Woman Insults Ella Koon for Breastfeeding
Singer Ella Koon (官恩娜) said a woman insulted her in public while she was trying to breastfeed her son in the female changing room, sparking much debate about human rights.
Ella shared the incident on Facebook on March 15, writing, “That day, while I was breastfeeding bébé G in a female changing room of a five star hotel in Hong Kong (I couldn’t find a nursing room on the two floors I was on; I also did ask the changing room staff for permission), I was insulted by a middle-aged woman! I even purposely sat aside to avoid obstructing others!”
The Cantopop singer said the woman walked up to her and her son and deliberately yelled at her face while she was on the phone with the hotel staff, complaining about Ella’s breastfeeding.
“Bébé G started crying. I was so shocked I didn’t know how to react,” said Ella. “Why are there still people who hold prejudices against breastfeeding in this day and age? A baby drinking its mother’s milk is the most natural thing in the world! Anyway, you shouldn’t treat a five-month-old baby like this! Breastfeeding is not a crime!”
The Natural Parenting Network in Hong Kong reposted the story and gave their full support to Ella, also urging the Hong Kong government to pass down laws to protect breastfeeding mothers.
Many netizens on Facebook also agree that breastfeeding is a basic human right and part of natural law.
“Why are we forced to hide?” a netizen said. “The baby has the right to eat!” Another said, “It’s very upsetting to know that people are so old-fashioned.”
“Mothers in foreign countries can breastfeed everywhere,” said another netizen. “But Hong Kong is unfortunately not at that level yet! Besides, [Ella was] actually inside a room! That woman was so rude!”
One netizen said she found it strange that there wasn’t a nearby nursery in a five-star hotel. A male netizen suggested that it is time to start putting nursing rooms inside men’s restrooms as well. “All the nurseries are inside women’s restrooms. Dads need to change diapers too.”
This article is written by Addy for JayneStars.com.
Unfortunately people in the US have the same issue too. Probably not as bad as HK though. I really don’t understand people who feel they have to yell at a Mom who is feeding her child! The baby have to eat people!!!! I also find it ridiculous how some woman can dress like they are wearing NOTHING but they don’t get any nasty comment but a person who is trying to feed her baby does. The way people think sometime is just bizarre and sad!!!
@happybi Yes it is sad how people think breastfeeding is taboo when so many “social media” stars can post photos of themselves baring everything.
I don’t have kids yet but if I do someday and I get into this situation, I will cuss out anyone trying to make me feel bad for feeding my baby. That is just ridiculous. If they find breastfeeding sexual, something’s wrong with THEM.
@lyu310 PREACH IT GIRL
This content has been hidden as the member is suspended.
@happybi Many places in the US do have local ordinances against breastfeeding in public.
As to why people would cry against breastfeeding in public but not against nudity. Well, it is the same logics as why women would cry against only fat guys in Speedo. LOL!
@aiya that is the thing though. Do people really go up to a fat guy in a speedo and yell at them to put on some clothing? Not really right? So why they feel compelled to yell at a new Mom for feeding their child is really beyond me. And she is in a changing room!!!! Not out sitting on a bench in the middle of a shopping mall! But then even that people should just mind their own business. Next time they have a comment, go yell at the people who are shitting out in the street!
@aiya I am sure reaction the same is a person is nude in public. Please, breastfeed somewhere private. If smokers are demanded to smoke in smoking room or people do toilet stuff in toilets, breast feeding which imvolves revealing yourself should be in private. What Ella did was right so why that woman was upset is beyond me.
@funnlim I went to an art exhibition once in Brittain, a woman was breastfeeding her baby on a bench in the middle of the museum. In public. Not one person who passed by said a thing. No one was staring. No one was making comments or giving any dirty looks. THIS should be the right way to go about it. Everyone was respectful and understands common decency.
Comparing a mother feeding her baby as nudity in public is unfair. There are billboards of women in lingerie and men in underpants all over Hong Kong and the U.S. but somehow breastfeeding -where you hardly see anything- is ‘worse’?
Comparing it to smoking is even more outrageous. Second hand smoke directly affects other people’s health. A woman breastfeeding her baby doesn’t harm anyone else in any way.
@peanutbutterjelly Nudity is more acceptable in Europe in general. Their soap commerials can have fun frontal nudity. People don’t go whack off when they see it, lol. It’s all in the culture and what the people are used it. In the US, some people are advert to public breastfeeding yet they praise how brave Kim K was when she posed a full nide on her instagram.
I’m all public breastfeeding. It’s like eating. School kids eat in the bathroom because they’re bullied or outcasted. We’re all outraged by that. So why do we shame a mother and her child to the bathroom during feeding? If people find it uncomfortable, just don’t look. It’s not like we haven’t purposely overlook other things in public before.
that woman who created a scene is NUTS! HK is so upbeat and modern…furthermore the young mother breastfed her son in a changing room.
I am against public breastfeeding. But if she was feeding her child in a private space as in a female changing room, I think the woman who scolded her is very very unreasonable. However if she did it in public maybe there is cause for upset.
@funnlim Even if she did it in public, the action of the woman who scolded her is still unreasonable. She has a right to be upset about whatever petty thing she wants but she has no right to scold someone for feeding her son.
@peanutbutterjelly If she has a right to be upset, she should have a right to voice her reasons for being upset. We are not told what words she used, for all we know it may have been sarcasm rather than outright biting remarks.
Like I said, Ella was doing in a private room so therefore the woman was wrong.
@funnlim No she doesn’t. If I walk up to a stranger and told her her perfume smells terrible I am also just voicing my opinion for being upset. That doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable in a social context or -depending on the way I did it- in a legal context.
Because like you said we don’t know what words she used so what she said it might as wel qualify for verbal harassment.
My argument is private or not it shouldn’t matter when it comes to breastfeeding. You have the right not to be harassed for feeding your child.
@funnlim I don’t see all the fuss. When people smoke out in the streets (and give others second-hand smoking) no-one says a thing, but when someone is breastfeeding their baby, it will attract others to yell? The main point is, there’s no real negative externality. If the mom is not exposing anything then no one should be really bothered, as there’s nothing sexual or grating in the eyes about it, quite simply it’s just a mom feeding their baby.
@anthony It’s only an issue when you make it an issue.
@anthony I see the fuss because look at it from Asian context, not western context. Even in western context some are just too polite to be upset although some are upset. It does involve exposing a part of one’s body. Of course arguments can be made on why men can explose their chest and women can’t? But that aside, yes babies need to eat. Ella did right, and moreover I doubt she wants paps to take a pic of her breasts. But for the rest who did it in public sight in open space, again depends on the society and location. Of course we need to give mothers and their babies to feed,. it is their right but what about my right not to feel awkward? Where do I look? If I stare will I get punched for being a perv? if I ignore, can I even ignore? It may sound petty but it has a basis. I feel the same way with overexposed stars on mags and billboards. However in Malaysia and conservative countries, those are less. HK is more open in that sense but in actual fact they are quite reserved. In malaysia no one does kissing in open space. So when one does, people stare or feel awkward or is upset. Same thing. If the baby is hungry and babies tend to be hungry perhaps when going out, prepare a bottle. yes yes you have a right to breastfeed and all but so do I have a right not to feel awkward. You can say it is none of my business however you don’t own the space, nor do I. So to share, a bit of compromise is needed.
Ok shoot me. That’s how I feel.
@funnlim No, you’re wrong. Traditionally, public breastfeeding was very well accepted in countries like China, Japan and other southeast countries. In Taiwan and the Philippines, public breastfeeding is even protected by law. Ironically it’s because of globilization and ‘westernization’ that people developed a problem with it, like in Hong Kong. I blame the US to bhe honest. No matter how prudish Asian culture is even THEY understand historically that there isn’t inherently something shameful or sexual about nursing.
I’m sorry but it’s not my job to ‘make you not feel awkward’. YOU DO have a right to remove yourself from whatever situation you feel awkard in. YOU DO have a right to look away (don’t tell me you HAVE to look at a mother nursing her child and that’s the only option). YOU DO NOT have the right to demand other people accomodating to your petty needs.
Compromise comes from mutual respect and the way I see it between a mother breastfeeding her child and minding her own business and someone outright who disapproves, the latter is the only one being disrespectful towards someone else.
And in my experience nursing mothers are very discreet with public breastfeeding (usually even covering up the baby too even when they don’t have to).
Also: making sure a baby doesn’t starve >>>> might make a person ‘feel awkward’
I’m not going to shoot you, feel what you want to feel about the subject but just remember that next time you see someone breastfeeding in public they are just doing what they need to do and not going out of their way to ‘make you feel awkard’ or being disrespectful. Let that sink in.
@peanutbutterjelly let what sink what? Societal rules change over time. Come one day nudity in streets will be the norm. What as then is not what is now. It is two way street. Discreet is fine. That’s why why I said Ella is right. But in public well anyone is free to do whatever it takes but doesn’t mean everyone agrees. If I am,expected to respect the mothers decision to breastfeed in public and I do mean public, why cant I expect my feelings to be respected as well? Not starting an argument but I am not wrong and u r not right. I wont walk up and scold the woman, I,belong to the polite type who walks away, avoiding gaze. Doesn’t mean I agree. I don’t make a fuss but the mother should not,expect 100% agreement. What Ella did was right, she was being discreet there r rooms for changing babies which means same room to feed the baby. I will even say changing diapers should be in private.
@funnlim I understand where you’re coming from but I think a large part of your awkwardness toward public breastfeeding seems to come from breasts being shown as only objects of seduction and nothing else. We are barely exposed to breasts having any other purposes so when people see them out in public they freak out.
I also don’t see the big issue over where to look… it’s not like the mom’s breastfeeding 1 inch away from your face. Even if she is, the problem isn’t the breast, it’s the way you’re thinking about the breast. We sexualize breasts way too much so when moms breastfeed, some people find it indecent or slutty or claim moms are trying to seduce people when they’re just trying to feed their babies…
Also, people say using covers are a great solution but babies can easily push or move the covers and also, I don’t think any of us would enjoy eating with a cloth over our heads.
@funnlim
“If I am,expected to respect the mothers decision to breastfeed in public and I do mean public, why cant I expect my feelings to be respected as well?”
You’re insinuating that breastfeeding mothers are DIRECTLY DISRESPECTING YOU by nursing the baby in public. Which is of course 100% wrong.
“I,belong to the polite type who walks away, avoiding gaze. Doesn’t mean I agree.”
Well then what’s the fuss? You can just walk away and remove yourself from a situation you’re uncomfortable in even though there is no meant hostility towards you! What a wonderful world we live in.
“I don’t make a fuss but the mother should not,expect 100% agreement”
Look, the reason I replied to you is because I got the sense that you ‘do not agree with public breastfeeding’ on a LEGAL sense (meaning if you could be a lawmaker you’d ban it).
But if it’s only a subjective view towards public breastfeeding you have and like you said you would otherwise be polite about it in real life then I don’t think I’d have a problem with that.
Ok playing devil’s advocate here. If it’s not a celebrity and an everyday woman you see breastfeeding her baby or maybe even one of your older relatives, I have to admit the sight of it is kinda disturbing. It’s supposed to be a “private affair” especially in this culture where we have this paradoxical negative attitude towards general naked bodies but parade images of naked people around all the time. It’s like we’re prudes and in order to express our wild sides (in a safe manner), we encourage celebrities (whom many ppl put on an altar anyways) to do it instead. Similar to Japan where there’s generally a huge industry for p0rn, but no one is having any.
I got sidetracked, but as you can see, this is the reason why ppl are found on opposite ends of the spectrum. It’s either they’re open to the idea or firmly opposed to it.
However, I don’t think it’s right for that lady to yell at EK. How rude. It’s one thing if she got an issue with it, but as long as it’s not doing her any harm, why she hating?
@coralie I have seen many people breastfeed their babies. It honestly doesn’t bother me. Usually they are pretty cover up and discreet about it. Majority I seen have a cover. Those that doesn’t, it’s honestly not that bad.. as in, you don’t really see much unless you are really looking from above. That’s why I don’t see why it is such a big deal? You see more from people who wear nothing on the street then Mom that breastfeed. And no I don’t believe Mom should be force to use the restroom for breastfeeding! Why would they be force to feed their kid in a bathroom where other people do business?! Make absolutely no sense to me!!!! It’s disgusting for the kids IMO!
People who doesn’t like it, at least let the kid finish before yelling at them.
I did not breastfeed my kids as neither was able to latch so I never had this issue. But I have seem people with this dilemma and it’s madding!
@happybi I’ve seen ppl breastfeed. And yes, most women are very discreet about it, not confrontational at all. I’m not talking about these women though. Some ppl are really uncaring towards how they breastfeed their kids and openly let everything show, you know what I mean? Those I find somewhat disturbing. But yes, in cases like this where EK is obv already trying to be discreet, it’s extremely rude for that lady to go and insult her.
@coralie Ahh.. I think I know what you mean. Some people are just more comfortable with themselves. No biggie. Avoid eye contact and just keep walking. Ha!
@coralie I don’t mean to sound rude but how in the world is this ‘disturbing’? I don’t understand.
You make it sound like people view breastfeeding as sexual? But here is literally a baby drinking milk involved… I mean okay there are creeps and weirdos out there but I’d like to think that most people don’t have some breastfeeding fetish?
Can I not wear sandals anymore because some guy with a foot fetish might find that arousing? Of course not it’s their problem and not mine.
@peanutbutterjelly Is the word “disturbing” disturbing? lol. Maybe I should use another word instead. But I already explained why it’s disturbing. In a culture where we flaunt naked bodies in ads and celebrities endorses going naked all the time (Kim Kardashian for example), what’s so terrible about a woman breastfeeding her kid (which is purely not sexual)? But like I said, don’t mistake how comfortable we are with nudity by something that’s plastered and bombarded across the screens. That’s just a “safe way” for us to exhibit our ideals without ever having to do it ourselves (see previous example regarding the Japanese industry.) Frankly as it is right now, nudity is frowned upon. It’s why we have no nudist beaches in the US and why breastfeeding women are given the stink-eye.
Do I think it’s right? No. But is it disturbing for me? A bit because I’m not used to the sight of glaringly open nudity. It will take some time to adjust. I should explain in that I mean women who breastfeed their kids openly and not discreetly.
@coralie There are nude beaches in the US. Just google “nude beaches in US.” First link you’ll get is Top 10 Best Nude Beaches lol.
@jjwong Wow I had no idea. I could’ve sworn I read something a long time ago that said it’s not legal in the U.S. Geez, where have I been.
@coralie Look, from a cultural perspective I can see why people not used to seeing mother’s breastfeeding in public would find the sight a bit weird at first. You feel however you feel, you can’t help it. I understand.
However the way you describe it (‘the sight of glaringly open nudity’) sounds like witnissing a striptease or something. But I guess your misconception comes from the lack of representation of women actually breastfeeding in the U.S. (or wherever you live).
Like I’ve said, I’ve seen people breastfeed in public a lot of times. Some more ‘discreet’ than others but all of them are just doing one thing: making sure their baby don’t starve. None should be shamed however revealing it may be. And honestly 90% of the time a low-cut top is more revealing than the act of breastfeeding in public itself.
@peanutbutterjelly well if the moms are going to just let it hang without covering up, it is uncomfortable to watch. but if they cover up, then hey i don’t care. and say what you want about that, because full on nudity even if the child is suckling on the breast without showing any nipples, is still weird to me. but i feel that with anyone, breastfeeders or not (i.e. Miley Cyrus.)
and glaringly open nudity is just that – it has nothing to do with anything sordid, just in-your-face open nudity. don’t read more into it.
since you’re accustomed to it, then you’re attuned to this behavior. In the U.S., most women are very discreet about it. i’m not arguing that what EK is doing is wrong, but rather that ppl have their reasons with not being comfortable with breastfeeding in public (in my case i have to emphasize again that i only find completely naked breastfeeding disturbing.)
@coralie
Again, you can feel about it how you want, you can’t control it but I feel the need to say this:
In my experience nursing mothers are very discreet with public breastfeeding (usually even covering up the baby too even when they don’t have to).
“because full on nudity even if the child is suckling on the breast without showing any nipples, is still weird to me.”
What do you think breastfeeding in public looks like? It’s not like the nursing mothers are topless with tiny nipple covers on them?
Do these bother you then?
http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/files/2011/08/breastfeeding.-susana-bates-photo.jpg
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/j_zYoCRbTi4/hqdefault.jpg
http://cdn.skim.gs/images/ztan56sbhswuurg60qiw/breastfeeding-in-public
http://images.parenting.mdpcdn.com/sites/parenting.com/files/styles/story_detail_enlarge/public/breastfeeding-public_0.jpg?itok=XJbB7RDf
Red carpet events show more skin than this.
@peanutbutterjelly with exception to the lady in the pink blouse, all the other ones make me uncomfortable to see. Mily Cyrus in her getup with boob stickers also make me uncomfortable sooo…
@coralie you’re allowed to be ‘uncomfortable’ but not allowed to demand them to change to something you’re comfortable with. It’s like men are allowed to be aroused by women passing by on the street but not it’s not accepted to catcall or harass them. Do you get my point?
@peanutbutterjelly where did i say i require them to change for me? i think you’re looking to argue over something nonexistent. i only said that i can understand why ppl would be uncomfortable so…
@coralie Look, not trying to drag this much further and it’s nothing personal. But in your replies you just go on and on about breastfeeding ‘discreet’ vs ‘openly’ (whatever that may mean) and not too approving of the latter. But yes, you also didn’t particularly say they’re not allowed to do it so maybe I read too much into it.
However the pictures that I linked above all the women that are breastfeeding are doing it ‘discreetly’ in my opinion but you disagreed. So I’m not sure what your definition of ‘discreet’ is.
Okay I am honestly very disturbed by some comments here. There are people in this world that are actually against public breastfeeding? What? I have seen it so many times in public in my country (restaurants, museums, parks) and it’s the most natural and necessary thing in the world?
It makes you feel uncomfortable that a baby is drinking milk out of a nipple? Grow up and learn what breasts are for. Guys wearing pants that sag unto their ankles makes me uncomfortable. Doesn’t mean I have the right to ban that in public.
@peanutbutterjelly Unfortunately there are still places where breastfeeding in public are not accepted. Maddening and crazy for sure but way too many crazy people in this world these days!
@happybi Absolutely agree! Totally insane. However, the article and the reactions of the Hong Kong netizens and public gives me hope:
“Why are we forced to hide?” a netizen said. “The baby has the right to eat!” Another said, “It’s very upsetting to know that people are so old-fashioned.”
“Mothers in foreign countries can breastfeed everywhere,” said another netizen. “But Hong Kong is unfortunately not at that level yet!”
@peanutbutterjelly Asian in general is still behind in their thinking. Will take time for that to change for sure.
@peanutbutterjelly is there a particular reason why guys wearing pants that sag to their ankles make you uncomfortable?
@coralie because it’s impractical and ridiculous.
@peanutbutterjelly hmm do you feel the same about clowns or ridiculous fashion shows from brand name designers?
@coralie No.
But that’s really beside the point because clearly I was giving the saggy pants example as stating that WHILE I DON’T LIKE IT IT’S ALSO NONE OF MY BUSINESS HOW PEOPLE CHOOSE TO DRESS. Comparing it to the naysayers of public breastfeeding.
@peanutbutterjelly yeah you’re stating my point exactly. you’re maniacally saying how we’re wrong to feel uncomfortable about something (even though no one is saying they should stop doing it) but when you feel uncomfortable about something, you get all defensive. kinda hypocritical imo.
@coralie
What I said:
“You CAN feel uncomfortable THAT IS FINE but just because you feel that way doesn’t mean you can demand people to behave differently (the exact point I was making before your latest reply)”
What you heard:
“You are wrong for feeling uncomfortable about it.”
Okay then. Kinda missing the point imo.
Wait, didn’t the article say that she was breastfeeding in a female change room at the hotel? As in like a change room where you change clothes, right? Or do they mean change room as in a room within a washroom? I’m just confused as to where she was actually breastfeeding in. But regardless of where she was breastfeeding her baby. Wasn’t she inside a room? Meaning the doors were closed and not open where people can see while walking pass by right? How does that woman even know she was breastfeeding her baby? Did she hear the baby cry or Ella talking to her baby and open the door and sneak up to see what she was doing? If so, that’s quite rude of the woman as Ella deserves to have her own privacy. Like people have said here, she’s inside a room. God gives what does in there and it’s no one’s business but hers.
I support Ella on this one. That crazy woman was being unreasonable and it was totally uncalled for! The sad part is that Ella actually followed the right ‘protocol’ so to speak in that she tried to find a nursing room first and when she couldn’t find any, then she settled for a changing room – AND she even ran it by hotel staff and they were ok with it…so she was obviously making the effort to be considerate to others.
Personally, I have no problem with public breastfeeding, though by the same token, I can understand some people feeling uncomfortable with it. With that said though, the type of reaction that woman gave was unnecessary, especially since, like so many people here already pointed out, breastfeeding mothers are not harming anyone by doing it.
I wonder if this woman were in a situation where a pregnant woman suddenly went into labor and had to give birth right then and there, what would she do? Tell the pregnant woman don’t you dare let that baby come out and scream at any doctors or passers-by who try to help? Honestly, some people can be so ridiculous!
I thought breastfeeding is back on trend in developed countries, it’s sad that something so natural could go out of fashion or become a taboo. I breastfed my boy until he was three, had to nurse in public on a few occasions in the first year when I was breastfeeding exclusively and on demand, no problem in my country.
@genxx11 ‘ It’s sad that something so natural could go out of fashion or become a taboo’
Absolutely this. I didn’t know it was an issue in so many ‘developed’ countries until this article. How ironically backwards.
Just going to leave this here:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/southerndisposition/25-historical-images-that-normalize-breastfeeding-jlw6#.vtEQ6r13d
Ella…Well done!
Boobs are formed for baby!
First of all she was in private room so why get scolded? I see women naked in gym shower or locker rooms. People can wear bikini (boobs dripping) in the beach but people can’t feed their babies in public? They are not going to offer that many family restrooms in the public (cost too much money) so its not convenient especially if there’s a long line. Baby get hungry they will need food right away. I have a 4.5 week old baby. I’ve tried feeding her in the bathroom and it was not comfortable to feed her on the toilet – so tight and smelly from others pooping.
I used to be shy about it but I no longer is because I don’t care, my baby comes first. I would scold back at the lady if she makes my baby cry. This lady probably had breast milk before … Stupid!