Unable to Stand In-Laws, Yang Mi Moves to New House for Postpartum Recovery?
Although Yang Mi (楊冪) and Hawick Lau (劉愷威) became new parents last week, reports claim that not all is well within the Lau household. Choosing to give birth in Hong Kong, Yang Mi has been living with Hawick’s parents and has not been getting along with her in-laws. Lacking privacy and upset with the cramped apartment, Yang Mi already has plans to move into a newly purchased $60 million HKD, 3000-square-feet home in Kowloon Tong for her postpartum recovery period.
Hawick’s parents were photographed beaming while accompanying Yang Mi out of the hospital on June 5. Hawick’s father, TVB actor Lau Dan (劉丹), was extremely excited to become a grandfather, and welcomed Yang Mi into his three-bedroom home in Shatin during her last trimester of pregnancy. This made it easier for the Laus to prepare soup and ensure Yang Mi’s well-being.
Yang Mi Upset with In-Laws?
An inside source disclosed that Yang Mi was dissatisfied with Lau Dan’s small home. In an earlier Weibo blog post, she hinted that she felt disrespected and bound. The source spilled, “Yang Mi has a high income and lived in a several thousand-square-feet mansion in Beijing. She is not used to suddenly having to live with so many people in a 1200 square-feet home. When she was pregnant, she stayed inside her own room and didn’t say much with her in-laws. It’s as if they don’t know each other!”
While they were dating, Hawick had purchased an apartment for Yang Mi in Hong Kong in 2012. However, Yang Mi felt that the air quality was poor in the surroundings and rented out the place. While she was pregnant, she started scouting for a new home in Hong Kong. The Lau family stopped Yang Mi from moving while she was pregnant, adhering to the Chinese belief that it may harm the unborn baby.
Lau Dan Admits There are Incompatibilities
Yet, one week into her postpartum confinement, Yang Mi reportedly decided to move out of her in-laws’ home. Lau Dan admitted that “there are cultural differences” since Yang Mi’s family is from northern China. Lau Dan said, “There are of course incompatibilities, but it’s fine now! It’s okay where they choose to live; I don’t mind.” However, Hawick’s daughter will attend school in Hong Kong and will be raised by her grandparents.
Asked to comment on the family situation, Hawick said, “Don’t believe the rumors! They’re false. We haven’t moved out and we didn’t rent out our other apartment.”
Source: ihktv.com
This article is written by Jayne for JayneStars.com
However, Hawick’s daughter will attend school in Hong Kong and will be raised by her grandparents.
I know the parents have acting careers in China, but they are not really serious that their daughter is only going to be raised by the grandparents right?
Neither can or will give up their careers and busy schedule. Neither wanted nannies to take care of them. Grandparents are the next best choice and I think they made a wise decision. Better grandparents than nannies.
It is just hard to live with in laws and this is just for every human being not just for celebrities. Sometimes even hard to live with you own parents but it doesn’t mean you don’t like them. She’s willing to let her in laws watch the baby that means she’s reasonable and not disrespectful. And it is normal to let the grandparents watch the baby b/c they have better experience and can teach the baby to become a better person. I believe there are many of us and other celebrities that were raised by their/our grandparents.
azndoraemon,
You are so selfish. First, you declared that you can’t live with your parents and in-laws, and not only can’t, you don’t like to live with them.
Next, you want them to look after your children, so you can run free and love live life as you see fit, leaving the parenting responsibilty to them.
You are nothing more than a selfish prick.
Looks like “clubber” have some personal family issues he wants to share with us.
Yeah, right, Tong.
You are another Yang Mi sympathiser, no more than a spoilt selfish, self-centric one-child family brat, that knows luxury without responsibilities.
No, you have no issues, all problems solved by your family, you just live life to the fullest with no qualms of abandoning the hand that feed the cradle.
Confucius, the great sage had said that the well being of a nation starts with the family core, and God will have to work hard to bless China in future with the present generation of Yang Mi’s and Tong’s and Aznodoraemon’s!!!
Agree with funn,it not like the parents not going ever see the child again
Give this couple about two to three more years at the most before they divorce……….these two love themselves too much to sacrifice anything. Never should have had a kid in the first place if they had no intention of raising it themselves.
So, this Yang Mi is nothing more than a material queen.
She has problems with her in-laws not because they are nasty to her or anything but because they can’t provide her a big spacious 10,000 ft mansion to stay comfortably in.
Hell, she can’t even accommodate that ‘small’ space for few months, it’s not like she is asked to live there together forever.
What a spoilt brat!!!
Most likely, the child was an accident. And Yang Mi is a totally spoilt brat, as if she is so rich and wants to live like a queen. Sick of people like her – vain and conceited.
yuaida – now days a lot of people live separately and more college student move out from home so how can this be selfish? Living with more people in the home will create more problem and less personal space.
I like my parents and in laws but it doesn’t mean i can live with them in the same house. I live only one mile from them and i purposely don’t want to live too far from them so we can see each other more.
who doesn’t want personal space? is just like having roommate – is better to live alone then sharing the place with a friend. The friendship relations can end when you share a house with someone.
Azndoraemon,
ITA! Before I got married, I purchased my apartment which is just 5mins from my parents’ place. I went back every night to spend time with them and our relationship was much better than when I was living with them.
Now that I’m married, my place is just 10mins away from my MIL’s place. Hubby and I visit her at least 3 times a week and we share an amicable relationship. MIL lives with her helper and sister in a 8,000sf house and hubby and I live in a 3,000sf apartment. Both are big enough to share with others but we all agreed that it won’t be easy living under the same roof. In fact, MIL was already bringing my hubby house hunting for his future use even before he met me!
This is what the Cantonese would say ‘seong chue hou, tung jue nan’.. Lol!
It’s true I’m a very nice person n my in-laws are nice people too. But I wouldn’t be able to stand living with them.
It’s always hard to live w/in-laws. There can only be 1 tigress per household is what I say. Especially, since she’s use to having so much in China. “Sui Jie” behavior is expected in this case…since she’s young too.
I’m sure the parents-in-law aren’t having much fun too. But at lest they are trying and making her soup and taking care of her.
It’s tuff….better to live separately…but if that’s the case then don’t ever beg the grandparents to take care of the kid while you work and stuff.
“Yang Mi has a high income and lived in a several thousand-square-feet mansion in Beijing. She is not used to suddenly having to live with so many people in a 1200 square-feet home. When she was pregnant, she stayed inside her own room and didn’t say much with her in-laws. It’s as if they don’t know each other!”
B1tch alert. Keep on spoiling her. LOL! 😀
Totally agree…..more to come.
So, this Yang Mi is nothing more than a material queen.
She has problems with her in-laws not because they are nasty to her or anything but because they can’t provide her a big spacious 10,000 ft mansion to stay comfortably in.
Hell, she can’t even accommodate that ‘small’ space for few months, it’s not like she is asked to live there together forever.
What a spoilt brat!!!
It is hard to life with in laws,but it is not always the in laws’ fault because these days it seems to be the daughter in law that is difficult and not the other way around. It feels like Yang Mi is the difficult one so it is better that she moves out until she gies back to work and glands the baby back to her in laws.
Meant to say goes and hands.
Agree. Be independent & Live not with in laws is absolutely nothing wrong.! Also taking care of one’s own kids too what then it becomes a delegated thing? Learn to run ” the balancing act,” or one needs to learn….! In-laws are not for one’s convenience. Babysitting is fine. Raising one’s kids? Grown enough for marriage, therefore grown enough to shoulder child or children raising/responsibilities. Get real…!
So is true that Yang Mi is mean. Lau Dan was lying to the press and said she’s a sweet girl. In laws could be pain in the assss to live with, but Lau Dan is nice enuff to let u stay with them. She’s just a moody btchhh and could of stay at a hotel.
I think it is !au Dan and his wife that are nice, while Yang Mi is the difficult one. I guess it is better for her to move out then.
Best: When you get married, can you live with your in laws? These days alot of people live separately from in laws and parents. This doesn’t mean YM is mean. She’s being reasonable and at least she knows to move out before the fight starts.
I can’t live with in laws and can’t live with my own family either. I like to live in big house even just me and my husband because i like to have personal space from my husband at times. 1,200 sqft house would be too small for the two of us so i totally understand how YM feels. I get my own space from my husband and this doesn’t mean we are being difficult/mean.
azndoraemon = Another spoilt 90s baby brat.
I agree, I would hate to live with In Laws no matter how much I can get on with them.
Vagabond children – living on your own is independent and maturity.
It sounds like Yang Mi is too materialistic. It’s not like she came from a rich and well-off family with prominent and prestigious background. Think of the time when she wasn’t even famous. Did she live in a mansion back then? I doubt it. Let alone, she should be thankful for having someone taking care of her during pregnancy.
Well said…what an ungrateful girl. Even if the in laws a little difficult but she needs to show respect to your elders. It is Asian custom. But in this case her in laws are very nice, thoughtful, and supportive.
Well, her true colours already emerged when they got married……she opposed to having a wedding dinner celebration in HKG. Lau Dan is a veteran actor his social circuit is wide and I’m sure he’s not happy he cannot share the occasion with his friends.
Hawick is too blinded by YM…..sorry to say but let’s see what happens in the next 5 years.
soo true. she shes not from a rich family. pretty sure she lived in a small placce when she wasnt famous at all
Cultural gap (HK Canto vs Mainland Beijin) aside, there is also a huge generational gap as well. Since this Lau guy is already over 40, his parents must be in their 70s (or approaching), old enough to be her grandparents. Their old ways of doing things must come across as being alien to her. Also at their age, how could anyone expect them to care for an infant?
Such is the unintended consequence of these inter-generational marriages.
Good point. Lau Dan is 71. Yan Mi is 27. Hawick is 39. Looks like it’s going to be very difficult for Hawick to bridge any gaps…
While it’s not pleasant to live with in-laws, but isn’t that the Chinese culture, two or three generations under one roof? Heck i see that in movies all the time 🙂 Yang Mi is lucky she’s only stay with them for short amount of time and she should make the best of it and be appreciative instead of causing a rift.
The article seems to contradict, if Yang Mi is moving out because she’s not fond of the Laus, why are “the grandparents” raising Harwick’s daughter?
I agree that there are contradictions. I think she may be fine with them raising her daughter, but she does not want to live with them. Of course she would love for them to take care of the child so that she can go back to work because she of course will not give up her career. Even if she was not buddies with her in laws,I am sure she would rather they take care of her daughter than baby sitters.
“The article seems to contradict, if Yang Mi is moving out because she’s not fond of the Laus, why are “the grandparents” raising Harwick’s daughter?”
Because Hawick is not dead or a sperm donor. He clearly has a say in this decision. And I don’t really believe this piece of news.
Well time will tell, no smoke no fire. There some truth into it.
It is hard to judge just based on their smiling pictures in the public. Lau Dan, Kawick, Yang Mi are all professional actors. Smile happily in front of the press is a piece of cake for actors, LOL!
Well, hope they work it out.
And very likely if there a problem between them, Lau Dan or Yang Mi won’t go and tell everyone about it. I’m sure in front of the press, they will act happy and smile.
Overall, they famous people, they will keep their image as much good as they can to the public, and to their fans.
Hawick is a soft limpy husband who listen to his wifey 100% of the time. Is that a good enough answer???
They want the best of both worlds. They want freedom to pursue their careers, freedom for holidays and TGIF partying, so make use of their aged parents to take care of their child but not let them stay with them.
If her HK mansion is so big, why not let Lau Dan and wife move in with them?
A father enjoying his son’s fortune in his retiring years is an Asian virtue.
You get it or not???
vagabond children : grow up and get your own place. Don’t free load from your family.
Living separately from in laws doesn’t mean you don’t see them at all and doesn’t mean you don’t give financial support to the elderly.
Exactly, azndoraemon
So, I suggest you take a look at your goodself in the mirror and grow up yourself
Nobody’s asking you not to get your own place, nobody is asking you to freeload.
If you are capable, by all means, get your own nest mansion. But you can let the aged parents stay with you.
You seem hell bent on not having any of that, and twist it to your point of view and advantage by giving the reason and excuse that you want to and have achieve independence.
You can’t fool us on your selfish mentality, 90s baby.
Vagabond are you saying you don’t work hard enough to buy two houses so your parents can live care-free and thus trying to lie to yourself that you’re simply “caring for them.” cute story. you’re lazy, and i hope you don’t have kids or that they don’t learn your crappy attitude towards work and money management.
vagabond children: let me guess, you are in your 40’s and single and living with you mother who cooks for you everyday and does your laundry? Get a job.
You need to take anger management class.
Could be the crazy hormones during pregnancy and postpartum. IDK why but i get this sweet vibe from Mr. Lau Dan.
Postpartum could play a role, but nah, she just a B. Even tho Lau Dan is 71, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to communicate with younger generations. Mainlander women are mean, two face and think mandarin is the shhhhhit. Sorry, but I find mandarin is the most annoying and ugly language in the world. Hahaha
Not knowing a language and instead of admitting that you are too stupid to be able to learn it, but turn round to call it ‘shhhhht’ is the hallmark of a sore loser and an epitome of a loser in life. PERIOD!
Get ready to learn Mandarin. Your future depends on it.
Mandarin sound like they are puking everywhere. They have no class and freaken loud. No on want to learn no ugly mandarin.
WOW people are very immature yet people like you accuse other that they have no class.I bet you from HK huh?
Fosho tho Linguistic,only loser on internet would comment something like this.
What a biatch loll
Yeah..she thinks she’s all that! So unappreciative.
well said haha..
she has a typical b!tch face too!
Sure she’ll have her diva moments every now and then.
So, both parents prioritize work and expect the grandparents to care for their daughter? Well, you better treat them with respect. Not the type who uses them only…
This is better than a soap opera…
Not only actors. I know so many parents, such as doctors, lawyers, and other crazy workaholic who puts their work ahead of their kids, either let a nanny raise the child or their parents. :(. I thought there was just an article clearing up the rumors of Yang Mi’s diva ways last week, this week she is moving out. I am with Yang Mi on this one, if the air is not good I would rather resale or rent it out, Why stay in a place with bad air, especially when you are pregnant. It’s not like the old days anymore, time has change. People and society have change. I remember my in-laws was trying to tell me when and where I can take the baby, I know they have good intention, it gets so annoying when you are told what to do and when you don’t they give you a sour look. Now that we don’t live with them, it is the best thing ever! LOL, they are great , but I just can’t stand people telling me what to do and how to raise my child.
ping0,
It’s difficult to live under the same roof as in-laws. When we become older, we want to make our own decisions and not be advised on every issue. Perhaps they have the best intentions, but sometimes it’s just very hard to change perspectives and habits.
Best arrangement may be to live near in-laws so that families can take care of each other and have meals together, but far enough to have some space.
Since Yang Mi already hired a postpartum maid to take care of her, I think Hawick’s mom is just supervising the maid. It is better for Yang Mi to move out now while relations with in-laws are still good, before they get spoiled after living together for too long. If they find a place nearby, the grandparents can visit every day and still help her out.
🙂 YUP. Can’t make everyone happy!
Well said, Jayne.
I was in a similar situation where my MIL came to take care of me after my first. She’s an awesome MIL and we get along great, but that was the longest 4 weeks ever. There’s just something about being confined, losing your privacy, sleep deprived and told what to do that strains the best of relations. Now we’ve moved closer to them and everyone’s happy.
Agreed Jayne.
It really depends on the situation because in many cases these days,both parents need to work in order to generate enough income in order to raise the family. It is in only a few cases that a family can survive on only one income,but in most of those cases they have to really struggle to get by. But of course there are also some rarer cases where the husband or wife makes enough or beyond enough that one can stay home to be with the kids and still live well.
Anyways, well said Jayne and honestly even if we did get along well with in laws or anyone,living with them is a different story. Even with your husband/ wife,when you date as boyfriend/girlfriend all seems so sweet and stuff. But once you get married and start living together,that is when problems occur. But of course you have to learn to compromise,accommodate, adapt and complement each other if you want to spend the rest of your lives together. Of course you would make that effort for your husband/ wife,but would less likely want to do so with in laws because you usually would not have intentions of living with them. Those that have grand parents help or other family members help is lucky since many do not have that option and must work so have to hand them over to babysitters and nannies.
well said Ping0 and Jayne!
I think YM is being the bigger person and give full trust to the in laws to take care of the baby. At least she’s not giving the full responsibility to the nanny.
It is not easy to live with family members even your own parents these days.
You are really trying to spin every single angle to make YM looks good lol! Slightly pathetic and insane >_>
Giving children to grand parents to raise is no big sacrifice, especially when you are as rich as YM. With nanny, at least she cares/thinks how her child is raise. If like what you said, she doesn’t even think/miss/care for the child since “oh, the grandparents can handle it, nw” >_>
Do not mistake between irresponsible and ppls who actually do not have time and money to look after the kid and trying to work the best of their situation. YM is rich enough to find a much better alternative than leave the kid with grandparents >_>
Who says the Laus will not hire helpers (with the grandparents overseeing them)? There’s actually a high chance that they will hire help if they don’t already.
Actually, the grandparents are smart to offer to do childcare. Otherwise, they may rarely see their son and grandchild since they will likely live in China.
You did not get the point. The point is being a responsible parents and be there for the kids. Hence giving kids to grandparents is irresponsible parenting when you have the money to avoid this situation. Do not mistake me by thinking I’m saying giving children to grandparents are irresponsible, because if you try to be there for the kids, and do everything for them, but situation forced you into this then it’s not irresponsible.
The grandparents are retired, and can go visit the kid anytime, so I don’t see the problem. Plus Hawick is rich enough to buy air tickets for the parents, again, no big deal. And when they are old and can’t take care of themselves, you think Hawick just abandon them? I’m sure seeing the kid won’t be an issue.
Love seeing kid doesn’t mean they should stuck with the kid 24/7
Exactly. Didn’t care for in-laws telling how to raise kid/s. At the same time we’re that independent NO need either any help from in-laws to raise our …!
Pulled our own weight…! Nothing is wrong at all not wanting to live with in-laws. Need personal space, the claim, etc. Make sense. Yet they’re great for one’s convenience….?! Have one’s cake and the icing too …?! All the more POWER to one…!!!!!
I like Yang Mi’s acting, but she does give off a high maintenance vibe to me. On the other hand, if YM has the money and wants to live in a big house so she’ll be more comfortable, that’s her prerogative.
ive always wonder how this is going to work .Yangmi is the embodiment of your typical mainland woman. Claws dont’ come out until she’s married the guy.
It’s funny you said that. I really agree with you, and this is speaking from a first hand experience. When will guys in HK wake up??? So many of these mainland women are only marrying them because they want to live and raise kids in HK. And when will hk girls become less selective?
Marie – what’s so special about hk?
Better educational system, better healthcare system, freedom of speech, rule of law, less corruption, not as polluted as mainland cities, semi-democratic society and of course the Hong Kong SAR passport is accepted for Visa-free travel in most countries.
longhair: Hk air pollution is so bad and you should do research comparison. Many foreigner complains about hk. Even my entire family that are in hk says that. Why you think all kind of big viruses happened in hk?
I’m not saying that hk is not polluted. I’m saying that hk is NOT AS polluted compared to mainland cities, which is where Yang Mi is from. Also, Hk is a lot more freer than the mainland in terms of civil liberties, freedom of speech etc.,
azndoraemon- you sound ignorant about the lifestyle discrepancy, between hk and mainland china. Go do some research, and you’ll find out that numerous news of the social and lifestyle problems such as fake infant formula and lack of proper sanitation that mainland Chinese have to live with. If HK is not “special,” why then, do you suppose soooo many of the freaking chinese would do anything, i mean ANYTHING to give birth in HK? so that their babies can be raised there???
It would be much appreciated if you’d do more objective research before being lazy and asking such an open-ended question here. Also, for your family who is in hk, if they complain about the pollution, ask them to get outta there then. Why do you think they are still there? There ought to be something that entice them to still be in this heavily-polluted place, don’t ya think?
Maybe HK girls are getting less selective because of video like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsAABpjEy5U
OMG, please tell me that video is not real. That Chinese guy still held onto her hand for so long. haha 🙂
Marie – Hk is still China now, this is no longer before 1997. It’s embarrassing to talk about your own ethnicity. So if you talk down to china but you are still one of them chinese. This is just like going to their own country. HK celebrities go to CHina to make movie so no biggie too because it’s freedom to cross back and forth?
When is this ignorant going to stop? This is one country and don’t know when you guys will stop. HK is the same way, they go to US or Canada to get citizenship.
ALl the stuff you mentioned are heard on the scoope from tvb. That’s your thesis? Sigh Peace!
I hope you are to be living in hk and proud forever.
@Marie, HK women had the same reputation not so long ago: marrying overseas Chinese, and then dumping the guy after getting the green card. Americans also weren’t too happy with HK women flocking to the US to give birth.
Wow, mainland women sound so scary. It is strange how many HK actors marry China actresses and HK actresses marry mainland actors. However,mainland actors seem nicer than mainland actresses. Of course it varies from person to person as well.
Hi HeTieShou,
Most mainlanders girls have “sou tuen” and “wan yaw” I heard and they like to “teh” (coax) the men.
My Mainland Chinese colleague complains about her mother-in-law in office everyday. Even though her parents-in-law volunteer to take care of her soon-to-be-born baby, she does not really welcome the idea since she doesn’t want them to live with her.
This is untrue. Hawick and Lau Dan has said they hVe no plan to move out. Lau Dan has also asked people not to bekueve all these rumours.
Can you post the video links or news links to that, please share it with all of us.
To be honest, I wouldn’t want to live with my future in-laws either. Also, If I were Yang Mi and know that she’s capable of owning a bigger house, then why not? That’s not materialistic, it’s just that she has her own way of living her life.
Perhaps to those who criticized her for being a bad daughter-in-law or whatever should think for yourself, If you have the money Yang Mi has, and you happened to be a very independent person (which is Yang Mi’s most obvious character), you would’ve done the same thing.
Dont be surprised that these days chinese children from China are really spoilt. Most of them have only 1 child so they honestly have this prince & princess attitude, furthermore she’s a highly paid actress back in Mainland, for sure she has princess attitude. It’s better that she moves out it’s a pain to have a diva in the house.
That is very true bloom. I have met so many kids from China who are all an only child and are treated like princess and princes and act like it too. They all come for rich and well off families too which makes things worse…
To HeTieShou,
I’ve a male friend from China, but he’s from a small place “Yantai” and as always he’s the only child. But thankfully he’s not like that. He told me these days girls in China are more superior than the guys. Because all chinese families have only 1 child. So, time has changed. The chinese girls are very demanding, materialistic. If you’re dating a chinese girl from China, her parents would be asking you do you have an apartment and a car? Otherwise, how can you afford to marry my daughter? I think all these chinese are so pathetic. I’m also a chinese but I honestly disagree with how they seem to teach their children to be materialistic. The boys have to even do housework for the girls, and if not you’ve to hire maids for the wife. I agree with him that chinese girls from China born at the right era, unlike those days where girls have no positions. Shoulndt the parents teach the children right from wrong especially when they only have 1 child. That doesnt mean to spoil them and make them become so dependent on the family, lazy and have this princess and prince diva attitude? It’s so sickening seeing all these chinese families on how they raise their kids as if they’re so afraid they wont become a spoilt child.
Hi Bloom,
Thanks for sharing the story. I agree with you and can see that due to the one child policy,it is making guys and sadly girls have Prince and princess syndrome. Of course there are some nice guys that are not like that. I used to have a female classmate from China that was like that. She was not a bad person but expected a lot, was materialistic,wanted to sit back and let the guy take care of her,etc… My parents taught me the opposite and always taught me to be self reliant. It is not good to depend on the guy too much or anyone. It is always better to do things yourself and independent. My parents lived in a male dominated society where males were always superior. China used to be that way but sadly it seems like times are changing and nice and non materialistic mainland women are becoming a rare species.
Hi HeTieShou,
Thanks for sharing your story 🙂
Yes, not all chinese ppl are like that but majorities of the kids are like that. And most of them really worship branded stuff and thinks the caucasian like really rich and some of them wants to marry outsiders and leave china. They don’t seem to value the fact that they’re chinese.
I worked in a german firm so on and off our office will have foreigners visiting. One of this german girls work in singapore, she told me that the singaporean chinese are so terrible. They’re so fond of branded stuff, likes to show off but they live in a tiny flat! She said we germans are not like that, we dont show off, we dont buy branded stuff, actually come to think about it, it’s true, nowadays it’s the chinese women (most of the time) that go crazy over all those branded or luxuries brands.
Coming back to the one child policy, that was exactly what I wanted to say. If we only have 1 child, I think it’s more crucial that we teach them to be good than to spoil them. I feel so disgusted seeing a lot of chinese parents wow doting their child like as if they’re the only ones that have a child. Some of them in the pram already have ipad as if the parents are so afraid that the child wont get short sightedness and a lot of times it’s the parents that wants to show off and compete with other parents for having the latest gadgets. I dont see anything wrong with reading books.
You guys should read this new book ‘crazy rich asians’ by kevin kwan. The excessively extravagant, materialistic and shallow attitudes of rich Singaporean Chinese makes one wish for a revolution.
@ bloom:
Material goods and designer duds are just that … surface trappings to supposedly ‘elevate’ status. That’s just SELF-delusion though. Giving yourself those airs and graces, is really only self-delusion.
Some of the entitled rich MUST live with designer duds or eat only at restaurants … but really some of the Singapore rich are also humble down to earth folk who doesn’t see any need to waste money on labels or fancy places just to prove a point … unless it’s really worth the price.
At the end of the day, it all boils down to security and insecurity. NO ONE can look down on you, if you respect yourself, and your own roots. Humble or otherwisel
The WHY’s behind people behavior is always more interesting to me. What is it masking?
Just like gold-diggers … pretentious people, divas, poseurs and wannabes exist everywhere – from Singapore, to the rest of Asia. Humble beginnings, but full of put-on princessy airs and graces.
When I read of people like Mariam Yeung who has a a post-partum entourage of 10 to wait on her, I consider her to be to be among this crowd.
Even in the Western countries, though they’re more subtle about ‘masking’ it. You may see Caucasian high school kids touting genuine LV and Chanel purses to school … then you see them return home to slummier Eastside homes or even trailer parks.
Material goods are just that … surface trappings to supposedly ‘elevate’ status and sense of well-being. That’s just SELF-delusion though. Giving oneself those airs and graces, is really only self-deception
And I find people who are divas or have nasty in your face attitudes (be they Asian or Caucasian) are usually also hurting and masking something else = deep rooted insecurity which stems from childhood, or very unpleasant experience which went unaddressed.
It’s just self-protection.
I met a 40yrs old chinese mainland dude, who rent in the same apartment complex with me, and he’s so spoiled, ignorant, can’t even fry an egg because his mother and wife does everything for him (he was study abroad alone).
With a dad like that, his daughter is just as spoiled. She was unfriendly and look down on other, and totally disrespectful. The whole “son is more valuable” attitude is deep rooted >_<
To Little fishy,
I’m not sure whether my observations were right or wrong. I noticed some of us chinese tend to look down on those poor ppl, they just have this attitude to show off and some of these are those rags from riches. Those that born from a wealthy family may not act like that though. I noticed so far Japanese ppl wont have such rude manners and look down on others. What’s wrong with the chinese? Why they’re making other races dislike them?
“The whole “son is more valuable” attitude is deep rooted >_<"
Not if "career" women "refuse" to "blindly" go along. Maybe it's time for "career" women to wake-up and demand change.
If children of "irresponsible" fathers start changing their last name to "honor" their mothers who raise them, then maybe there will be less baby girl abortions/slaughters and China wouldn't have such a gender imbalance.
lol chinese talking down on chinese. sigh
Speaking the truth might be talking down, but it’s time you wake up from your elusion that the way you act is always right.
Continue ignore the issue is what’s wrong with the majority of the Chinese and their attitudes
No matter how nice your mil is, there can be one lady of the home. It’s wise of YM to move out before too much misunderstanding occur between mil and dil. As a woman with high earning power, it would be hard to suppress her own personality just to please her in laws 24/7. Imagine if it was a man in that position, he’d be labelled spineless.
And as for letting the grandparents look after the grandchild, why not? Why should the mother at a high of her career be expected to stay home and look after the kids? Isn’t that wasteful? What message will be sent to the children? That the moment a woman has kids she is expected to give up her own aspirations while the father is free to continue pursuing his own career. Double standard much?
It’s wise of her to let the grandparents be in charge of looking after the baby. Blood is thicker than water, and no babysitter can look after their child with as much love as the grandparents.
You have no idea what it feels like to grow up without having your parents by your side. I’m like a prime example because I was raised by my grandma in Canada. This feeling of “awkwardness” when your parents visit you once every year is unbearable. They were like complete strangers to me. I actually get upset when they do come visit, isn’t that weird?… No matter how you look at it I don’t think this is the type of feeling you should have around your parents.
Yangmi shouldn’t even have kid in the first place if she doesn’t want to devote time into the kid, It’s just not fair. I feel like they only use the pregnancy as publicity…like they made a mistake, and bam, the baby was born. “Hey, you know what, lets announce it and make it big, yeah!”
Well to be fair it depends on the situation. In many situations these days, both parents need to work or else there is not enough income. However,whenever you are not working you should try to spend as much time as you can with them. You can still work and connect with your kids. But of course it would depend on the kind of job that you have too, in many cases these days,for many families, one parent cannot afford to stay home. If you do and still live well then your husband or wife must make a lot of money to be able to afford it.
I do think that when you have a kid, you should cut back on your career but try to hold on to it if you can because you never know what can happen. Try to balance work and family as much as you can . Sadly I have seen some that work only and do not even want to take care of their kids even when they are not working.
Hawick should not be having a child if he’s unwilling to put work aside to spend more time with the child. A daughter needs more bonding with her dad to prevent daddy issues.
Hi Vel,
I would like to think all parents love to spend time with their kids. Only under certain circumstances they can’t. Both Hawick and his wife are based in mainland and obviously it’s better to have the child live with their parents. It’s still too early to know what are the future arrangements going to be. When they’re both young and still in demand, it’s only wise to continue working for more money and thus there’ll be some sacrifices here and there.
Hi Bloom,
You are so right and that is what I have been trying to say. I am sure many parents would love to take care of their kids themselves,but of course under circumstances they cannot since they need to work to earn money to raise the family. That is especially important in this business where competition is high and the income is unstable. You can make a lot of money one moment and be in high demand but can end up making nothing and losing favor the next moment. They are lucky to have grandparents help out because not everyone has that and must hire nannies and babysitters. But having money is the foundation of it all because if you do not have enough then you do the best job at home, and it still will not be enough. However,as a father and mother whenever you are not working, you should try to spend time with and bond with your kids as much as you can before you become alien to them.
Hey, okay so I know this generation is obviously different than the generation I grew up in (I grew up in the 90’s btw – the generation that’s known to have princess/prince syndrome…imagine kids now…) Because of gender equality and all that crap, a lot of women are working along side with men now. It’s fine, it’s a step forward in the right direction, but they need to understand that kids need social bonding with their mothers even if the fathers cannot provide. They still have to be by their side whenever they can even if they have to compromise it with work.
Btw, how much more money do Yang Mi and Hawick really need?? They’re both so famous and rich in mainland. Maybe one of them should stop being so selfish and drop the fame to devote more time to the baby.
Btw I heard Nick Cheung’s wife quit the showbiz to take care of their daughter. That’s something I really respect.
Thanks HeTieShou for agreeing.
I would like to think both Hawick and his wife loves children and that’s why they decided to have one themselves.
If I were in demand and can command a good pay, I think I would still continue to work, a lot of ppl want to have an early retirement. Just imagine celebrities, both of them are at the peak of their career, I’m sure they really want to take this advantage to make as much money as possible maybe to do some business, do investment, prepare for the future, early retirement etc etc. You’ll never know when you’re still in demand few years down the road, life is unpredictable, when you can still work, you better work, it’s too late when you want to work when you’re older but no one wants to hire you anymore. What about health? We never know how healthy we can be eventhough we may be really taking good care.
I feel it’s not so bad to live with grandparents, I grew up living with my grandmother too and I think I’m fine. Dont forget children’s adaptation skills are very strong, as for their case, HK and China is not that far, I’m sure they’ll be travelling back and forth to meet their child as and when time permits.
@vel,
When is money ever enough? Esther is able to do so,because Nick makes big bucks now being the movie king and all. However,back then when he was struggling,she had to be the breadwinner. Even though you can make a lot in this business,the income and demand for you is unstable. You can have a lot of money and fame now,but that can all just disappear in the next moment. I have seen American celebs who are way richer than them now end up with nothing. Also it us still too early to say what their arrangements are.
Hi Bloom,
Yes and it really depends in the situation. Their lifestyles are different from us. Just like how we hear Americans makes millions and we think they can just sit back and do nothing for the rest of their lives. But then in a few years,all that money is gone. We as average citizens think,gosh if I had that much money,I can live comfortably fir the rest of my life. Everyone is different and it is true that some like to have kids but not take care of them. However,in many cases many must work or rose there is not enough income. Raising just even one child is a lot of money these days. If they are still in demand they should take advantage of it while they can. The fame of an actress is even shorter than an actor. Health is another thing to,consider because you can suddenly fall ill and cannot work like what happened to Gordon Liu. Life is so unpredictable. And the expected happens all the time. Those who have not experiential will not understand.
Hi HeTieShou,
Yes, how much money is enough. It varies from person to person. It’s true that when we’ve more we tend to spend more (I mean most of us do). When we make less, we try to trim here and there.
Some celebrities give up their career after child birth but some dont. For those who dont in my eyes dont really make them a “not so good mother”
Yang Mi & Hawick are both popular back in the mainland and dont forget there are so many ppl in china which means there are a lot of competition as there a lot of chances of getting new talents. I dont remember their age but when your career is sky rocketing you really have to seize this opportunity and try to make as much money as you can. You may be famous today but no one can guarantee that you’ll be forever in demand.
Who knows ppl like Anita, Esther all these dont make sacrifices. But then again, I’m not sure if you can compare Hawick against Nick Cheung & Chilam Cheung as both of them are considered veteran celebrities. Hawick’s career only sky rocketed when he moved his base to china.
Have you ever met some parents that neglect their child eventhough they’re with the child most of the time? I’ve a cousin both her husband & her are so busy with their own life that their 2 daughters were literally under the care of the maid & when they grew up they attend to themselves but thankfully both of them are extremely independent. My cousin & her husband were always busy with their jet setting life and golf and hardly in the house to accompany their 2 children, I think the only time they’re at home is to sleep or play mahjong.
I doubt the grandparents are going to actively care for the kids, hands on.
Rather it’s more likely the grandparents will be the proxy parents in HK, supervising the nannnies, and the child’s well being.
The biological parents can be worry-free earning their living in China.
This kind of childcare arrangement is pretty common for families who can afford nannies in Asia.
That way, the educated modern woman does not have to sacrifice her career to stay home during the first 5 yrs either. It’s hard to get back on track.
And better the kids are in HK with them, than in China growing up with just nanny babysitters.
Esther and Anita may have been sacrificing mothers. But IF anything goes wrong with their marriages … they’re made a huge loss to themselves. Back the wrong horse, or have a weak horse that strays into tempting fresh young pastures … and it’s game over for the family. And the huge sacrifice and loss is often for the female.
Since no one can predict the future, it’s prudent Yang Mi capitalises on her potential and youth to earn as much as she can, and also establish herself as an actress. You can’t just fade out, and expect the industry to welcome you back after 6 years.
“You have no idea what it feels like to grow up without having your parents by your side. I’m like a prime example because I was raised by my grandma in Canada.”
You were given opportunities and some are not so fortunate. As for Yang Mi and Hawick they should have waited. They are dumping responsibilities to someone else. Money can buy everything in their case. The good thing is the grandparents will have more time with the granddaughter. Just too bad that the child will grow up without the parents. Looking out of the window wondering when mom and dad will be coming home. What kind of affects will that have on a child, but then again it can be bought. LOL! 😀
“As for Yang Mi and Hawick they should have waited.”
Agreed, but doubt that Hawick wanted to wait and risk losing that “golden” opportunity. Successful young independent women (like Yang Mi) may be better off not marrying, keep their freedom to do whatever they want, expand their own family name and live a stress-free life (unlike Yang Mi now, having people complain about incompatibilities and pull her in so many different directions).
To Nomad822,
I would like to write on both Anita’s & Esther’s sacrifices. I would feel that if we were to worry about when our husband will stray dont you think that will cause you agony? It’s better not to worry for all these and cherish the moments to be together. If we’ve done our roles as wife and mother and our husband still strays we have nothing to regret. I still believe if there’s nothing missing in your marriage i.e. both of you love each other, I feel the spouse would very unlikely fall out of love. Love is not about physical only like pretty, young, it’s also about feelings, love, communications. Beauty and youth fades over time, who can guarantee that you’ll be forever beautiful & stay young?
i hope yang mi is still, on the surface, on good terms with her parents-in-law …
Yes,because if she is not,it will definately cause problems for her and Hawick down the road because Hawick seems to be really close to his parents.
Princess syndrome
Why are we giving them so much heck because they leave for work. They still need to bring in income. For an example a trucker needs to leave for a couple of weeks at a time. A person who work at the oil rig or some sort of job that require them to leave home to bring home income. Yes sure the artist already rich, but they still need to maintain it. I am sure they are not leaving their child solely for their parent’s to raise. The media is twisting things.
We’ll said Ping0. Those that have nit suffered financial difficulties or have carried the economic burden will not understand how hard it is. Bringing in income is the foundation of it all. If you do not have any income,how can you provide for and raise a family?
We’re beginning to see more & more new parents:
1. Don’t want to live with in-laws (they get along fine as long as they don’t live under one roof or have constant presence)
2. They expect parents/in-laws as free babysitter (mainly cost saving, then safety issue)
3. Occasionally b1tch to friends how you don’t like the in-laws baby-sitting style
4. But still goes back to Point 2
Don’t take parent/in-laws for granted. They’re not really obliged to take care of your kids, same as you are not obliged to live with them. They too, have a life after retirement and not necessary raising your brood just because you don’t have time & economic means.
Well said Sehseh. However better to live apart but near rather than together and constantly on each other’s throat. Just remember your wife/husband should treat their parents if not better or at least as good as he/she to you. After all parents gave birth to them. And when they’re old and very sickly, guess who should take care of them but rarely do?
Agree on the free babysitter thing.
I’ve also heard of parents who “refuse” to care for their grandchildren (choosing to play MJ daily instead) but “expect” to be well taken care of in their elderly years. They expect people to drop everything (at a moment’s notice) so that they could be driven here and there (totally disregarding people’s busy schedules). And, these are parents who made their kids work at a young age (like 10-yo) and never gave them any spending money (not for clothes, school/college, etc.) thereafter. There are all kinds of people out there.
She totally looks like a brat but you can’t really expect much. Isn’t she still in her mid-20’s? And didn’t she grow up in the limelight? I mean, look at Bieber. Being famous as a child definitely alters their mind set. They don’t know what a normal life is…
They only live in their own little world. I doubt they even know there are people starving out there. I remember reading an article about Jay Chou…he said something really stupid like “wow people earn that less??” Well DUH..you think everyone is rich like you?
It is not just Jay but anyone who has a good life and do not worry about meeting everyday needs is usually blind to the suffering of others. That is why I have noticed that many people and celebs who came from a poor or less fortunate background are more aware of the poor and less fortunate,while others that have always lived a rich/ well off have never experienced hardships so are blind to it. Of course that us not always the case,but that is a general pattern that I have noticed.
@ He TieShou:
Not always.
The poor who become rich can become obnoxious social climbers. Very eager to distance themselves from a past of poverty, to “wash their roots”.
In my first job eons ago, I had a refugee supervisor who married a Caucasian … climbed to a certain social status 30 yrs after. At work, she would make daily comments like she can’t take a seat in a crowded restaurant if it’s near the loo because it’s just plain unhygienic. And many other such comments, with related airs and graces. She’s also cold-hearted clinical – you would think she’d be a more flexible person with some empathic compassion after going through all she did.
IF the poor who become rich do charity work = many (esp the women) are doing it for show, and the reputation.
@nomad,
That us very true and was another point I wanted to add but had to go. There are many that were poor but become really annoying after becoming rich and all. Yes,there are many they do charity for the wrong reasons which comes back to what I said in thus other post. What is their intention behind doing charity? It is not the amount you donate fir example,but what is your true intention behind it?
They do know but don’t give a sh.i.t because of the shortcuts/cheats they take. LOL! 😀
To Nomad822,
I agree with you, some ppl just forget their roots. I dont know why, maybe deep down inside them they’re still insecure about themselves. They tried every way to show or tried to distinguish themselves. I’ve seen some ppl do not want to recognize themselves as a particular race once they’ve become a christian. These are all nonsense ppl.
Some people have been honed since childhood to wash their roots. How can you blame them? Some realise while growing up, how undesirable their parents’ lives are.
Which is why some are so eager to become Mrs X from Ms Wong.
And people like Jackie Chan – is he truly that altruistic? When you have 20 houses, it’s not that hard to give one or two away is it? It makes you look damn good, and earns you the title of Big Brother … esp in materialistic HK culture where money is king.
Or Cathy Tsui – one less limited edition Hermes purchase to compete with other tai-tais or one less $200K playground renovation for her darlings would feed 20 families out there.
Other people like Miriam Yeung – when you read of a post-partum entourage of 10 waiting on her/baby … seriously, is that necessary? Especially considering her humble background too.
You also don’t see many society ladies actually hands-on in charity work doing the ground work stuff. Sure, they donate money, and make time to appear in charity t-shirts doing ‘dirty work’ when there IS a good photo-opportunity to show them in action. How long do they actually keep at the activity, or quietly excuse themselves and dissapear, once the reporters leave? 🙂
Are they the genuine givers from the heart and people who are there constantly, getting their hands dirty at ground roots level because they sincerely want to help out or genuine want to make a difference?
There are few that sincerely do, and they have my respect.
I like how people like Jscky Cheung use their power and clout over fans to ask for donations of bags of rice to homes. Done quietly, without having to highlight the deed high profile to media or create a lot of drama about it.
I personally Yang Mi could have earlier make some arrangements with her in laws that she prefers to stay in another house rather than agreeing to stay at their place and moved out soon after. Whether or not she hurts the old ppl’s feelings or not only they know. But it’s still not nice, if I were the in laws, I would definitely think we’ve not done sufficiently and resulted Yang Mi to move out as it’s not even a month.
Probably she never wanted to live with them from the beginning but remember those typical Chinese superstitions that pregnant women should not renovate or have constructions in the house? Perhaps, that’s why she waited till her baby was born. But still, I think it was quite insensitive of her to move out barely a month after her delivery. She could at least wait for another 6 months or so. It is never wise to burn bridges; especially with family members.
It’s hard to live with your spouse and it’s even harder to live with your in-laws. Yang Mi is insensitive,high maintenance to keep. Her husband can’t even do anything about it. Not wise to burn bridges especially when Hawick is using the golden bridge. Therefore the in-laws don’t dare to burn this bridge. LOL! 😀
“Not wise to burn bridges especially when Hawick is using the golden bridge. Therefore the in-laws don’t dare to burn this bridge.”
LOL
Why is it always the SO’s family that rock the boat? Yang Mi and Hawick were perfectly happy before. No complaints or anything. Just blissful until his family comes into the picture and complains about incompatibilities. Geez, the woman just gave you a grandchild. Give her a nice “big” gift. At least, please don’t complain so soon.
For some reason I have just never liked her. I mean she does have a small and pretty face and she was good in that TV series with Ruby Lin but I dont know why, I just dont like her. She could be the nicest person in the world but unfortunately I dont know her personally and she has never done anything to me LOL but I just cant like her. I am not married yet but I can see the complicated between a wife and the-in-law through my mom, my aunts so I somewhat understand but still.
I just feel like if Hawick Lau listens to her and does everything she wants then they will be together for a long time. If he listens to his parents, then their relationship wont survive too long.
There’s nothing wrong with successful independent women wanting to live separate from parents/in-laws. It’s not like the man is providing for a woman and, therefore, she must live however he provides.
Wonder how comfortable Hawick would be living with his in-laws and subjecting himself to doing things their way? Hmmm…
Hawick is a grown man and, hopefully, perfectly capable of making his own decisions.
Agree with MW.
There’s the Chinese virtue of filial piety and politeness to elders, BUT if longterm it’s going to leave to festering relationships and promote dis-harmony instead … better to keep a distance.
Independent women + interfering (if well meant)and controlling MILS are seldom a successful equation. Those that work have DILs with superior PR skills or are 2 faced in front of husband/MIL.
That healthy space for each, is better. Actually makes the meetings happier.