I also hoped that she was going to go with the first option (since there was already no doubt about the forgiveness part but she could’ve chose not to stay with him) — but like I said above, most likely there were other reasons outside of religion that influenced her decision to stay with him. I don’t fault her for her decision though, as I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her having to make it.
Besides, just because Sammi forgave Andy doesn’t mean the fans or anyone else has to. Personally, I’m still pissed at Andy for putting Sammi in this position in the first place and yes this does change how I view the two of them as a couple…but that’s just me….
@llwy12 I’ve read much of your blog over the years actually lol, it’s a pleasant surprise to see your reply. I’m not blaming her but gotta say that I’m not happy and very disappointed of the outcome of the situation. She’s a prominent figure and role model for several generations and this sets the wrong example and precedent. As an individual what she decides to do is up to her but since she is a celebrity, what she does affects the greater society and her decision was announced too quickly and hastily. What stands out the most to me is how hypocritical it is; i still remember how she came back to the music scene promoting her new image as a mature, independent and devout Christian singer but now she’s fine with having a cheating husband who does not respect the sacredness of marriage and would rather live with him instead of deciding to forge her own path for happiness. She might not be able to leave him and think it’s impossible to live without him now but no one came into this world already knowing their future spouse… sigh
@rila There is the whole staying together for the sake of staying together. Maybe because this person is the one closest to you and you cant imagine not having them in your lives or for children. My parents have been through this. I did not find out till recent years. If a person co-depends on someone a lot then the thought of facing things alone in the world is scary. Despite this, I think she should have put herself first, and she may have found herself another person loves, because the trust has never been there in the decades that Ive witnessed. We as their children have asked them why dont they divorce and we will arrange everything. But by this time, life alone is even more terrifying alone for them. They will rather stay together if not just for companionship.
@megamiaow
I guess it’s fine for Andy to do this again then. All will be forgiven next time too…
@megamiaow yeah, I agree that there are couples who are co-dependent on each other and I know at least one family who’s still living together only for the sake of their children. However if children’s involved, I actually can understand their reasons and respect that they’re willing to be selfless and sacrifice romantic love to provide a stable family home and care for their children. Not the best case scenario but it at least shows that both spouses have the same values and principles as parents and came to a consensus to prioritize being parents over anything else. But here Sammi is not a mother and things are not that complicated. tbh, this is not a “lesson” in marriage for the guy; a lesson may be learning to communicate or learning how to work through an argument… You don’t need to cheat to learn that you’re not supposed to cheat in marriage… This was a sin and a betrayal of trust. I wouldn’t be able to live with the guy, his mere presence would remind me everyday of how he broke my heart.
@rila LOL…thanks. 🙂
I understand people’s disappointment with her decision and it’s perfectly fine to feel that way. With the hastiness of the decision, part of me can’t help but think whether the statement was put out just to calm the masses and also for the sake of her friends and family so HKers and the media focus their efforts elsewhere.I mean, prior to her releasing her statement, the pressure on her to respond was enormous — it was pretty much the entire world (well, the entire local and international Chinese community at least) “on the edge of their seats” so to speak waiting to hear from her. Right after she posted her statement, friends such as Edmond Leung actually revealed that they were contacted by the media but all of them refused to respond publicly because they didn’t want Sammi to feel pressured to respond a certain way (since of course, if it were up to them, all their friends are going to advocate for Sammi and Andy to stay together)…after she finally responded publicly, then they all felt free to respond as well.
But again, like others have said, things might change down the road…only time will tell…
@llwy12 I think their friends are stupid and idiotic for responding publicly to the affair, period. They should just forever stay silent on this topic because now even if Sammi wants to change her mind she has to factor in the pressure and views of her friends. Talk, give advice, say all you want behind closed doors if she asks for it but anything in front of a camera is unnecessary and only contributes negatively. Audience like us have no direct impact but her family and friends’ opinions do.
@tammytam
Very well said and I agree with you that no one is perfect. Andy made a very bad mistake and many think that she should just divorce him. That is easier said than done, especially in this case as Sammi has been through so much with him. They broke up once, came back together and finally got married. They truly have such a long history to just walk away like that.
Yes, every couple is different so we cannot just say we lose respect to Sammi just for forgiving Andy. I have learned that one of the best traits that anyone can have is forgiveness. Forgiving definitely takes a lot of courage versus just giving up on that person, especially if it is someone that you have loved for nearly 3 decades.
Well…for now. This clearly not one off time…they appeared so familiar with each other so this affair has been going on for a while.
Hence he will stray again given the opportunity.
@applelim That is what I’m thinking as well. Those two don’t seem to be involved with each other for the first time. And I am more inclined to cheaters will always be cheaters, just like scumbags will remain as one no matter what.
It is Sammi’s choice so if he really loves her, hopefully he learns his lesson by keeping his hands and other physical parts of his to himself (and to his spouse)…or he learns to be smarter not to be caught next time.
I wonder if his track record has always been clean in the first place. For all we know, Sammi may even know that he is not the most faithful guy during those years they were on-off-on again together but loves him too much to let go and optimistically believes he will become one.
It is super for us to say she should divorce him because once a cheater always cheater. But we’re outsiders. We really don’t know all the details behind closed doors, and we shouldn’t. So all I can say is hope this is truly her voice, her thought, her resolute. If so, hope the best for her and her marriage.
After this scandal Sammi won even more people heart and earned more fans, I know she simply protecting Andy to let this news die down, if she makes a big fuss out of this media will just keep pouring oil on the fire. As a side note they been together for 3 decades.
Karma has already hit hard on Jacqueline she’ll never be able to have a normal life or her job back as an actress/singer her image is doom. No one will invest money onto her. Can’t wait for TVB to officially fired her for good.
its fine to see sammy has recovered this quick, the power of religion is really unbelievable and scary as well because it can totaly dominate your mind. but i think this also gives a bad signal for other husbands with a christian wife. they know they can cheat once and still their wife may forgive them.i hope she took the right desicion, but if andy wasnt exposed by the taxi driver, would he still has confessed his cheat in public?
@kolo
I agree that religion can be dangerous as it can dominate your mind, decisions,etc… which is why I no longer believe in any religion much anymore. I may allow some of the teachings to guide me but the power and choices I make are up to me. I will not allow any religion to make my choices for me.
Another aspect to consider is the motivation behind the affair, was it simply physical attraction like implied or were there emotional attachment too? If the former, I would be appalled to find out that my husband lacked the self control or sense of responsibility to resist such advances or think that it’s acceptable to have physical relations without love or commitment. Like dude, if you can dissociate emotion and sex then you do NOT belong in any marriage, period. That’s what’s open rships, one night stands, friends with benefits, flings etc. are designed for. You don’t get to have it both ways. It’s not fair to any marriage partner. This should have been a clear consensus about the boundaries before tying the knot. If the latter, I would be quicker to forgive, just accept that his heart is with someone else and move on.
As a Christian myself, yes, i agree that we should forgive those who have done anything wrong to us…BUT to a certain extend so as not to victimise ourself just to uphold the belief. Cheating in a marriage is not a small issue and it should be dealt with seriously. I agree with @rila that life is too short to spend with someone who does not truly & faithfully love you.
To forgive a cheating partner doesn’t mean that we should continue with the relationship if trust is broken and love is gone. I will admire Sammi even more if she just forgive and become friends with Andy, while each find their own path for future happiness.
Thus, i still hope that Sammi’s current decision is only to calm down the situation while they are working out a better solution for this issue privately.
I’m now wondering…if Sammi can forgive Andy due to her religion beliefs, does that mean she would forgive Jacqueline too? Because for those who claims to be a devout Christian, aren’t they supposed to forgive anyone who have done wrong and seek forgiveness regardless of who that person is?
@diana80 Good point. I suppose it does mean she should forgive the mistress too.
@diana80 I think it’s implied that Jacqueline is also forgiven as well, since by virtue of forgiving Andy, she is also forgiving his transgression which extends to those involved in the transgression with him. Of course she is not going to come out and say that, neither is she required to, but being as devout as she is, I don’t doubt that she also prayed for Jacqueline (following the tenet to pray for those who wrong us) and has forgiven her as well.
@diana80 that’s the infuriating aspect for me, how women are judged so differently when it comes to adultery. The home wrecker is always blamed the most and yes, she is at fault too but in legal terms it’s the husband who should take most of the consequences. Yet in reality, the wife naturally and obviously would be biased and rather believe that her husband was “seduced” which was what andy implied when he said he gave in to his physical urges. So then the focus shifts to the female who is labelled a whore, slut etc. for the rest of her life. How the hell is that not sexism??? Guys blame it on hormones, like hello, you still have a brain and a conscience. If a cheating woman made a similar excuse, no one would accept her bs.
@diana80
We are only outsiders so the ultimate decision should be Sammi’s. I wish her the best regardless and hope her faith keeps her strong and positive. She deserves a lot of happiness after all she has been through.
Forgive? So he can do it again down the road and she will forgive again? He committed the worst of all things a spouse can do.
IMO, I think Sammi must know. As no way is the taxi incident the first time for Andy and Jacqueline. They act like lovers, not beginner. For all we know Andy may be fooling around since they got married, just never got caught!! As once a cheater, always a cheater. She must know the type of person he is!!! Just good luck to her. She is going to need it.
As for Jacquline, she is someone I will call skank/slut while Andy is a dog!!! I never understand why Kenneth like her. Good riddance! He can do way better!
Wonder if kenneth decides to forgive jacqueline, would there be any support for him? He’s just giving her a second chance too.
@rila
I hope not as Kenneth and Jacqueline do not seem too serious and their relationship cannot be compared to Andy and Sammi’s marriage. Kenneth deserves way better than that cheap cheater.
Her life her choice. Don’t forget they have 30 years history and when she was down and sick I suppose Andy did his part enough for her to remember and forgive and move on. Hopefully Andy at his 50s realize his true love is there all along and not abuse her love and learn to zip up his pants. There will be temptations but I hope he remembers this moment and if he still love her then he should and must appreciate and respect her.
As for jw, since she’s still going in kenneths words maybe Kenneth shouldn’t tie down someone not ready for marriage or adulthood and let her play all she wants and Kenneth should consider dating someone else. Was be dating Margie tsang at some point? still available? Nancy? Someone not 30 up and coming flirtatious and swears in chinese a lot? Someone classier?
I am reassured for her mental health to be able to forgive him and be at peace with this. Personally, I would not be able to do it. Especially, this quickly and knowing that this wasn’t a one time incident, but likely has been going on for some time. But I am not in her situation and have not experienced their history together.
I did cringe about misusing religion to forgive him. It is unlikely to be the sole reason, but if it were the main reason, it sheds light on how problematic religion can be interpreted. There are a lot of good aspects to religion, but when it is enforced this way, one can’t help but be uncomfortable with the misogynistic aspect. This is used to keep women dominated, making them have to forgive transgressions that no man would forgive.
My two cents – a relationship for an artist is different than one for normal couples. In a normal relationship, we only need to consider how we feel or at most how our friends and family feel. In the relationship between Sammi and Andy, they have a lot more weight on their shoulders… so much more to consider. As a human, Sammi cannot and will not have gotten over this scandal in three days.. probably not even in three months! But because everyone is looking to her for a response, she has to consider what would be in the best interest for Andy and everyone else involved. Andy is not someone Sammi dated/married for a few years, they have almost 30 years of history. Regardless of her anger, hurt, etc.. she still cares for him and wants the best for him, and her voice will dictate his future. So she has no option but to forgive him. She proclaims God because He is the one who will give her the strength to continue on and recover from this scandal.
I honestly feel that she will not easily forgive him.. how can you forgive someone in three days when you find out he’s been going behind your back cheating for two years? All the lies he’s told her these past two years will keep coming back to haunt her… all the fake interactions with JW will keep coming back to haunt her… it’s going to be a long road to recovery for her, but hopefully with God by her side, she will stay strong.
She did all this to save Andy and his career. Just like Kenneth Ma came out to say all those things to save JW. They are artists and that is what they need to do, for themselves and their partners. I honestly believe that Kenneth Ma is done with JW, and whether Sammi truly forgives Andy remains to be seen.. but her actions spoke louder than her words – she moved out already.
Can you love but not like him…
Can you forgive but not be with him
I am curious to know ………………. since Sammi officially announced that she had forgiven Andy 3 days after the incident, had she moved back to their shared residence? I heard that Sammi moved out as soon as she learned about the scandal. Does anyone know?
@orchid123
I was wondering the same thing. We just have to wait and see.